


Begin Again

by kakera



Series: First and Last and Always [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Conspiracy, Flashbacks, Gift Fic, M/M, Memory Loss, OC death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prompt Fill, Sasaki Haise Is Kaneki Ken, Transphobia, Tumblr Prompt, Violence, expendable OCs, see i said they were expendable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 20:34:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4719521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakera/pseuds/kakera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a chance sighting of Sasaki, Hide begins to research him, convinced that he is none other than his missing friend, Kaneki. But the encounter he orchestrates doesn't go as he expected, and both Sasaki and Hide find themselves questioning what is left of Kaneki--and where it leaves them. </p>
<p>Prompt fill fic, can be considered a sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4656912">Last Call</a> but can also be read as a standalone. Rating and tags may change in future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sazzykins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sazzykins/gifts).



> Gift fic for Sazzykins, my wonderful prompt-happy friend. Once again this was from the tumblr 'things you said' prompt meme. The prompt was '22. things you said after it was over' and the pairing Hide/Sasaki.  
> Shishimumu is a bonus! 
> 
> This was meant to be a one-shot, but it got a little out of hand.

Name: Haise Sasaki (what kind of a name is that?). Birthday: April 2nd (wrong). Height: 170cm (he'd grown a little?) Weight: 58kg (gained a little weight too, and looked better for it). First Class Ghoul Investigator (he'd have hated that) and mentor of the Quinx Squad (no prizes for guessing why).

Hideyoshi Nagachika flipped through his research file and frowned at the stolen photograph of a man with white hair that was growing through black. The man looked good-natured and serious, and was dressed in CCG uniform. Though the name that accompanied the man was Haise Sasaki, Hide had no doubt that the man in the picture was his missing friend, Ken Kaneki.

Hide had been observing Sasaki for some months now, ever since a chance sighting drew the man to his attention. He'd had to take care with his movements, of course--being detected by the CCG was the last thing he'd want. But Hide was used to keeping under the radar, and had managed to piece together a pretty comprehensive profile on who 'Haise Sasaki' was. Short of hacking into CCG computers to gain medical records, Hide thought he probably had more information on the man than anyone else outside of the organisation.

He knew that Sasaki took care of the Quinx Squad, a group of four younger investigators who had undergone a procedure to have a quinque implanted into their body. Hide didn't know why the organisation continued such disgusting, Frankenstein-like procedures, especially as they weren't always successful. But it explained why half-ghoul Sasaki had been chosen as a mentor.

It appeared that Sasaki didn't like his ghoul side. Nor could he remember anything from the past. Sasaki only remembered being Sasaki.

Hide guessed the lack of memories certainly aided Sasaki's ability to do his job: Sasaki had been awarded a Golden Osmanthus medal. It meant he had exterminated at least a hundred ghouls in a year. Sasaki was not an investigator to be messed with.

Today, Hide would attempt to meet him.

 

"Maman! Let's stop at the arcade!" Saiko Yonebayashi's voice rang out as she ran across the square to Sasaki, a half-eaten crepe in one hand and a handheld game in the other.

Already at Sasaki's side, Kuki Urie grunted and muttered under his breath about wasting time.

"We've got a little time to relax before heading home," Sasaki spoke up, patting Saiko's head when she reached them. "Good work today, Saiko."

It was true that Saiko hadn't done _much_ work, as she'd more or less hidden the moment ghouls appeared, but the important part was that the young woman had got out of bed and left the house. Sasaki didn't believe that Saiko should fight if she didn't want to, though he knew the rest of the squad didn't share that opinion--especially Urie and Shirazu, who still hadn't paid for breaking down Saiko's door.

A little behind the others, Mutsuki glanced at Saiko's crepe and wondered where the girl had got it from. He hadn't noticed any crepe stalls nearby. "Where did you get that?"

"Back that way," Saiko pointed, eating another cream and chocolate-laden mouthful. "There's a man with a cart...There!"

As she pointed, the man appeared in the square, pushing a heavy-looking crepe cart, peaked cap pulled down over his hair. After a moment, he stopped walking and began to set the cart up opposite them.

Mutsuki's stomach growled. "...I'm going to get one," he decided, and set off towards the cart.

"Wait up, Tooru! Lend me some money?" Ginshi Shirazu hurried after him.

"Maman, I want another!" Saiko peered at Sasaki hopefully.

Sasaki smiled a little and produced his wallet. "Here, Urie. Get one for everyone." He held some money out, but Urie only rolled his eyes.

"I'm going home to train." Urie walked off, an air of irritation about him.

Letting out a sigh, Sasaki followed the others over to the cart. "I'll pay for this," he called out. "Order what you want."

 

"Thank you Maman! Going to the arcade now, okay?"

"Alright. Shirazu, Mutsuki, keep an eye on her. She's got fifteen minutes." Sasaki didn't want the task of removing Saiko from her beloved arcade games. She could be unmovable when she wanted to be.

The three Quinx trooped off munching their crepes, Saiko considerably more energetic than the others.

"Maman?" Hide had been quiet until now, only speaking up to greet the Quinx as they approached, and take their orders. But he couldn't help utter in amusement at the way the girl had addressed Sasaki. "That's 1200 yen altogether, by the way."

Sasaki smiled as he counted out the right change. "I'm a surrogate parent of sorts." He lifted his head as he handed over the money, looking at Hide's face for the first time. A shock ran through him when he met the familiar gaze. Sasaki dropped the money and stumbled backwards, confused. Who was this man? Why was he familiar?

A memory flashed through Sasaki's mind: the crepe guy, with shorter hair, smiling at him from the other side of a table. Sasaki collapsed onto his knees and for a split second experienced a rush of warmth and fondness--then it was gone as Hide touched his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Hide had rounded the cart and approached the shocked-looking Sasaki. He'd been prepared to surprise him, but hadn't expected this reaction.

Sasaki pulled away, discomforted by the flashback, but covered with a smile. "Sorry. Have we met before? You seem familiar..." Sasaki didn't know if he wanted to uncover his memories, but something in his heart wouldn't let him ignore them this time.

Hide tilted his head. His fears had been correct: Kaneki's memories were gone. Perhaps there was a shred of them left, however, in the mind of Sasaki. "I don't know. Maybe I've sold you something before? You're with the CCG, aren't you? I used to deliver to your main office as a part time job," Hide smiled cheerfully, and offered a hand to help him up. It was only a half-truth, but he didn't want to reveal everything. Though Sasaki looked like Kaneki, without Kaneki's memories he was little more than a tool of the CCG. Hide had to be wary.

"Oh, really?" Sasaki let Hide help him up, appearing more relaxed. "When was that?"

Hide shrugged. "About a couple of years ago? I left when I finished studying... Study didn't do me that good, mind you, but at least I get to eat some of my profits," he grinned, jerking a thumb towards the crepe cart.

"If you ever want a change, the CCG are always looking for new recruits," Sasaki told him. "Tell them Sasaki sent you." He felt suspicious of this guy after the flashback, though at the same time felt a familiar fondness towards him. It didn't make sense, especially since the crepe man implied they hadn't met before.

"Sasaki?" Hide forced a smile. "I'll remember that. My name is Nagachika. Hideyoshi Nagachika. Maybe we'll work together one day."

There was pain in Hide's eyes as he spoke, and his voice, though cheerful, carried a note of longing. Uncomfortable, Sasaki broke the gaze and stooped to pick up the money he'd dropped.

"Here," he said. "1200 yen, right? Sorry if I acted weird, Nagachika. For a moment I thought I knew you."

Hide shrugged, fingers brushing against Sasaki's hand when he took the money. "Don't worry," he replied, a little quieter than before and unable to hold Sasaki's gaze. He smiled. "Maybe we knew each other in another life. If you believe in that stuff." Hide effected a chuckle. His friendship with Kaneki felt like a dream sometimes, a memory from a life before this one. It still hurt to recall Kaneki's rejection, but Hide had never given up on him. Sasaki was Kaneki without any memories, and despite the rejection of the past, Hide wasn't going to give up now he'd found him. He'd been through too much pain to simply give up.

"Are you happy, Nagachika?" Sasaki blurted out. He frowned, embarrassed by his words, which had come out unbidden. He didn't know this man and it was none of his business, but Nagachika looked sad behind his smile.

Hide's smile faded. "Everyone calls me Hide, you know," he said softly. "And I don't think anybody in this world is completely happy. We all want for something more, regardless of what we have, don't we?"

"I don't know about that," Sasaki replied abruptly, about to protest that he didn't want for anything. But he did, didn't he? He wanted the flashbacks to stop plaguing him and he wanted his ghoul half to become silent. Would he be happy then? He didn't know. "But it's an interesting thought." Sasaki caught Hide's gaze again and saw hurt in the other's eyes. "Are you sure we don't know each other?" He asked suspiciously.

"You're Sasaki and I'm Hide. We know each other now, don't we? We just met," Hide laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm glad we met this evening, Sasaki. Nobody stops to talk to me, usually." Playing the sympathy card had always worked with Kaneki. Hide was about to find out if Sasaki was the same.

"That's a shame," Sasaki smiled sympathetically. This man was friendly, he didn't deserve to be ignored. Nobody did.

Across the square, Shirazu and Mutsuki appeared, dragging a grumbling Saiko with them.

"You've had fifteen minutes already," Shirazu's voice carried across the square. Mutsuki looked on as the taller Quinx hoisted Saiko onto his back.

"The guy with the eyepatch..." Hide began, watching them.

"Eye problem. He's sensitive about it," Sasaki replied.

"Ah," Hide nodded. "I knew someone like that, once." He doubted it was the usual sort of eye problem. More likely the guy was like Kaneki, and unable to control his kakugan. Hide had read a lot about ghouls since he first realised what had happened to Kaneki--back when Kaneki was still Kaneki.

"Mamaaaan! Another fifteen minutes?" Saiko called, a wheedling note in her voice.

Sasaki smiled faintly at Hide. "That's my cue to leave. Good luck with business, Nagachika."

"It's Hide... Good luck with the kids," Hide grinned, the expression not reaching his eyes.

For a moment, Sasaki hesitated. He felt as though he should say or do something more, and really didn't want to go. But those impulses bore no logic. Sasaki turned away.

"Goodbye, Kaneki."

Sasaki wheeled back in surprise and stared at Hide, a frown upon his face. "What did you say?"

"I said Goodbye, Sasaki," Hide blinked.

"Oh. For a moment, I thought you said something else."

Hide smiled faintly. "You must be working too hard, huh? Have a relaxing evening, won't you, 'Maman'?" Hide briefly thought his use of the girl's nickname was a step too far, as Sasaki's eyes widened slightly.

But Sasaki smiled. "Now you sound like a mother, Nagachika."

"Hide."

"Sorry." Sasaki nodded, having the strangest feeling that he'd not had a mother for quite some time. "Goodbye, Hide."

Another flashback raced through Sasaki's mind as he turned away: alone, curled up in some unidentified room. A phone, and sadness, so much sadness. Sasaki put a hand to his chest, frowning at the way his heart thudded heavily. It ached, too. Sasaki felt as though he'd just walked away from something important. He looked back, but a new group of customers stood around the crepe cart now, and Nagachika was barely visible behind them.

"Do you know him?" Mutsuki asked when Sasaki joined them.

Sasaki shook his head, but his gaze was uncertain.

Unnoticed by Saiko, Mutsuki exchanged a concerned glance with Shirazu.

 

A while after Sasaki and his squad had left the square, Hide pushed the cart away. Selling crepes wasn't the greatest money earner, but it was an easy way of going unnoticed. People didn't pay much attention to vendors of street food, often continuing their conversations right in front of him. He'd gained a lot of information that way, even from ghoul investigators. Hide was invisible when he pushed the cart. Humans saw the sign and smelt the food, but didn't really see the person making it. Sasaki had been the first.

Hide felt disappointed by their meeting, and realised that deep in his heart, he'd hoped Kaneki would suddenly regain all his memories. That hadn't happened, but Sasaki had felt some familiarity. Hide wondered if it was even possible to bring those memories back after all this time. It seemed that Sasaki didn't want them. Hide found that hard to accept. Did Kaneki want to forget him that badly?

Hide sighed. It wasn't Kaneki anymore, it was someone new: a stranger who looked and sounded just like his beloved friend.

Hide supposed he'd have to get to know Sasaki instead.

 

Sasaki finished cleaning up the Chateau and looked about himself. The Quinx squad were nowhere to be seen, but he could hear them: Urie's grunts as he worked out, the music of Saiko's video game, and muffled groans from Shirazu's room. Sasaki took off his apron and glanced at Shirazu's door, wondering how long he and Mutsuki would try to hide it. Sasaki didn't mind, so long as they were careful.

Realising that with everyone so occupied, he had a rare moment alone, Sasaki sat down to get some work done. Then he remembered Nagachika wishing him a relaxing evening. The crepe seller hadn't been all that convincing in saying that they didn't know each other. He'd spoken in too much of a familiar way, and looked at him with an expression that suggested he'd known Sasaki's name before he'd introduced himself.

Sasaki needed to find out if it was true.

Turning to the computer, he began to search Nagachika's name.

Sasaki's eyes widened at what he found.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having discovered something about Hide, Sasaki seeks him out, wanting to get to the bottom of it. Hide's reaction isn't as he expects, and the ensuing conversation proves revealing. Sasaki knows Hide has lied, but can't help himself from going back for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, blame Sazzykins, instigator of all the fanfiction.
> 
> Wasn't going to post this yet, but saw ch43 spoilers and have feels.

A week had passed since Hide met Sasaki, and he was still deciding upon his next move. Pushing the cart out of the square where he'd met Sasaki, Hide continued to muse upon what he would do next.

"You knew Ken Kaneki."

The voice made Hide cringe. How had Sasaki figured that out?

Then he realised he'd made a rookie mistake: he'd told Sasaki his real name. But hadn't he done so in the hope it would jog Kaneki's memory?

Hide stopped pushing the cart and turned to face the investigator. "Yeah," he admitted cautiously. "I knew him."

"I'm not Kaneki."

Hide studied the ground, unable to look at the other man. "I know." Acknowledging it aloud made it too painful, too real. Hide blinked back tears. "He was my best friend."

Sasaki had been ready for a confrontation, but not tears. "I'm sorry," he said gently, troubled by the look on Hide's face. This wasn't the first time Sasaki had been mistaken for a man named Ken Kaneki, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. But something in his heart didn't want to casually brush Nagachika off, as he had done others.

Hide shook his head and heaved a sigh. "It's okay. Kaneki was lost to me years ago." He glanced at Sasaki quickly, then away again. "When I saw you last week, I thought you were him. But I know that you aren't. Kaneki is...gone."

Sasaki frowned at the tears sliding down Hide's cheeks. It wasn't so much the sight of them - he'd seen plenty in his time - but the feeling they gave him. Hide's tears made him feel uncomfortable and guilty. Sasaki experienced a strong urge to hold him, but he restrained himself. Unable to shake the feeling of protectiveness, he stepped forward and offered a clean handkerchief. "Please don't cry, Nagachika. Kaneki wouldn't want you to cry." The words came from deep within, a confusing, shadowy part of Sasaki that he tried to ignore. It made him want to get out of there immediately, away from Hide and the danger of disturbing hidden memories. But his feet wouldn't move. Sasaki couldn't leave Hide crying in the street. Not when he felt so responsible.

Hide clutched the handkerchief and wiped his eyes, though Sasaki's words only caused him to cry harder. "I-I know..." Hide uttered shakily. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, to try and control the tears. "I just..."

Sasaki hesitated, then reached out and patted Hide's shoulder. "You hoped to find him, didn't you."

Hide muffled a sob behind his hand, and nodded. "Yes..." he whispered. "He's gone. I know."

Hide looked wretched. Sasaki remembered the smiling face from the week before, and the sad yet hopeful eyes, and somehow knew that Hide looked gorgeous when he had a genuine smile on his face. Alive and vibrant: a ray of sunshine amidst the clouds. Sasaki found himself longing to see it. He wanted to stop Hide from crying, at least.

"Can you take a break for a while?" he asked gently. "I'll buy you some coffee..." Sasaki took a breath, and decided to face the danger head on. "I'd like you to tell me about Kaneki, if that's okay."

Sasaki was afraid of disturbing memories, but the way things were going, he would never be able to function properly without understanding the truth behind those flashbacks. It had already put him and his comrades in danger, and Sasaki couldn't risk that happening anymore. He knew Kaneki wasn't coming back. It wouldn't hurt to find out about him--about the person he once was.

 

"He was kind, like you..." Hide murmured. They had been sitting in silence for several minutes since settling down in a quiet cafe nearby. Hide's cart was parked outside, and he stared out at it blankly as he spoke. It was obvious to Sasaki that Hide's mind was in the past. "Kaneki never wanted to hurt anybody. He was scared of losing people and ending up alone. So many people let him down..." Hide sighed, curling his hands around his cup. "I always did my best to be there for him and look out for him. He was too trusting, and so damn naive."

"You were always strong for him, weren't you?" Sasaki commented, sipping his coffee.

Hide nodded, closing his eyes momentarily. He got tired of trying to be strong, sometimes. "He hated seeing people sad. So I always hid my pain and smiled. Right up to the end..." Hide cringed. The last time he'd seen Kaneki, they had both been injured. He'd tried to tell Kaneki that everything would be okay, but nothing he said had come out like he wanted it to. His memory of that time was jumbled - he'd been in a lot of pain - but he remembered Kaneki going crazy and attacking him. In that moment, it hadn't been Kaneki. Something had stopped Kaneki after that first bite, though. Then Kaneki had collapsed, and Hide had run away. He had a scar on his shoulder in the shape of his friend's teeth, and the permanent regret that in the end, he wasn't there for Kaneki. And it had been the last time he saw him.

Hide forgave Kaneki for attacking him, but he couldn't forgive himself for abandoning his best friend.

"You were very close," Sasaki stated, watching Hide's expression. He didn't know what was going on in Hide's mind, but it was obvious that Hide was in turmoil. "You must have cared about him a lot."

"I did," Hide sighed. "We were best friends, until he didn't want to see me anymore," he said softly. "I understood why he pushed me away, but..." Hide shrugged. Understanding didn't stop it from hurting.

"Oh..." Sasaki couldn't comprehend why anyone would do that to their best friend. Sasaki didn't have a best friend, but there were many people he felt loyal to. They were loyal to him too, though he wondered how long that would last if he lost control of his ghoul side--or even if some of them discovered its existence. Sasaki worked hard to maintain the illusion of 'human'.

"I know what you are," Hide said, lifting his gaze from the cart outside in order to look at Sasaki.

Sasaki looked back in mild alarm. Had he said something aloud that Hide shouldn't have heard?

"That's all I wanted to say to him," Hide continued, smiling ruefully. "I know what you are, and it's okay. It doesn't change my feelings."

Sasaki gripped his cup tightly, heart leaping into his throat. Hide's words made him feel emotional, even though he knew they were directed at Kaneki. Sasaki swallowed. "...and what was he, Nagachika?" he asked softly.

Hide sighed. "Half-ghoul. Artificially. He wasn't born that way."

"You could get into trouble for keeping that from the CCG..." Sasaki began. One look at Hide's tired face told him that Hide didn't care anymore. "It's in the past, I suppose."

"I'd have protected him," Hide's voice was soft. "But he was too busy trying to protect me from himself. He didn't know that I knew. And when I saw him for the last time... I abandoned him. I was no better than anyone else who let him down." Hide hadn't wanted to talk about it, but his confession slipped out of its own accord. Sasaki was too easy to talk to. Just like Kaneki.

"He attacked you, didn't he?" Sasaki said. "He lost control."

"It wasn't his fault. He was injured," Hide protested.

"So were you."

They eyed each other, Hide looking considerably more hopeful than Sasaki. But his hopes were dashed when Sasaki spoke next.

"Lucky guess..."

Hide rested his chin in his hand, studying Sasaki. It was strange, talking to this man, this Kaneki-but-not-Kaneki. "You've lost control too, haven't you?"

Sasaki froze. Civilians weren't supposed to know about that. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess." Hide lied. He sipped his coffee and regarded Sasaki's apprehensive expression. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

Sasaki nodded, and silence fell between them momentarily as they nursed their drinks contemplatively, each stuck for what to say next.

"...I think he'd understand why you abandoned him. He'd forgive you." Sasaki commented after a few minutes, his tone gentle.

"Please don't talk about him as though he's still there." The desolate, weary look was in Hide's eyes again.

"You've given up hope, haven't you."

"What hope do I have left? I'm sitting here, talking to him. But you're him now. His body has been taken over by you. As you, Kaneki has a whole new life, with confidence and skill, and friends and a stable job, and people that look up to him. You've got everything Kaneki could ever have needed. Though he wouldn't have liked the job..." Hide gulped down the last of his coffee and smiled, but it was a fake smile. He got to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. "Sasaki... I loved Kaneki. So make sure you don't get killed." Hide's eyes were brimming with tears and he walked away, wanting to escape to somewhere more private before he began to sob.

"Hide!" Sasaki's body moved of its own accord, leaping up from the chair and grabbing for the other man. He caught hold of Hide's hand and when Hide looked back, was at a loss for what to say.

Hide was crying again, but his eyes widened when he locked eyes with Sasaki. They stared at each other, Hide's gaze full of hope and surprise, and Sasaki's heart pounding.

"...call me, if you want to talk. Please." Sasaki pressed a business card into Hide's palm, and let go of his hand. His mind was reeling from everything Hide had just said.

Hide looked at the card, and mumbled under his breath as he slipped it into his pocket.

Sasaki raised a brow. "I didn't catch that...?"

Hide stepped closer, biting his lip. Then he lifted a hand and placed it lightly over Sasaki's left eye. "Your kakugan is showing," he whispered. "And we're being watched."

"Then it's time we left," Sasaki replied under his breath. He was perplexed by the appearance of the kakugan. It shouldn't have happened. Not here, sitting in a cafe with Kaneki's best friend. Could it be because Hide had loved Kaneki? It certainly stirred up some strong emotions. But he wasn't Kaneki. He couldn't be.

 

They made their way outside, Sasaki bowing his head to avoid eye contact with anyone. When they reached the crepe cart, he looked at Hide, feeling as though he was seeing him with two different minds. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"Are you?" Hide peered at him tearily and forced a smile. "You're the one in danger, walking around like that."

"I'll be fine," Sasaki shrugged. "I'll get a taxi."

"I can walk you somewhere, if you want..."

"Don't worry, Hide. You've got your cart to run. I already took up enough of your time today." Sasaki smiled faintly. "Do call me though, if you want to talk. About anything... Really, please call me."

Hide nodded. "Thank you, Sasaki..." He shuffled his feet, realising it was time to part. "Goodbye, then. Thanks for the coffee."

"You're welcome. Take care, Hide."

"You too, Sasaki."

Somewhat awkwardly they parted company, soon becoming lost in their own thoughts as they went their separate ways.

 

Sasaki reached home without any problems. By the time he'd arrived, his eyes were back to normal. He contemplated going to Dr Shiba to get checked over, but eventually decided against it. The triggering of his eye might have been a one-off event: the conversation with Hide had stirred rather strong emotions, after all. Sasaki was surprised at how strong those feelings had been.

In hindsight, he supposed it made sense. Hide had been precious to Kaneki. He'd loved Kaneki, and Sasaki was pretty certain Hide hadn't been talking about platonic love.

Hide had lied about a few things, that much was obvious. Back when they first met, Hide had lied about delivering to CCG offices. The truth - as Sasaki had found out when he researched the guy - was that Hide had _worked_ for the CCG. Sasaki wasn't able to find out anything more than that, as Hide's file appeared to be corrupted. It made him a little suspicious. Why would Hide deny working for an organisation as prominent as the CCG?

Despite the lies, Sasaki couldn't help liking Hide. The man seemed to have a good heart, and was heavily hung up on what he saw as his failures as a friend to Kaneki.

Besides, Sasaki couldn't be angry with Hide for lying. Over coffee, Sasaki had told a few lies himself.

He'd had flashbacks.

It had been hard to keep control of himself, to hold back the panic and the sick feeling he got whenever those memories flashed through his mind.

Through Kaneki's eyes, Sasaki had seen the moment he attacked Hide. Through Kaneki's eyes, he'd seen Hide run away, footsteps lost in the gurgling of water. He'd felt the shock, the guilt, and the heartache that Kaneki had felt before falling unconscious.

Sasaki knew that in those moments before the blackness, Kaneki hadn't blamed Hide for running away. And the fluttering sensation in his stomach told him that probably, Kaneki had quietly loved Hide back. Never touching, never telling: too afraid.

"You can't tell him." The white-haired boy sat beside Sasaki. They were on a couch in a room similar to one Sasaki had seen in a previous flashback. The boy looked to the side, and Sasaki followed his gaze to see a black haired, adult Kaneki, curled up and sobbing. "You can't tell him," Kaneki echoed the words of the boy, who disappeared. "Even if you don't accept me, you must protect Hide. Don't let me--"

"Sasaki?"

Opening his eyes, Sasaki found Mutsuki leaning over him anxiously. He blinked, finding himself sprawled out on the couch. Sasaki couldn't remember sitting down there.

"Did I fall asleep?" Sasaki smiled apologetically as his subordinate drew back. "Is something wrong?"

Mutsuki shook his head. "You were talking in your sleep. And you looked uncomfortable..." He hesitated, as though he was going to say something more. "...that's all."

"Hope I didn't say anything weird," Sasaki joked mildly, looking at his watch.

"Nothing intelligible," Mutsuki shrugged. "But you mentioned a name. Hide? That was all I heard."

"Goodness knows what I was dreaming about." Sasaki got to his feet and stretched. "It's late. I'm going to sleep. Don't stay up too late, Mutsuki."

Sasaki traipsed off to bed, the ghost of Kaneki still hovering within his mind.

 

Hide lay on his bed, pondering the conversation he'd had with Sasaki. The ghoul investigator had wanted to know about Kaneki, but Hide had ended up talking more about himself than his best friend.

He wondered if it had been as strange for Sasaki as it had been for him, to talk about the person Sasaki once was. Talking about Kaneki had been as painful as ever, and might have been weird if Sasaki wasn't so easy to talk to. Talking had been helpful, in a way. That extra time with Sasaki had helped Hide to realise that beyond looks and good-natured kindness, Kaneki and Sasaki were different. Sasaki thought more intelligently, for a start. He understood more deeply. Whilst Kaneki had been naive and weak, Sasaki had an aura of strength and knowing.

Hide had loved Kaneki unconditionally, but had always wished his friend would become stronger and lose the naivety that had got him into so much trouble. Pity that those stronger traits were there now, when Kaneki was all but erased.

Meeting Sasaki, and seeing those qualities within him, Hide had experienced a new kind of attraction. He didn't want to protect Sasaki, as Sasaki didn't need it. But he longed to be by his side. To be there for him, to fight with him, or at least work with him behind the scenes. Shame it wasn't really possible anymore. Anyway, Hide had never been that good at fighting.

Letting out a sigh, Hide picked up the two photographs that he'd dropped onto the bed: one of Kaneki, the day they started at Kamii University, and the other of Sasaki. Neither were posed; both had been taken without their knowledge. Aside from age and a change in hairstyle, they looked identical. Hide smiled faintly, studying their faces. Whether it was Kaneki or Sasaki, he was cute. There was a warm, friendly homeliness about him, a welcoming gaze that had never failed to draw Hide in. Hide could freely admit that he was still besotted with Kaneki. But Sasaki was Kaneki now, wasn't he?

Letting the images fall onto his chest, Hide closed his eyes and wondered what - if anything - to do next. Should he leave Sasaki alone? He wasn't Kaneki, after all, and he was a ghoul investigator of all things.

On the other hand, Sasaki seemed like a nice guy. There was nothing to suggest otherwise, as both Hide's research and firsthand experience had proven Sasaki to be kind, thoughtful and trustworthy. Then there was the fact that Sasaki had asked Hide to call him, 'about anything'. As though Sasaki wanted to stay in touch. He'd seemed almost desperate about it. Hide wondered how much of that had been Sasaki's desire, and how much had been influenced by whatever remained of Kaneki in Sasaki's subconscious.

Still questioning this, Hide unwittingly drifted off to sleep.

 

"He was talking about Kaneki in his sleep again," Mutsuki spoke softly as he perched on the edge of Shirazu's bed. The taller Quinx opened one eye and waited for Mutsuki to continue.

"He mentioned the name Hide, too. Something about protecting him."

Shirazu scratched his bare chest and yawned. "Probably just a dream. Forget about it."

"He keeps having those dreams. Something is up with him." Mutsuki toyed with the hem of his nightshirt, anxious.

Propping himself up on one elbow, Shirazu tugged off Mutsuki's eyepatch and caressed his cheek. "Tooru. Forget about it for now. We can't do anything in the middle of the night."

Mutsuki closed his eyes and tilted his head into Shirazu's touch. "I think we should follow him next time he goes out alone. I'm worried."

"And what if he's going to see a woman, huh?" Shirazu sat up, coming nose to nose with Mutsuki. "Forget it." He pressed a kiss to Mutsuki's lips.

"Please, Ginshi?" Mutsuki caught Shirazu's hands before they slid inside his clothes. "We needn't tell the others."

Shirazu rolled his eyes and flopped backwards, pulling Mutsuki down against his chest. "Alright. But you've got to let it drop if it turns out to be nothing."

"It's a deal," Mutsuki let out a sigh and nuzzled Shirazu's chest sleepily. "Mm, goodnight, Ginshi..." He cuddled against him, closing his eyes.

"...Hey." Shirazu prodded him after a moment of silence. "Is that all the thanks I get?"

Mutsuki let out a soft snore.

Tutting, Shirazu wrapped his arms around Mutsuki's slim form and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "We're gonna be in so much trouble if we're found out," he murmured.

He couldn't deny he was worried about Sasaki, too. Shirazu just hoped that it would all turn out to be nothing.

 

Another week passed, and Hide didn't call Sasaki. He couldn't bring himself to do so, couldn't think up a good enough reason. Sasaki might have invited him to call about anything, but Hide figured that 'just because' wasn't the best explanation for calling.

Partway through the second week since getting Sasaki's number, the man himself showed up during Hide's rounds with the crepe cart.

"You decided not to call..." Sasaki appeared before the cart.

When Hide looked up, he realised that the Quinx Squad were nearby. "Yeah," he replied, awkward and more than a little guilty.

Sasaki signalled to the menu. "One with forest fruits and honey, one with peanut butter and banana, one with chocolate and whipped cream. Sorry if I was forceful that day."

Hide nodded and set to work making the crepes. "Sorry I didn't call," he replied, voice low so that the nearby investigators didn't overhear. "It was too hard for me, Sasaki. To hear his voice, when it's you--Besides, I've had nothing to call about."

"I told you to call about anything, didn't I? You don't need a reason. So long as I'm not working, we can chat. I'd like to."

"You really want me to call you, don't you?" Hide chuckled softly, loading the crepes with fillings. "I don't want to sound rude, but why? We barely know each other."

"Then you have your reason," Sasaki smiled faintly. "I don't know, Nagachika. Last time we met, I had a really strong feeling that it shouldn't _be_ the last time."

"You started calling me Hide last time. When you chased after me." Hide handed over the crepes. "I'd rather you called me Hide."

"I did. Sorry," Sasaki balanced the food in one hand and felt for his wallet. "How much is that today?"

"On the house. Your kids look hungry," Hide grinned a little. "You and the serious-faced guy don't like crepes?"

Sasaki glanced back at the group. "Urie is in a bad mood. I'm not crazy about sweet food, and we're heading back for dinner. The others are just greedy for your crepes. Apparently they're really good," Sasaki smiled.

"Try one next time, okay?" Hide smiled back. "I'll make you a savoury one."

Sasaki nodded, half-turning away. "Maybe. See you around, Hide."

 

The next time the Quinx Squad appeared, it was Shirazu who stepped up to buy the crepes. Hide made their orders, took the money, and then made up one extra. "Give that to Sasaki," he said, wondering why Sasaki hadn't come along himself. Was it because he still hadn't called? "Tell him it's a freebie."

Shirazu grinned a crooked-toothed grin and gathered the crepes awkwardly. "Cheers."

Hide watched him rejoin the group, and smiled at Sasaki's surprise in being presented with a crepe. When Sasaki looked over, Hide grinned and waved.

Sasaki nodded, smiling back faintly. Hide was glad to see him take a big mouthful of crepe, and even more pleased when Sasaki swallowed and gave him the thumbs up. Whatever the CCG had done to Kaneki, at least he was able to eat human food again as Sasaki.

 

After that, making crepes for the Quinx Squad became something of a regular thing, though Urie rarely wanted one, and Sasaki seldom ordered, either.

"Don't you like my crepes?" Hide asked one evening, as he loaded up the chocolate and cream.

"It's not that," Sasaki shook his head. "They taste good, but crepes aren't my thing. Besides, I don't like to snack outside of mealtimes."

It was always the same answer. Hide smiled a little. Sasaki seemed to have forgiven him for never calling. He still didn't have anything to call about, anyway. Their little conversations at the crepe stand were enough. Ever so slowly, he was getting to know Sasaki, and looked forward to each time they would meet again.

 

Over two weeks had gone by, and Hide hadn't seen Sasaki and co. He was worried about them, able to think of a hundred different scenarios in which they were hurt, or even killed. They hadn't stopped by the cart for ages.

Though Hide knew logically that their absence more likely meant they were busy with investigations, he couldn't stop the worry, and on his way to return some rented films, he kept an eye out for them, just hoping for a glimpse of Sasaki's face among the crowds. But the area was quiet, with few people about. Wherever Sasaki and the Quinx were, Hide hoped they were safe.

On the way home again, Hide realised he was being followed. He'd felt it for the last few blocks: that tingly, crawling sensation in the back of his skull, the sense that eyes were fixed upon his back. Hide tried to walk calmly, as though he hadn't noticed. Gazing about casually, Hide sought refuge. It was evening, and most of the shops and stands nearby had closed down for the night. The train station seemed a bad idea: anybody could get attacked there, if it was quiet enough. Just recently, ghouls had killed a group of office workers in a station nearby. Hide didn't want to risk it.

At last he caught sight of an all-night convenience store, his footsteps speeding up subconsciously as he headed towards it. Hide's pulse raced. If he could get to the convenience store, he'd be safe.

The footsteps behind him sped up too. Hide ran the last few metres, and he heard something crash into the wall beside the door just as he dived through it.

The convenience store clerk looked at the entrance with wide eyes, and Hide picked himself up off the floor quickly. "Lock the doors and call the CCG," he told her. "Something's outside."

But whoever - whatever - had followed him wasn't coming in, and the clerk only peered over the counter at him, rooted to the spot. Hide backed away from the door and shoved his hands in his pockets, seeking out his phone. He'd call the CCG himself if the clerk couldn't.

Beside his phone, his fingers closed upon a small rectangle of card.

Sasaki's business card. It had been there for ages now, so long that he'd almost forgotten about it.

Hide dialled the number with trembling fingers, one eye on the shadow that moved back and forth outside the door.

"Sasaki." The call was answered almost immediately.

Hide sighed in relief. "It's Hide. Come quickly, I think there's a ghoul outside."

"Where are you?! I'm coming."

Hide told him the location, praying that Sasaki was close by.

Sensing someone beside him, Hide looked up to see the clerk nearing him. Her pupils were red, and the rest of her sclera black: shining, predatory. Ghoulish. "Don't you like my pet?" She smiled, a tentacle-like kagune unfolding from her back.

Hide dropped his phone as the ghoul struck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasaki arrives at the convenience store, ready to fight ghouls. The scene is in a state of carnage--and where is Hide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time, but a long one is coming!

By the time Sasaki reached the scene, another squad was already there. An investigator lay dead in the street, blood pouring from his body. Outside the convenience store, a ghoul wearing a studded leather mask lashed out at the remaining squad members, who fought back with angry cries. One of their number had been killed by this ghoul. Now these men and women fought not merely for justice, but for vengeance.

"Sasaki? What are you doing here?" One of the investigators called out as Sasaki ran into the fray.

"I called it in!" Sasaki shouted back. Activating his quinque, he fended off an attack from the ghoul. Sasaki swiftly delivered a blow to the kagune, not wincing when the ghoul cried out in pain. The ghoul swung its kagune angrily at the investigators, trailing blood from the wound Sasaki had made.

Where it stood, the ghoul was blocking the entrance to the convenience store. Sasaki narrowed his eyes. Hide was in there, and judging by how abruptly the phone call had cut off, he might be hurt. Sasaki hadn't stopped to tell the Quinx Squad what was happening, he'd simply grabbed his quinque and run, putting out a call for a nearby squad on the way there.

When Hide's call was cut off, Sasaki had experienced a tremor of fear. He hoped Hide was alright. There was still a lot he wanted to talk to him about.

Ducking under the swaying kagune and jabbing from underneath, Sasaki ran towards the entrance--and the ghoul.

"Watch out!" yelled a blood-soaked officer.

The ghoul swung for the woman, sending her flying across the street. Sasaki didn't stop to watch or help; he used the distraction to attack. Leaping upwards, he used all his force to drive his quinque through the ghoul's torso.

The ghoul spluttered and toppled forward, blood gurgling from its mouth. Sasaki hurdled over the body and ran through the automatic doors.

 

The convenience store was a mess. The shelves had been toppled, and produce and tins were scattered all over the floor. Some of the ceiling had fallen down and a window was smashed, the walls showing signs of being hit repeatedly with a kagune--and a body. There was blood everywhere, and Sasaki felt uncharacteristically sick. Following the trails of blood with his eyes, he could mentally reconstruct what had happened here.

 

Hide had been attacked by a display of fruit. The moment the kagune came flying towards him, he'd dropped his phone and thrown the stand in the ghoul's path. Using the distraction, he'd scooted around the next aisle, ducking out of sight behind the stacked cans. That was when he realised the ghoul's kagune had hit him. Hide pressed a hand to his side, wincing at how much blood he felt but too fuelled by adrenaline to notice any pain. Then the ghoul toppled the shelves and Hide had pushed himself from the ground, leaving a bloody handprint on the tiles. He'd only gone a few paces when the shelves had landed on him, knocking him back to the floor. Hide's head had connected with the edge of the shelves opposite, stunning him long enough for the ghoul to grab hold.

But then Hide had fought back, jabbing first at the ghoul's eyes - he knew that nothing but quinque could harm a ghoul's flesh - and running for the door when the ghoul released him. But the other ghoul was outside the door. Hide was trapped.

His eyes darted around the store, and he spied the door to the back room. Hide had run for it, only to be thrown against the wall by the ghoul. He landed heavily, fracturing bones, and the ghoul grabbed him and threw him again. This time, Hide rolled, momentarily disappearing from view behind another aisle of shelving. He used that moment to struggle to his feet and stumble towards the back room.

The ghoul had been ruthless in chasing after him, and eventually caught him and threw him through the door, smashing the lock and knocking the door off its hinges.

 

Hand steady on his quinque, Sasaki followed the smudged trail of blood towards the door of the back room.

"Sasaki! We were first on the scene. Leave this to us!"

Not looking back, Sasaki held up a hand, signalling that there may be another ghoul on the premises. The agent at the door fell silent and Sasaki crept stealthily into the back room.

This room was also a mess, though not as destroyed as the shop. The back door hung open on one hinge, marks around the frame suggesting the ghoul had fled.

Sasaki gulped and took a step back. Did this mean Hide was dead?

No, it couldn't be. Sasaki wasn't done with Hide yet. He sagged against the doorframe, feeling his ghoul side rise up as a flashback engulfed him: fighting a ghoul, throwing it repeatedly against a wall, and then tearing out its kagune, eating it piece by piece...

Sasaki thought he was going to vomit. He put a hand to his mouth, trembling.

Then the store clerk dropped from the ceiling, mouth bloody and grinning.

Sasaki couldn't evade the attack in time. The ghoul tackled him to the floor, snapping at his face. Sasaki whipped his head aside, feeling her teeth graze his cheek and tear off a slice of flesh. He shoved her away, dazed, and struggled to his feet as some of the team from outside ran in.

Within the confines of the room, it was difficult for the investigators to wield their quinque without harming their comrades. But for the ghoul store clerk, the lack of space didn't matter. She fought them mercilessly.

Sasaki jumped aside to avoid her, and swung his quinque to defend a fellow investigator who had been knocked to the ground. This ghoul was stronger than the one outside. He knew he could take her down, but not with everyone else around. He trembled with rage. If this ghoul had killed Hide, he was going to destroy her.

"Pull back!" he shouted aloud.

"I'm in charge here!" Argued the squad leader.

Sasaki hit back at the ghoul and growled, letting his kakugan appear. "Do you want to die?"

The squad leader looked at him in astonishment, then took a step backwards towards the doorway. "Pull back!" he called to his squad. "Sasaki can handle this one."

The team obeyed, but had to fight to retreat. The ghoul wasn't going to let them escape easily.

Seeing that she was going to stop them, Sasaki jabbed at her kagune with his quinque.

"Here!" He shouted.

The clerk dropped the investigator in her grasp and rounded on Sasaki.

A second kagune shot out of her shoulders without warning, and suddenly Sasaki was showered with shards that hit him like flames. He was overcome by another flashback: a similar ukaku type kagune, and a young woman with an angry face, using it to defend him. Sasaki groaned, staggering backwards and gripping his quinque tighter. This couldn't happen now. Flashbacks could wait.

Suddenly everything went white. Kaneki stood before him, black-haired and dressed like a coffee shop waiter, an eyepatch over his left eye.

"To defend him, you need me." Kaneki smiled and held out a hand. "Accept me."

Sasaki had no time for this. His heart raced with urgency. Hide's whereabouts were at the forefront of his mind. If he didn't snap out of this, he'd die without being able to save anyone.

Sasaki reached for Kaneki's hand.

Kagune erupting from his back, a man somewhere between Sasaki and Kaneki launched himself at the ghoul.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide is found injured and unconscious. As they watch over him on Sasaki's command, Mutsuki and Shirazu wonder: just who is Hide? And what does he mean to Sasaki?

The first thing Sasaki was aware of when he regained consciousness was something wet and heavy on top of him. It shifted, and he opened his eyes to see Shirazu and Mutsuki pulling the ghoul's decapitated corpse from on top of him.

"We thought you were dead!" Mutsuki exclaimed.

"Mutsuki? Shirazu? Why are you here?" Sasaki scrambled to his feet, checking himself over and finding himself undamaged. His ability to heal hadn't been affected, then.

"You ran out without saying anything. It seemed like an emergency, so we followed." Mutsuki glanced at Shirazu, who nodded.

"Yeah. When we showed up, they told us to keep back because you were going crazy in here," Shirazu added. "Then we saw you both go down."

Sasaki brushed off his clothing, despite it being ruined with rips and blood stains. "Just doing my job." He blinked and looked about the room. "Any civilian casualties?"

"None. Only CCG casualties." Mutsuki reported.

So Hide wasn't here. Unless the ghoul had completely devoured him.

Frowning, Sasaki stumbled to the back door and looked out.

The alley behind the convenience store was littered with garbage bags, some of which had been thrown around, their contents scattered across the ground. It looked as though a fight had happened out here, too. Had Hide fought back as the ghoul killed him?

"Shirazu, Mutsuki. Stay there." Sasaki stepped grimly into the alley and began to look around.

He spied Hide a few metres away, face down and half hidden by stinking garbage bags. Sasaki raced over and dropped to his knees, pulling away the bags. The back of Hide's jacket and shirt were ripped, and his skin was scratched up underneath. No serious damage, thank goodness. Sasaki checked for a pulse, and was overcome with relief when he found a heartbeat.

"Hide?" Sasaki carefully rolled Hide onto his back.

The man's breath hitched and he let out a soft whimper. "......ki." Hide murmured.

Sasaki didn't stop to wonder if Hide spoke his name or Kaneki's. He was too busy checking Hide for injuries. There had been a lot of blood in the convenience store, and there was a big bloodstain on Hide's shirt, too. Yet upon drawing the shirt up, Sasaki found little more than a surface wound. He frowned in suspicion and cautiously checked Hide's eyes, relieved to see his irises were still warm brown beneath his eyelids: human eyes. It seemed Hide had had a lucky escape. The cut on his temple probably explained his being unconscious.

"Hide?" Sasaki shook him gently and patted his cheeks.

"Is he alive?" Shirazu spoke up behind him.

"I told you to wait inside," Sasaki replied, not looking up.

"Sorry." Mutsuki glanced at Shirazu, brow raised. Who was this Hide, and what did he mean to Sasaki? Judging by the serious look on Sasaki's face, Hide wasn't just anybody. "Arima is here, and wants to know what happened."

Sasaki hesitated. He couldn't ignore an order from Arima. But he couldn't leave Hide here, either. His intuition told him that it was a good idea to keep Hide away from the CCG.

"...take this guy to the Chateau," he said, rising. "Leave via the other end of the alley. Don't let yourselves be seen. Get this guy home, no matter what anybody else tells you." He turned around, looking at the pair. "If Saiko and Urie ask questions, tell them I'll explain later." Seeing their dubious expressions, Sasaki continued. "Do this for me, and I'll continue to pretend I don't know what's going on between you."

Mutsuki looked away guiltily..

"You don't need to bargain with us," Shirazu muttered, crouching to hoist Hide up. "Come on, Tooru. Give me a hand, here. This guy is heavier than Saiko."

Sasaki watched them carry Hide away, and hoped they wouldn't be detected. Then he ran a hand through his hair and headed back into the convenience store. He knew Arima would want to know if he'd lost control of himself--and would remind him how close he was to becoming the bureau's target, should he be unable to regain that control. Sasaki sighed and collected his quinque from where it lay discarded on the floor. He didn't remember dropping it. Didn't know how the ghoul came to be dead and on top of him either, though he knew he'd killed her, with the aid of his ghoul side.

Sasaki picked his way through the mess of the store to where Arima stood.

 

"What do you think his connection is with Sasaki?" Shirazu pondered. They'd put Hide to bed in Mutsuki's room, and now sat together on the edge of the desk, watching him.

Mutsuki shook his head. "Beats me. But I think Sasaki referred to him as Hide. You heard it too, right?"

"Yeah." Shirazu nodded, and wrapped an arm around Mutsuki's shoulders. "The name you heard Sasaki speak in his sleep."

"Several times," Mutsuki stared at Hide for a long moment. "...He's the crepe guy. From that area near Saiko's arcade. Sasaki started acting weird after that first day we bought crepes there, remember?"

"Sasaki has always been weird."

" _Weirder,_ then." Mutsuki peered at Hide thoughtfully. "But who is he?"

"Let's look through his wallet."

"Ginshi, no..."

But Shirazu was already rummaging through the pockets of Hide's torn and stained clothes, which they had earlier peeled off him and dumped on the desk. At the time, they'd commented on how lucky Hide had been to escape a ghoul with just a few scratches.

"We're going to get into so much trouble..."

"Aren't we always?" Shirazu plucked a wallet from Hide's back pocket, and began to flip through the contents. "Coffee house stamp card, loyalty card for some fancy bakery..." Shirazu pulled out Hide's ID card and frowned. "This is fake." He tossed it to Mutsuki.

"Hideto Nakajima... How can you tell it's fake?"

"Didn't you ever have a fake ID? ...no, of course not. Cute, good little Mutsuki," Shirazu grinned fondly at him, and continued looking through the contents of Hide's wallet. "Man, there's a lot of rubbish in here..." He turned out several other receipts along with library and movie rental cards bearing the same name.

Mutsuki looked the items over, but doubted the name was genuine. "He's old enough not to need a fake ID for the usual things..." he said thoughtfully. "Chances are it's a fake for some other reason. Question is, what?"

"You trust Sasaki, right?" Shirazu began to stuff everything back into the wallet.

"Of course. But we know he hides things from us."

"Yeah... Tooru, something is going on here that's deeper than we realise, isn't it?"

Mutsuki nodded. "If Sasaki doesn't explain, we'll have to investigate for ourselves."

"Man..." Shirazu groaned. "You know I suck at that stuff. Do we have to get involved?"

"We're already involved. We don't have any choice anymore."

"So what now?"

"We wait for Sasaki to come back. And watch over this guy in the meantime."

From the bed, Hide let out a groan and opened his eyes. He saw his unfamiliar surroundings and sat up, head throbbing. This situation reminded him painfully of the time he had woken at Antique: the time he discovered that his best friend was a ghoul. But where was he now? How did he get here? The last thing he remembered, he was heading home after returning some DVDs.

Hide looked around the room blearily and noticed Mutsuki and Shirazu. "Where am I?" he asked, confused. "What happened?"

"Don't you remember?" Shirazu realised he was still holding Hide's wallet, and put it down guiltily. "I wasn't stealing anything. Just wanted to know your name."

Mutsuki walked to the edge of the bed and looked down at Hide. "Nakajima? What do you remember?"

"It's Nagachika..." Hide replied, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes. He froze, realising too late that he'd given away his real name. The name he kept hidden from people since he'd parted ways with the CCG. "...I changed it." Hide uttered quickly. "What happened to me?"

"You were attacked by a ghoul, at a convenience store."

"Some badass ghoul, by the look of it. You're lucky to get away with a few bruises," Shirazu spoke up from across the room.

Hide shook his head, then cringed as the movement made pain flare up behind his eyes. "I don't remember that. I'd taken back some movies..." He sighed and rubbed his head. frowning a little.

"Would you like some painkillers?" Mutsuki offered.

Hide nodded. "Thank you."

Mutsuki looked across at Shirazu. "Can you fetch some from the bathroom?"

"On it," Shirazu slipped out of the room.

Hide tilted his head and looked at Mutsuki in confusion. "...so what happened to me?"

"I don't know the details."

"Oh. So you can't tell me what happened?"

Mutsuki paused, looking at Hide's confused expression. "You have concussion, Nagachika. Just relax."

"I was taking some movies back. I'd just paid a late fine and left the store."

"I know." Mutsuki crouched beside the bed. "Do you remember anything else?"

"No. What happened?"

Mutsuki sighed just as Shirazu returned.

"Here you go," he handed over some pills and a glass of water. "Your painkillers," he added, when Hide looked at him blankly.

"He's got concussion," Mutsuki explained. "He doesn't remember what happened."

"Shit. Should we call a doctor?" Shirazu frowned, taking a step back towards the door. "...But Sasaki wanted to keep this quiet, didn't he?"

Mutsuki nodded. "Let's wait until he's home."

"...You guys are Sasaki's team..." Hide blinked. He hadn't recognised them at first. He supposed it was because they weren't in uniform, and he had such an awful headache. Hide took the painkillers and hoped they would help him think more clearly.

"Yeah, that's us," Shirazu stepped forward again. "He told us to bring you here."

"Any idea why he didn't send you to hospital?" Mutsuki was curious. Sasaki had been acting strangely, and this had been entirely against protocol.

Hide shrugged. "Don't know. But I'm glad he didn't..." He smiled ruefully. "I don't like hospitals. What happened, anyway?"

Mutsuki pursed his lips. It seemed he'd be answering this question several times tonight. "Sasaki will explain everything when he gets here."

"Ah..." Hide nodded, falling quiet. He looked down at himself, becoming conscious of the fact he'd been stripped to his boxers. Hide self-consciously brushed his fingers over the scar on his shoulder. Had they noticed? Of course they would have noticed.

"You had a run-in with a ghoul before, huh?" Shirazu spoke up, watching him.

"You've had a few lucky escapes..." Mutsuki realised.

Hide gave another nod. "My best friend saved me, that time."

"Good friend," Shirazu leaned against the desk.

"Yeah." Shoulders slumping, Hide bowed his head. "He was amazing. Really loyal and kind. So trustworthy. Had a way of making you feel at home. I miss him."

"Sounds a bit like Sasaki," Shirazu chuckled.

Hide covered his face with his hands and took a shaky breath. He couldn't cry in front of these people! He shouldn't even be talking like this--he didn't know if he could trust them! Sasaki might be their mentor, but they were still CCG.

Shirazu pursed his lips at Hide's behaviour, and walked across the room to Mutsuki. "Come on, Tooru," he said softly, holding out a hand. "Let's give him a minute."

"If he's concussed, we need to keep an eye on him."

"We won't go far. Come on."

Mutsuki rose from his crouching position. "We'll be outside if you need anything," he told Hide's trembling form.

Shirazu tugged on Mutsuki's hand and drew him from the room, closing the door behind them. Sometimes a guy had to cry alone.

 

Hide let the tears flow the moment he heard the door click shut. He muffled his sobs behind his hands and took deep, shaky breaths, wishing he could stop crying. It happened all too often recently. Hide's eyes stung, his mind swam as it fought to recover from the concussion, and his heart thumped uncomfortably against his ribcage. Why was he here? Those guys said that Sasaki had ordered him sent there. Was this Sasaki's room? Hide wiped his eyes and looked around. No, it couldn't be. This room wasn't like Kaneki at all. Or Sasaki. There weren't enough books. Besides, the uniform hanging on the front of the wardrobe looked far too small.

Hide sighed, more tears escaping from his eyes. He felt more alone here than ever before, and was afraid of what Sasaki wanted with him. Hide realised that he'd been so caught up in Sasaki's friendliness, that he'd forgotten Sasaki was a ghoul investigator. Hide hated the way the CCG worked. It was cruel, not only to ghouls but to humans too--and the human-ghoul hybrids they experimented to produce. Hide didn't want to end up there again. They'd taken Kaneki from him.

Pressing his hands against his face again, Hide sobbed softly. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. What he wouldn't give for everything to be okay again...

"Hide?" The bed sagged and a familiar voice spoke his name. A gentle hand touched Hide's forearm, and he lifted his head to see Sasaki's tired-looking face.

"Sasaki..." Hide sniffed, rubbing his eyes to eliminate the tears. He didn't know how long he'd been crying, but it felt like an age. "I--" Hide let out a sob.

Sasaki's arms moved of their own accord, pulling Hide into a hug. The man had looked so pitiful that Sasaki was overwhelmed by the need to comfort him. He tried to ignore where that urge had come from. He was the one who acted upon it, after all.

Hide was motionless in Sasaki's hold for a moment, but then lifted his arms and wrapped them tightly around him. "Sasaki..." He murmured, eyes closing.

Sasaki rubbed Hide's back soothingly. Hide's skin felt warm and soft, and Sasaki's fingers could barely detect the scratches he'd seen there earlier. He sensed Hide relax against him, and his heart fluttered madly. Sasaki pursed his lips, expecting a flashback. It seemed they always occurred when Hide was emotional.

But a flashback didn't come. Sasaki frowned. Had Kaneki never held Hide like this? Hide was holding onto him as though he was afraid he might disappear. It was reassuring, in a way. Encircled by Hide's strong arms, Sasaki felt the tension from earlier begin to ebb away.

After being grilled by Arima and hearing some of the findings at the scene, Sasaki had questions for Hide. Since Mutsuki believed Hide to be concussed and have no memory of the attack, Hide would have questions for him, too. But Sasaki thought that could wait a little while. He'd hold Hide a little longer. Hide needed this, and Sasaki found himself liking it more and more.

 

When Sasaki eventually pulled back, Hide's tears had dried. His eyes were bloodshot, but when a faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, the expression seemed to meet his eyes--albeit sheepishly. Sasaki liked the look in Hide's eyes when he smiled.

"Sorry, Sasaki," Hide sighed, breaking eye contact. "...Thanks. I really needed that hug."

"I thought so." Sasaki squeezed Hide's shoulder, frowning when he felt the uneven skin beneath his palm. He withdrew his hand and saw the scar, remembering the flashback. Kaneki had done that, in a moment when Kaneki had no control over what he was doing. Sasaki's frown deepened. Losing control was terrifying. If he wasn't more careful, it could prove deadly.

Sasaki touched the edges of the scar, feeling the faint outline of teeth. He knew that if he were to set his mouth there, it would make a perfect match. The thought sent a chill through him. He didn't want Hide to be hurt.

"Kaneki did it," Hide uttered quietly, awakening Sasaki to how tense the atmosphere had become between them. "When he was injured and lost control."

"You don't need to defend him," Sasaki replied gently, resting his hand over the scar. "I know he wouldn't have harmed you intentionally, Hide."

Hide's gaze was uncertain.

Sasaki gave his shoulder another squeeze and lowered his voice, knowing that Mutsuki and Shirazu would be eavesdropping outside. "I know what it's like to lose control, remember. You lose sense of everything. His feelings for you were what stopped him from going further."

"How can you know that?" Hide asked brokenly.

Sasaki paused, letting his hand drop from Hide's shoulder. "Flashbacks," he admitted in a whisper. He normally wouldn't admit to them, outside of a small circle of CCG associates. But Hide was different. It wasn't dangerous if Hide knew, though he worried his admission would raise Hide's hopes for regaining Kaneki.

"Oh..." Hide lifted his head, hopeful, but caught Sasaki's apologetic expression and already knew there was no point holding onto that hope. "A-at least some part of him still exists."

Hide looked ready to cry again. Sasaki didn't think twice about pulling him into another hug. "I'm sorry, Hide. His memories may resurface sometimes, but I won't ever be able to be him..." He drew back a little, and peered at Hide closely. "Keep this between us, won't you."

Hide nodded. "I understand," he murmured back. "It's okay, Sasaki. I-I've been researching into amnesia, and I know that in some instances, sufferers never fully regain their memory." He forced a smile. "Kaneki is gone. I accept that. Something happened to him and he was able to forget his life and start over as you."

"Yes..." Sasaki raised a brow. "That's a good way of putting it." He hadn't considered that before. Since becoming aware of himself as 'Haise Sasaki', he'd always believed what had been implied by the doctors and his superiors at the bureau: that he was a hybrid, a half, rescued by Arima from a horrendous life as a ghoul. Ken Kaneki had haunted him, an ever-present shadow in the back of his mind, an eternal threat. Sasaki had always been advised to suppress the presence, and not to pursue information on Kaneki. He hadn't even known Kaneki's name until people started mistaking him. Sasaki couldn't ignore Kaneki's existence anymore. The flashbacks wouldn't let him, and the random visions of Kaneki just when he needed that extra bit of strength proved that the ghoul wasn't so terrible, even if the thought of being a ghoul sickened him. Based on the facts about Kaneki that had filtered into Sasaki's life, Ken Kaneki hadn't been a bad person at all. If anything, Kaneki had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and his life had spiralled out of control.

Hide was right: this life was a second chance. As Sasaki, he could do the good that Kaneki never had a chance to do.

"Hide..." Sasaki began, mind returning to the present. "I'd like you to tell me as much about him as you can. But not tonight. I have some other questions for you, too, but I think it's better that you rest for now." He glanced at Hide's head injury, certain the bruise there had been a cut when he found him in the alley. But maybe he'd imagined it. Sasaki had been disoriented after that ghoul fight, and panicked when he found Hide. Small details may have slipped him by.

"Mm, okay..." Hide sighed. "Sasaki, I don't remember what happened. I think the guy with the eyepatch said you would explain?"

"Mutsuki said that, yes," Sasaki nodded. "Let's talk about it in the morning. You're concussed, but it's better that you rest for now." Hide had been awake and coherent for enough time that Sasaki was convinced the concussion wasn't serious. Still, it was better to keep an eye on him overnight, just in case. "You had a bad knock to the head, Hide. We'll watch over you tonight, so someone will be right here if you need anything."

"You want me to stay here?"

Sasaki nodded. "I'll sit with you a while. Mutsuki or Shirazu will come along later to take over, so try to sleep."

Hide smiled wryly. "I'm not going to die or anything."

"I know. But it will put my mind at rest."

"If you insist." Hide lay back on the bed, drowsy but fighting sleep. "He was like this too, you know. He looked out for people. So warm and caring..." Hide smiled faintly, reminiscing. "Always wanted to help."

"You can tell me everything tomorrow." Sasaki rested a reassuring hand over Hide's.

"Okay..."

Comforted by Sasaki's presence, Hide gave in to the warm darkness of slumber.

 

Sasaki sat there until Shirazu entered the room a few hours later.

Seeing the way Sasaki gazed at Hide's sleeping face, and the gentle manner in which Sasaki was holding Hide's hand, Shirazu raised a brow.

"Didn't think you had anyone so important to you," he uttered, curious. He and Mutsuki had tried to listen to Sasaki's conversation with Hide earlier, but their voices had become so soft that it was impossible to hear anything beyond a few words. Nothing they'd heard had made sense, at any rate, but seeing Sasaki with Hide now, Shirazu thought he understood.

"Shh, don't wake him." Sasaki carefully let Hide's hand rest upon the blanket and stood up, stretching. His back ached from sitting there for so long, and he'd nearly dozed off a couple of times. Watching Hide had given Sasaki some quiet time to think, at least. Suppressing a yawn, he trudged toward the door. "Come and get me if he wakes up," he said quietly, glancing one last time at Hide's slumbering visage. "Mutsuki will be along to take over from you in a couple of hours. Go wake him if he doesn't come."

Shirazu nodded and moved the desk chair to the side of the bed as quietly as he could, and sat down. "I'll take his shift if he doesn't wake up. He's tired."

"Wake me instead, then." Sasaki ruffled Shirazu's hair and smiled a little. Those two were cute together, when he really thought about it.

"You're tired, too."

Sasaki shrugged. "I told him I'd be here if he needs me."

Shirazu shot Sasaki a questioning look. "Who is he, Sasaki?" It seemed this Hide guy was pretty damn important.

Sasaki paused at the door and looked back. "My friend."

He left the room silently, leaving Shirazu contemplative, and with more questions than he had answers. As far as the team knew, Sasaki didn't have any friends. Sasaki didn't even seem to have much of a past! So where had this guy come from? Mutsuki was worried, and wanted to do some research, but Shirazu had persuaded him to let matters drop for the night. Mutsuki had already been proven right that 'something' was up with Sasaki relating to a man named Hide, and Shirazu now had a sneaking suspicion that the 'something' was the same as was up between Mutsuki and himself. The only thing that didn't make sense was why Sasaki was hiding it.

Tomorrow, he hoped they would get some answers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after Hide was attacked. Sasaki sends the Qs out so that he can talk to Hide alone, but security footage of the attack throws up a rather important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was only the first half of chapter 5, but then chapter 5 grew too long in comparison with the others.  
> So I cut it in half. 
> 
> Still working on this fic; it's going to be a few more chapters longer than I thought! 
> 
> Enjoy the bonus shiramu/shishimumu!

It was morning when Hide next woke, and he felt a million times better than when he'd gone to sleep. His body no longer ached and his head had stopped throbbing. Too relaxed to move, Hide lay there and took in his surroundings. The room was simply furnished, with a desk, wardrobe, drawers, and a small unit beside the bed. The walls were mostly undecorated, with the exception of a pin board above the desk, which held documents and images that looked like work. Upon the desk was a framed photograph. Hide couldn't make out any of the faces from where he lay, but the group looked like a family.

Hide closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, still reluctant to move. The soft pillow smelt faintly of soap and the blanket cocooned him warmly. Opening his eyes again, Hide looked at the figure sleeping in the chair beside the bed.

Sasaki looked even more like Kaneki as he slept. In waking moments, he was more restrained and unreachable, with his aura of strength and certainty. Asleep, Sasaki's guardedness was nonexistent, his face peaceful and innocent. Hide smiled faintly, pleased to discover that even Sasaki could wear that kind of expression.

From where he lay, Hide drank in the sight of Sasaki, wanting to remember every detail. He saw that Sasaki's dark roots had grown through even more and noticed that Sasaki's hair had been trimmed recently to remove more of the white. His gaze travelled over Sasaki's delicate eyelids, fine lashes and cute nose, resting a moment longer on Sasaki's gently-curved lips. Hide saw the edge of Sasaki's collarbone poking above the neckline of his t-shirt, and observed the sculpted lines of Sasaki's chest visible beneath the fabric: powerful, strong. He looked at Sasaki's toned arms and the capable hands folded in Sasaki's lap, and studied the pale fingers that weren't quite elegant. Hide's gaze travelled the length of Sasaki's legs, not really defined beneath the baggy pyjama bottoms, but undoubtedly as supple and well-built as the rest of him. Hide couldn't see Sasaki's feet from where he lay, so he returned his gaze to Sasaki's face instead.

He felt a familiar fluttering in his chest as he beheld Sasaki, and had to remind himself this wasn't Kaneki. Well, it was, kind of. It was Kaneki's body, albeit more muscular than Kaneki had ever been, and Kaneki's soul still inhabited it. The only difference was, Kaneki's mind had forgotten what it was to be Kaneki. This was Sasaki now...

But that wasn't really a problem, was it? Hide smiled faintly. He could separate the two of them in his mind easily, now he'd actually spent a little time with Sasaki. Kaneki was the past: a beloved, departed friend whose memory Hide would always keep close to his heart. Sasaki was the present, and maybe the future. Hide longed to be closer to him.

As Hide watched, Sasaki awoke. He blinked blearily, smiling when he met Hide's gaze and for a shocking second it was Kaneki there, tired-eyed after a sleepover, lethargic and warm and friendly. But no. It was Sasaki who was looking at him in that open, unguarded way. Not Kaneki. But that was okay.

Hide smiled back a little. "Good morning..." he murmured.

Sasaki sat up in the chair and stretched, wincing as his muscles complained at him. "Good morning, Hide. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." Hide smiled. "You look uncomfortable, though. Have you been there all night?"

Sasaki shook his head. "Shirazu was here for a few hours, but I took over from him just before four," he explained, returning the chair to its place at the desk.

Hide nodded, understanding. "...You're not too tired, are you, Sasaki?"

"I'll be fine after a hot shower," Sasaki shrugged. "You probably want a shower too, right? And breakfast, and a change of clothes..." Hide's clothes had been wrecked, he remembered. "...are you hungry? I'll cook something whilst you shower."

"Thanks. You don't have to, though. I should go home..."

Sasaki moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down. "We were going to talk about some things, remember?" he said softly. He ran his fingertips over the faint bruise on Hide's temple and brushed back a few strands of Hide's hair, not realising he was holding his breath until he next came to speak. "...I'll send the team out on some errands, so we can talk in private."

 

Mutsuki woke to find himself folded in Shirazu's arms. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he realised that daylight was streaming through the curtains.

He'd missed his shift watching over Hide.

Why hadn't Shirazu woken him?

Puzzled, Mutsuki detangled himself from Shirazu's inviting limbs and got out of bed. He threw off his nightshirt and slipped on the binder he'd dropped to the floor the night before, then borrowed a t-shirt from Shirazu's closet.

Feeling ready to face the rest of the household, Mutsuki picked up his eyepatch from the night stand and went to grab some clean underwear from his room.

Nearing it, he could hear quiet voices. Mutsuki stopped outside and listened, but the sleep-softened voices weren't clear. Straightening up, he knocked lightly on the door and went inside.

Sasaki and Hide were sitting closely on the bed. Hide was still beneath the blankets, but was sitting up, only inches from Sasaki. They both looked up when he entered, but the atmosphere in the moment that Mutsuki first saw them had been intimate.

"I came to get some fresh clothes," Mutsuki explained, walking to the closet.

"Sorry for taking up your bed," Hide smiled apologetically. "And thanks for carrying me here last night."

"It's fine. Do you remember what happened, now?" Mutsuki inquired, rummaging through the wardrobe.

"No. I was just telling Sasaki, I don't remember anything."

Mutsuki gathered his clothes under his arm and turned back to the pair on the bed. "I hope the memory returns soon." He smiled faintly at Hide and then looked to Sasaki. "Why wasn't I woken for my shift?" He regarded his mentor questioningly, wondering if Sasaki had slept in the bed with Hide. They'd certainly looked close, though it didn't quite fit for them to be lovers. Hide was too new.

"Shirazu wanted to let you sleep," Sasaki replied. "Can you wake the others? There are a bunch of jobs that need doing today."

"I'll do it once I've showered," Mutsuki nodded and left the room.

Sasaki smiled apologetically at Hide. "Sorry, you'll have to wait a little longer for that shower. At least he doesn't take long. The others might muscle in on the bathroom before you get there, mind you. There are always fights over it in the morning."

"It's okay. It's their home. I'm just a guest," Hide shrugged. "I don't mind waiting."

Sasaki touched Hide's shoulder, fingers brushing against his scar. "Then how about breakfast in bed?"

 

"Ginshi, wake up." Shirazu was roused from sleep by Mutsuki shaking him.

"Hm? Did I miss the alarm?" He yawned and opened his eyes.

"You didn't set it," Mutsuki pointed out. He had a towel around his shoulders, and his hair was damp from the shower. "Hurry and get up, though. Sasaki wants us to do chores today. I think he wants everybody out of the house."

"To be alone with his boyfriend?" Shirazu smirked and tried to tug Mutsuki onto the bed with him, but Mutsuki resisted.

"What made you think that...?" Taking hold of Shirazu's hands, Mutsuki kissed his knuckles and pulled him to sit up. "Come on, Ginshi. Urie is already in the shower. You don't want to get stuck waiting for Saiko to finish in there, do you?"

"You mean she's actually awake?!" Shirazu chuckled and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "When I went to take my shift last night, Sasaki was holding that guy's hand. He was looking at him like..." Shirazu shrugged. "He looked at Nagachika longingly, I guess. Sasaki told me that guy is his friend, but that look reminded me of the feeling I had when I looked at you, before we were like this."

Mutsuki rubbed at his hair with the towel, thoughtful. "They were close when I went to grab some fresh clothes. But it's Sasaki, remember. I don't think he knew Nagachika until he bought us those crepes a few weeks ago. It's too soon for them to be partners. Sasaki is too cautious."

"You must have seen that there's something?" Shirazu persisted. He was on his feet now, and looking for his favourite t-shirt, belatedly realising that Mutsuki was wearing it. "Attraction, I mean."

Mutsuki nodded. "I noticed it. But I don't think they have." He dumped the towel in the laundry hamper by Shirazu's door. "I still want to know what's going on between them. There's something we don't know."

"With any luck, we'll find out today." Shirazu lifted his hands to Mutsuki's shoulders and kissed him. "Mm, pity you showered without me. Showering is more fun with two people..."

Mutsuki laughed, hands coming to rest on Shirazu's hips. "I wanted to be clean, you pervert. Anyway, Sasaki would go grey if we started showering together."

"Wouldn't look out of place on him," Shirazu grinned and Mutsuki giggled.

"That's mean..." Mutsuki pressed another kiss to Shirazu's lips. "Go take your shower. Sounds like Urie just left the bathroom."

"Are you sure you don't want to shower with me?"

Mutsuki snorted and shoved him through the door. "Clean your mind whilst you're in there!"

"I'm going, I'm going..." Smirking to himself, Shirazu sauntered off to the bathroom.

 

As Sasaki cooked breakfast, he listened idly to the sounds of the others getting up, and reflected quietly upon the events of the night before.

He remembered losing control to his ghoul side, but none of the ensuing fight. It had been a little weird, this time. Normally Sasaki fought against those visions of the white-haired ghoul, but ended up losing control of himself anyway. They'd always shared a common goal: to fight and kill. The problem was always if Sasaki couldn't regain control afterwards.

This time, Sasaki had been too rushed, too panicked. The innocent-faced, black-haired young man hadn't wanted to take over. He'd wanted to help. And Sasaki had wanted that help. They had both wanted to find Hide.

In the cool light of day, Sasaki realised that this time, the ghoul hadn't taken over.

They'd joined forces.

 

Arima had asked the questions Sasaki knew he would: How did you know of these ghouls? Why did you move without backup? You lost control of yourself, didn't you?

Sasaki had reported what happened, omitting that he'd found Hide in the alley and referring to Hide's call as a tip-off from 'an acquaintance', who happened to be passing. It was as he finished his report that another investigator had approached and saluted Arima.

"Sir," she said. "We've found the CCTV footage. You've got to see this."

Arima and Sasaki followed the investigator to a small office off the back room, the entrance to which was hidden behind fallen shelving, and had earlier gone unnoticed by Sasaki.

The security tape had been grainy and the camera tilted in such a way that it didn't give a clear image of those involved. Sasaki had watched the video with an impassive expression, though inside he felt angry. The ghoul had thrown Hide around like a rag doll! Sasaki began to regret not sending Hide to hospital, as he was sure the man must have broken bones.

Arima had asked more questions after that, and made Sasaki repeat his story several times. Sasaki stuck to the same details as he'd given the first time around, and hoped Arima wouldn't guess he was withholding anything. Eventually, seemingly satisfied that Sasaki had told him everything and wasn't about to go on an out of control, murderous rampage around the city, Arima had let Sasaki go home.

After reaching the Chateau, Sasaki had found Mutsuki and Shirazu outside the bedroom door, and spoken to them briefly about how Hide was doing. They'd had questions, of course, but after being grilled by Arima, Sasaki was in no mood to answer. 'Tomorrow,' he'd told them. He knew he would have to explain himself at some point. Saiko and Urie would want to know what was going on, too. Sasaki needed to find an explanation that made his connection to Hide sound innocent. If it emerged that Hide knew Kaneki, there could be trouble ahead. His superiors didn't like him dwelling on 'Eyepatch'. Sasaki had never much liked it himself, but having met Hide, had become curious.

It had saddened him to find Hide crying. Sasaki had been tired enough that his usual restraint had fallen away, allowing him to hold and soothe the other man.

As he thought about wrapping his arms around that warm body, Sasaki smiled faintly. With the exception of Saiko, who demanded hugs on a regular basis, Sasaki never embraced anyone. But Hide had felt good in his arms, good enough that Sasaki had forgotten the importance of his questions.

Seeing Hide's scar had made Sasaki feel guilty, even though he wasn't responsible for it. Then, just as he was starting to feel bad, Hide shared a wonderful thought: that Sasaki's life was Kaneki's chance to start over. Sasaki had spent most of the night thinking about that, and discovered it helped him find peace with the existence of his ghoul half, and the past life of which he knew nothing. Though he knew it might bring him trouble, Sasaki wanted to discover more about who Kaneki had been.

Of course, contemplating these things meant Sasaki had struggled to sleep. Eventually he gave up trying, and relieved Shirazu of his watch. Shirazu had looked at him knowingly, and told him not to waste any time. Sasaki brushed it off as meaningless, sleepy babble, unsure what Shirazu meant.

After sitting in the chair, Sasaki had watched Hide sleep for a while, the fondness and familiarity he'd sensed from the start rising up in his chest. It confused him a little, as he couldn't work out if it was him or his ghoul side. Sasaki tried to figure it out, but the peaceful atmosphere of the room, and the sound of Hide's gentle, even breathing had soon lulled him into sleep, the question still floating around in his mind.

When he awoke in the morning to find Hide's warm, affectionate eyes watching him, Sasaki found the answer.

 

"Why is the crepe guy in Mutsuki's room?" Saiko appeared beside Sasaki, still in her dressing gown. She had a carton of chocolate soy milk in her hand and her hair wrapped in a towel. "Is he yours?"

Sasaki arched a brow. "Who said that?"  
"Shirazu." Saiko swigged from the carton.

Sasaki took a glass down from the cupboard and set it in front of her pointedly. "Never mind what Shirazu said about him. I'll explain when everyone is here, so hurry up and get dressed okay?"

Nodding, Saiko wandered off, ignoring the glass in favour of the carton.

Sasaki sighed and began to plate up breakfast.

 

Soon enough, the Quinx Squad were seated around the kitchen table, tucking into breakfast whilst Sasaki set out a portion on a tray for Hide.

"So who is he?" Urie asked, jerking a thumb towards the stairs.

"A friend," Sasaki leaned against the counter. "We found him unconscious last night, so Shirazu and Mutsuki brought him back here whilst I dealt with a ghoul problem."

"Was he attacked?" Saiko's eyes widened.

Sasaki hesitated, then nodded. "But he doesn't remember anything. I'll take a statement from him anyway."

Urie's eyes narrowed. He knew that Sasaki wasn't being entirely truthful. "Why didn't you send him to hospital?"

"He wasn't badly injured," Mutsuki spoke up, not liking the suspiciousness in Urie's gaze. He knew they weren't being told the full story, but if Shirazu was right about what Hide was to their mentor, Mutsuki wanted to defend him. "We only had to clean him up a little."

"Yeah, he just had a few scratches. Hit his head, though," Shirazu tapped the side of his head.

Urie grunted. "He should be seen by a doctor."

"That's up to him," Sasaki replied. "Though he doesn't much like hospitals." Sasaki didn't know where that nugget of knowledge came from, but it seemed convincing. Especially when Shirazu and Mutsuki nodded in agreement.

"He told us that last night," Shirazu swigged some coffee, leaning back in his chair. "Seemed pretty relieved we didn't take him there."

Sasaki was glad Urie was convinced by the explanation. He didn't doubt that Mutsuki and Shirazu would want to know more, especially as they knew the truth about the situation in which they had found Hide. But he wasn't completely ready to take them into his confidence--he needed to talk to Hide, first.

After handing out a long list of chores and jobs that needed doing in town, Sasaki poured a mug of fresh coffee for Hide, and carried breakfast up to him on a tray.

 

"This looks great!" Hide's eyes travelled over the rice, natto, eggs and miso soup that Sasaki had brought him. "I never eat breakfast like this at home..." Hide mixed the eggs and natto in with the rice, but paused before taking a mouthful. "Thanks for this, Sasaki," he smiled warmly at the investigator. "This is a million times better than my usual coffee and cheap melon bread."

Sasaki smiled back. "I hope you enjoy it."

Hide ate a big mouthful of food, closing his eyes as he chewed. "Mm, you're a good cook..."

Sasaki chuckled, pleased that Hide was enjoying the food. "All I did was cook the rice and warm the soup, you know. But I'm glad you like it. Take your time, okay? I'll bring you some clean clothes and a towel, so you can use the shower when you're ready."

Hide smiled and nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Sasaki. You're the best."

 

When Sasaki returned to the room a few minutes later, he found Hide tucking into the food as though he hadn't eaten for weeks.

"Man, I didn't realise how hungry I was!" Hide laughed embarrassedly when he caught sight of Sasaki watching him.

Sasaki smiled, and set the things he'd brought on the end of the bed. "Hope these fit. I guess we're around the same size. If they're no good, I'll find something else."

Hide stopped eating and took a swig of coffee. "Thanks. I guess my stuff is ruined." He glanced over at his wrecked clothes and smiled ruefully. "I was fond of that jacket, too."

"Better that it was your jacket that got torn up, and not you," Sasaki reminded him gently, touching Hide's shoulder. He couldn't stop wanting to touch the scar there, and found himself wishing that by doing so, he could heal it. Sasaki ran his fingertip around the outline of the scar, then realised that Hide was looking at him strangely, and withdrew his hand. "Anyway," he said, recovering. "The squad are going out in a few minutes, so you can shower in peace. I'll be downstairs when you're ready for that talk." Sasaki couldn't forget the talk. Besides, now he'd told those lies at breakfast, he'd have to make an eyewitness report to coincide with his story.

"Alright. I'll be down soon." Hide nodded.

"No need to rush. You were knocked unconscious yesterday, remember." Sasaki nagged gently. Giving Hide a reassuring smile, he left the room.

The moment he heard Sasaki's footsteps disappear down the hall, Hide sat back and sighed. Sasaki had brought him a huge portion of food, and his stomach ached. But Sasaki had made it for him, and it would be rude not to eat it all, wouldn't it? Hide sipped his coffee and regarded the contents of the tray reluctantly.

A weight sagged down the side of the mattress, and Hide turned his head to find Saiko kneeling beside the bed, eyes fixed on the tray.

"Hello," he said, smiling a little. "You're Saiko, aren't you?"

Saiko nodded. "You're the crepe man. You make the best crepes..." She smiled dreamily.

Hide grinned good-naturedly. "I make up my own combinations. You like cream and chocolate in yours, right? Next time, try it with strawberry and banana, too. It's really good. Kiwi and chocolate is good, too."

"I'm on a diet," Saiko effected a sigh, eyes travelling back to the food on the tray. "Maman's cooking is tasty. I'm hungry..."

Hide nudged the rice mixture and miso soup closer to her. "I'm stuffed already, but Sasaki's food is too good to waste, isn't it?" he said softly.

Saiko smiled sweetly and began to tuck in.

"Let's keep this a secret, okay?" Hide smiled. "Otherwise Sasaki might be cross with us both."

Saiko shrugged. "Maman is never cross with me. But he's disappointed sometimes," she explained, polishing off the rice in record time. She reached for the as yet untouched bowl of miso. "Maman should be happy more often. He's nice."

Hide raised a brow. From what little he knew of Saiko, he'd thought her a self-absorbed young woman, but it seemed that her attention extended at least to Sasaki. "You're fond of him, hm?"

"He's Maman." Saiko gulped the last of the miso soup, and looked hopefully at the mug of coffee in Hide's hands.

Hide chuckled and shook his head. "Sorry, I need the caffeine this morning, else I won't be able to get out of bed."

Saiko nodded understandingly. "I hate getting out of bed, too."

"Saiko, where the hell are you? Hurry up!" Urie's voice echoed along the hallway, irritated.

Sighing exasperatedly, Saiko got to her feet. "Gotta go," she huffed. "Make some crepes next time you sleep over, okay?"

Hide smiled faintly. "Yeah."

Once she had gone, Hide grabbed the clothes from the end of the bed, and found his way to the bathroom.

 

Whilst waiting for Hide, Sasaki checked his emails and found Arima had sent the security footage from the convenience store. Since Sasaki had been the one to raise the alarm about the ghoul attack, and the one who disposed of the ghouls, he had been given the responsibility of closing the case. It was work Sasaki would rather not do; his team were already on the tail of an SS-rated ghoul, which was looking as though it might lead to a bigger operation. Things had gone quiet with that case lately, however. As though someone had tipped the ghoul off that the CCG were on his tail...

"Where shall I put this?" Hide's voice interrupted Sasaki's thoughts. He stood by the couch, tray in his hands.

Sasaki looked up from his laptop. "Leave it in the kitchen. I'll clean it up later." He motioned to the kitchen area, and watched as Hide carried the tray over. His clothes fit Hide nicely. They weren't at all Hide's style - they were too plain - but the t-shirt and track pants made Hide look comfortable and inviting. Hide's skin was flushed pink from the heat of the shower, and his hair was a little damp. His casual appearance gave Sasaki a feeling of homeliness and familiarity, as if Hide had always lived there with him.

"So..." Hide sat down on the opposite end of the couch, and smiled at Sasaki with what seemed to be nervousness.

Sasaki turned toward him a little, wanting to take charge and be decisive before Hide's appearance distracted him further. "You want to know what happened last night, don't you? I can show you. I have security video right here," he touched the laptop. "Then I have some questions for you. CCG stuff, unfortunately," Sasaki smiled apologetically.

"But I don't remember anything," Hide uttered, looking worried. "I can't help."

"Sorry." Sasaki reached out to Hide's shoulder, then remembered his expression from earlier and pulled back. "I have to ask, for my report. Anyway..." He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from Hide's appealingly flushed cheeks. "Here's the video."

Together, they watched the recording. Hide saw his own head - covered with a cap, of course - along the bottom of the screen as he rushed into the convenience store. The framing of the video was off, so only his right arm and leg were visible as he walked further inside. Hide saw himself take an object from his pocket, and guessed it was his mobile phone. The clerk approached a few seconds later, and Hide's phone fell back into the frame as a kagune emerged from the woman's back.

"Shit, my phone..." he realised, watching himself dive aside, partially concealed by the kagune.

"It's at the bureau. Evidence," Sasaki replied. "I'll try to get it back for you."

Hide nodded. "Thanks. There are some important messages on it. Sentimental ones."

From Kaneki, Sasaki guessed, experiencing a faint stab of envy.

On screen, the ghoul attacked the shelving Hide had ducked behind.

Hide watched the video grimly, glad that its poor quality and the bad camera angle hid a lot of what happened. He really didn't want to see.

A moment after the ghoul had thrown him through the door of the back room, Sasaki paused the video.

"That's it. There was no security camera in the store room."

"Oh..." During the last few seconds of video, Hide had turned pale.

Sasaki turned to him, wanting to phrase his question as gently as possible, so as not to upset the man beside him.

"Hide," he said softly. "I'm sure you saw it, and there's further evidence that correlates..."

"What's that?" Hide asked, dark eyes looking scared.

Sasaki motioned to the corner of the freeze frame, where multiple kagune drifted out of the doorway. "There was a third ghoul. Any idea where he might be?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide answers Sasaki's questions, and both reveal a truth that until now has been kept hidden. Arima discovers something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hashtag better summary to be added later?

_"There was a third ghoul. Any idea where he might be?"_

Hide stared at Sasaki. "...how would I know?" he asked, defensive and unnerved. The question reminded him that Sasaki was a ghoul investigator. Dangerous. Over the past weeks, he'd made the mistake of thinking of Sasaki as ordinary. A friend. "I don't even remember what happened there. I left the rental shop, and next thing I remember is waking up here!"

"It's alright. Calm down." Sasaki rested a hand soothingly on Hide's arm. "I'm sorry. I had to ask, for the report. The back door was broken in, so the assumption is that the ghoul fled."

"Must have done," Hide nodded, pursing his lips.

"There was a lot of blood on the premises..." Sasaki regarded him thoughtfully.

"Is that a question?" Hide stared at him, heat pounding worriedly. "Sasaki, what are you trying to imply?"

Sasaki hesitated, then shook his head. "Nothing. I'm glad you weren't badly hurt."

"Me too. I really hate hospitals. All those doctors and stuff," Hide sighed. "Anything else you need to ask me, Sasaki?"

"I think that covers it," Sasaki made some notes on his laptop, then set it aside. "I didn't expect you would be able to answer anything. Based on the footage and the evidence found on the scene, I surmise that the third ghoul was already in that back room, and fought your attacker when you entered. Probably over you. As for how you ended up out in the alley... I just hope you ran away and weren't thrown out there. How are you feeling, by the way?"

"A little achy. Unsurprising, really. Being thrown across the room by that ghoul looked like it was painful."

"Can you breathe comfortably? I'm concerned you might have broken some ribs."

Hide shrugged. "I'm okay."

Sasaki observed him closely. There was worry in Hide's eyes. "Can I check you over?" He signalled to Hide's torso. "I should have done it last night."

Pursing his lips, Hide nodded and let Sasaki lift up the borrowed t-shirt. When Sasaki's warm fingers began to feel his ribcage, Hide averted his eyes. He hated being examined. It felt invasive and uncomfortable. It brought back bad memories. Even though it was Sasaki touching him, Hide wished Sasaki was touching him in some way other than this probing scrutiny.

Sasaki caught Hide's expression and stopped. "Sorry, Hide. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Hide pulled the t-shirt back down again, not meeting Sasaki's gaze.

It made Sasaki feel a little helpless. "You don't need to conceal anything from me, Hide," he murmured. "You can talk to me about anything." A memory flashed past Sasaki's eyes, the same one that had haunted him several times since meeting Hide: that room, the phone, and the sadness. Sasaki took a shuddering breath. Why was that memory so utterly heartbreaking?

"Hey?"

Sasaki snapped out of his trance to find Hide peering at him in concern. "Flashback," he whispered, nauseous.

"Do you need some water?" Hide touched Sasaki's hand tentatively.

Sasaki nodded, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He felt Hide rise, heard him pad across to the kitchen. As Sasaki tried to quell the sadness weighing down his heart, he listened to the sound of Hide opening cupboards, and then the trickle of water being poured into a glass.

Hide returned to the couch and held out the glass of water to Sasaki. "Are you going to be alright?" he asked softly.

"I'll be okay," Sasaki sighed. Opening his eyes again, he smiled faintly at Hide, accepting the glass. "If you're ready, I'd like you to tell me about Kaneki. Though I fear I may interrupt you a few times with flashbacks."

"Now?" Hide's brows rose. "Where shall I start?"

Sasaki sipped the water. "At the beginning. When you met."

Hide exhaled shakily, knowing this conversation was going to hurt. "...We met when we were kids. We lived in the same neighbourhood..." Sitting closer to Sasaki than before, voice low, Hide began to tell him everything he remembered about his best friend.

 

As Sasaki suspected, a lot of Hide's anecdotes gave him flashbacks. It was difficult to hold back the dizzy, nauseating feeling some of them gave him. As he listened to Hide talk, Sasaki realised it was as though a part of his brain didn't want to remember those things. But now Hide was talking, Sasaki didn't want him to stop. He wanted to know everything, and was prepared to listen until Hide was done.

Every so often, Hide paused in order to check that Sasaki was okay. The investigator was pale, and shuddered occasionally when flashbacks surfaced that confirmed Hide's tales.

Of course, a lot of the stories caused tears to well up in Hide's eyes. He smiled sometimes, too, when recalling particularly funny or fond memories. Hide told of his recollections with a fond tone of voice, though he began to sound sadder as he reached the point where Kaneki first spoke of Rize. By the time he told of his last phone call to Kaneki, Hide couldn't stop the tears. Even years on, it still hurt.

As he listened to how Hide had confessed his love, only for Kaneki to tell him that they shouldn't meet again, Sasaki experienced the all too familiar flashback. At long last he understood why it made him feel so heartbroken. Kaneki had never wanted to reject Hide. It had destroyed him to speak coldly to his friend. Kaneki had adored Hide, but felt that he'd only end up harming him. Hence pushing him away. Sasaki thought it sad that by trying to protect Hide from harm, Kaneki had managed to wound him so deeply.

Sasaki looked at Hide, heart aching for him. "Did you want to stop?" he asked quietly. Reaching over to the coffee table, Sasaki picked up a box of tissues and set it on Hide's lap.

Hide shook his head and wiped his eyes, shoulders shaking a little. "You wanted to know everything, right?" He looked up at Sasaki, eyes red and sore. "Are you alright to continue? The flashbacks make you sick, don't they?"

"They're manageable. Besides, they match what you say. I'm seeing his side of everything, as you tell me yours. He reached out tentatively for Hide's hand, relieved to find Hide unresisting. "It's very eye-opening, Hide."

"Ah," Hide nodded, dropping his gaze to their linked hands. Sasaki's palms were warm, and his fingers strong. Hide felt reassured.

"Do you feel ready to tell me more?" Sasaki stroked the back of Hide's hand with his thumb, marvelling that such a simple act of comfort could make those heartbroken tears dry so fast. "We can stop if you'd rather."

"I'm fine if you are," Hide sighed and squeezed Sasaki's hand. "After that last call, I kept my distance from Kaneki for a while. Figured he needed space. But then I started to look out for him again. I followed him when I could, to work out what was going on. I think he saw me, sometimes, but if he did, he never said anything. After a while, he disappeared. I think he was abducted by other ghouls. When he came back, his hair had turned completely white..." Hide looked up at Sasaki, noting the white hair that was growing through black.

"Yes..." Sasaki had just lived through the horrifying memory of the ordeal. Nothing would make him tell Hide what had happened. Hide was too warm-hearted to have to know such things. The mere images of the torture made Sasaki want to throw up; he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to talk about it.

"It was harder to keep track of him after that, anyway," Hide sighed. "I found ways to overhear the CCG's investigation into the ghoul named 'Eyepatch'. I knew it was Kaneki. That was the only way I was able to follow his movements, though I nearly got found out a few times."

Sasaki nodded, wondering if Hide was going to tell him the truth about his link to the CCG.

"The last time I saw him was during the Owl Suppression Operation..." Hide took a shaky breath. "We were underground. I'd been attacked--I don't know how I was still alive. When I found him, he was injured, too. I tried to talk to him, but couldn't express what I needed to. That or he was too far gone to fully understand. It was there that he attacked me... I already told you the rest. It's where I got that scar. After that, I thought he'd gone. Until I saw you."

Sasaki raised his free hand to Hide's shoulder, rubbing gently. Hide had started to cry softly at the end of his tale.

"Shh, it's okay," Sasaki murmured. Hide's story had given him a great many flashbacks, and Sasaki was feeling unwell as a result, but knew he'd recover in a few minutes. He wanted to comfort Hide, who sat there dejectedly, deflated now he'd finished sharing Kaneki's story. "Thank you for telling me about him, Hide."

Hide pursed his lips and nodded. "I don't mean to cry so much," he uttered brokenly. "Losing him really hurt."

"I understand." Sasaki lifted his hand from Hide's shoulder to his cheek, swiping away a tear with his thumb. He stroked Hide's hair, brushing it back from his face. "Hide, there's something I wondered about since you first spoke about Kaneki. Your recollections today, and the memories they stirred in me, confirmed it." Sasaki shifted a little closer as he spoke, soft tone making the atmosphere more intimate.

"What was it?" Hide asked tentatively, looking into Sasaki's eyes and subconsciously gripping his hand tighter.

"Kaneki... Kaneki was a good man. He really loved you a lot." Seeing Hide flinch, and more crystalline tears escape those sad eyes, Sasaki wove his fingers into Hide's hair and rested their foreheads together. "He was trying to protect you. He knew he would hurt you, but didn't realise what his rejection would do to you. Hide, he loved you so much."

Hide smiled faintly. "I know he did. I realised, when I'd stopped hurting so much." A sigh escaped Hide's lips, his warm breath brushing against Sasaki's cheeks. "Kaneki was an idiot sometimes. I was, too. I should have told him that I knew what he was, the moment I found out. That it was okay. I should have told him that I knew he loved me too."

Sasaki wiped another tear from Hide's cheek. "I can see why he did," he murmured. "I could feel his emotions," Sasaki's voice dropped lower, becoming little but a tentative whisper. "I still do."

Closing the few remaining inches of space between them, Sasaki pressed his lips to Hide's, noticing with a thudding heart the delicate way in which Hide's eyes fluttered closed, an instant before Sasaki shut his own.

Hide kissed back hesitantly, trembling beneath Sasaki's touch. He felt for Sasaki blindly, curling his fingers into the fabric of the other's shirt, mind racing. Hide hadn't kissed anyone since long before he first fell for Kaneki. He felt inexperienced and uncertain, and didn't want to put Sasaki off. It was a strange feeling to kiss Sasaki's lips, knowing that they were also Kaneki's. But it was a nice feeling, too, stirring up a quivering, tingling warmth that began in Hide's stomach and spread up through his chest and into the rest of his body. Hide's eyes stung a little from crying, but at that moment, the rest of his body felt wonderful.

When Sasaki broke the kiss, he smiled at Hide with unguarded fondness, committing Hide's flushed cheeks and shining, hope-filled eyes to memory. Kaneki might have rejected Hide, but Sasaki wouldn't. "I like you, Hide," he murmured.

Hide leaned in to leave another chaste kiss on Sasaki's lips. He smiled a little sheepishly, showing a rare and endearing shyness. "I...I like you too," he said quietly. Hide blinked, suddenly sitting up. "Oh, but not because of who you were! Because of who you are."

"I understand," Sasaki wrapped his arms around Hide. This man had fought so hard to watch over his best friend. He'd been so brave, so loyal. Hide deserved to be loved and cared for.

Hugging back, Hide nuzzled Sasaki's neck, and felt the other's head rest against his a moment later. He closed his eyes and squeezed Sasaki tight, afraid that he might disappear, or that it would turn out to be a dream. Exhausted from the morning's rollercoaster of emotions, Hide let out a sigh and relaxed, a huge weight lifting from his heart.

 

Seated in his office at the CCG headquarters, Arima loaded up the security footage from last night's ghoul attack. A team of video experts had worked until the early morning working to clean up the images, in the hope of finding clues that would lead them to the missing third ghoul.

Arima watched the improved video closely, playing it through a few times. He frowned at the speed with which the victim was hurled against a wall, and watched the scene again. Something bothered him about the video, an instinctual prickling on the back of his neck telling him something wasn't right.

Arima replayed the section of the video frame by frame, eyes tracking the movement of the customer across the screen. The man had been thrown so hard that even a single frame showed them as nothing but a blur flying through the air.

Until they hit the ground, and began to roll aside.

Arima squinted at the screen. Using the software to zoom in on that section of the image, Arima raised his brows. This was unexpected--though it explained why the customer had been able to roll out of the way after such a bone-shattering blow.

Arima hovered the cursor over the print button, then thought better of it. The fewer copies of data lying around, the easier it was to clean up.

Closing the video, he picked up the phone on his desk and dialled a number.

"Get Dr Shiba up here. Tell him to bring the Sunflower file. And send for Sasaki--immediately."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasaki tries to find out more about Hide.   
> Arima is suspicious and sends Akira to find out what Sasaki is up to.

Sasaki parted from Hide outside the Chateau, and made his way to the CCG headquarters. He was disappointed to have been interrupted that morning. Though Sasaki had expected to go to work at some point during the day, he thought he would have the morning clear. Considering how things had turned out with Hide, he was frustrated to have been summoned.

Sasaki was also worried.

The call had come only a few minutes after Hide and Sasaki finished talking. Their softly-spoken confessions were still in the air and as they embraced, and Sasaki had still been able to taste Hide on his lips. He would have happily sat there until he heard the squad return, but work had put paid to that idea. Within five minutes they were out of the door, each heading their own way.

Sasaki wondered how this change with Hide would turn out. As Sasaki, he'd never had a relationship--had never even kissed anyone until Hide. There had been some hazy flashbacks courtesy of his ghoul half earlier in the morning, but little to give Sasaki any sense of experience.

The content of the morning's flashbacks drove Sasaki to speculate on the truth about ghouls. Humans saw ghouls as hideous, murderous, conscienceless terrors--threats to humanity who needed to be exterminated. What Sasaki had learnt through the CCG backed up this idea. But although some of the flashbacks were violent and terrible, the majority of them weren't. Sasaki had seen Kaneki's life as a human and as a half-ghoul, and through Kaneki's eyes had witnessed other ghouls. With the faces now stored in his memory, Sasaki's mind was a dangerous weapon against ghouls. A little time with a CCG artist and they would have impressions of perhaps 20 as-yet unknown ghouls.

But how could he do that, after seeing how ghouls lived? They didn't all hunt. They weren't all evil. As for the need to eat flesh... Well, Sasaki knew there had to be ways to feed ghouls. The bureau had plenty of them alive and imprisoned at Cochlea.

Walking into the headquarters, Sasaki wondered why Arima had summoned him so urgently. So much had happened this morning. He'd learnt a lot about his former self, and he'd become so much closer to Hide. Sasaki smiled to himself as he thought about him. They'd kissed again before leaving the Chateau, unable to stop themselves from exploring each other's mouths a little further. Hide's smile had been radiant as he promised he would call. This time around, Sasaki knew that he would, and made a mental note to retrieve Hide's phone, so that he wouldn't have to rely on payphones to make contact. Until then, Sasaki would make extra effort to go and see him.

As he stepped into the elevator, Sasaki realised he felt happy.

 

Dr Shiba was leaving Arima's office when Sasaki got there. A file was tucked under his arm. Sasaki glanced at it as they passed each other, reading the word 'Sunflower' and guessing it related to a ghoul. He supposed if it had anything to do with him, Arima would let him know.

"Sasaki," Shiba called over his shoulder.

Sasaki looked back. "Yes?"

"Send the Quinx for their check-ups. You're due, too."

Sasaki nodded. "I'll tell the others and come down later."

Shiba turned away, heading towards the elevator. "Arima is on top form today," he called out as he rounded the corner.

 

Wondering if there was ever a time Arima wasn't on top form, Sasaki walked up to the door and knocked.

"Enter," Arima called from within. He was on his feet the moment Sasaki stepped inside, body slipping into position to fight. Arima enjoyed sparring with Sasaki. He was superior to him, of course, but the younger man was the only one who came close to Arima's level.

So naturally, Arima always greeted him with an attack.

But Sasaki wasn't at his best today, and within ten minutes Arima had him pinned to the floor.

"Try harder next time," Arima chastised, letting him up. He surveyed Sasaki's appearance, noticing the dark circles under his otherwise bright eyes, and a slight change in Sasaki's usual expression. "Don't allow yourself to become distracted."

Sasaki nodded. "You wanted to see me?"

Arima sat down at his desk and motioned to the computer screen. "The security footage from last night has been cleaned up. We were able to get a clear image of the victim."

Looking at the screen, Sasaki saw the freeze-frame of Hide on the floor, and tried to keep his expression neutral. "Have you identified him?"

"I was hoping you would be able to do that." Arima turned towards Sasaki, gaze piercing. "Two Quinx arrived at the scene whilst you were fighting. Ginshi Shirazu and Tooru Mutsuki. Nobody saw them leave."

"Really?"

"Where did they go?" Arima's tone made it clear that he expected the truth.

Sasaki sighed. "We found somebody unconscious in the back alley. Mutsuki and Shirazu took him to safety, whilst I checked the area was free of ghouls."

"And did you find anything?"

Sasaki shook his head. "No... I don't remember," he admitted. "Things were hazy after I defeated the clerk."

"As you told me last night," Arima nodded curtly. "I've asked Shiba to check your RC count. I don't want you to become a danger."

"He said I was due for a check-up. I'll go today."

"Good. Haise, why didn't you tell me about the man in the alley until now."

"I'm sorry. It must have slipped my mind."

"The team covered the alley after you had left, and found further traces of the third ghoul." Arima's eyes narrowed. "Are you certain you only saw two?"

"Just two. One at the front of the store, one in the back room," Sasaki confirmed. "Since the back door was broken down, I assume the third ghoul ran away."

"And the man you found in the alley? Did you not consider he may be a ghoul?"

Sasaki shook his head. "There was nothing ghoul about him. If I'd suspected him to be dangerous, I would not have sent him away."

"But you said everything was hazy at that time."

Sasaki nodded, lips pursed. Arima's mind really was sharp. "Not so hazy that I couldn't do my job."

"I want you to bring him in for questioning. He may provide leads into this third ghoul. We've been after this one for a while, though I believed it to be a dead case."

"I interviewed him this morning," Sasaki replied mildly. "It emerged that he'd been knocked unconscious and is suffering from concussion, so can't remember how he got there. I'll send my report by the end of the day."

"Bring him in anyway. And double-check that he isn't a ghoul."

"He was eating breakfast when I spoke to him. Far too much for a ghoul to stomach without falling ill."

Arima frowned. "Bring him in."

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

Sasaki squirmed. "He was being discharged this morning. I don't know where he lives."

"Find out. Bring him in. Don't fail me, Haise."

"I won't."

"You may go." Arima stood and walked to the window. He knew Sasaki was lying. Arima had the patience to wait and find out why.

 

Sasaki left the office worriedly. He'd wanted to avoid bringing Hide to the CCG, particularly as Hide had a connection with Kaneki, of whom Sasaki was meant to be ignorant. And there was still the fact that Hide's record on the bureau's staff database had been corrupted. That was strange, as there ought to have been a backup.

Determined to find out more before he subjected Hide to Arima's penetrating stare, Sasaki headed down to consult the CCG's archives.

 

The bureau's archives held a number of consoles where investigators could search an index for the location of files. The number of records held was huge, and the archive office was a building in its own right, with multiple floors dedicated to everything from closed cases and reports on ghoul sightings to personnel records and old evidence.

Sitting down at one of the consoles, Sasaki typed in Hide's name. The screen displayed an intranet link to the CCG's digital file, which he already knew to be corrupt. Sasaki clicked on it anyway, gaining the same error: 'Bad Data Error. File Cannot Be Retrieved.'

Returning to the list of search results, Sasaki made a note of the file reference number. He was about to log out and hunt down the file when another thought occurred to him: what about Kaneki? Where were the files on him? Would they correlate with his flashbacks, and the information from Hide?

Sasaki typed a new command into the search field: Kaneki, Ken.

No results.

Frowning, he tried another command: Eyepatch.

No results. That didn't make sense. Eyepatch had been a major target of the CCG at one stage--why were there no files? Sasaki tapped his fingertips lightly on the desk, thinking. Who had been involved in that case? Kotarou Amon? Akira Mado had spoken of him before. She was technically Sasaki's partner, but lately Sasaki found himself with the Quinx Squad more often than not, whilst Akira worked directly with Arima.

Now, what characters did Amon use for his name?

After some roundabout searching - checking lists of attending investigators during various raids in the time Amon had served - Sasaki got the spelling, and searched Amon's name.

There was a box of his papers in the archives. Sasaki noted down the reference number, logged out, and jogged upstairs to find the right room.

 

Seated at his computer, Arima was in the midst of a report when a notification popped up on the corner of the screen. His eyes narrowed and he clicked on it, then let out a sound of irritation.

"Arima?" Akira looked over from where she was sorting through a pile of paperwork.

"Archive search for Ken Kaneki," Arima replied grimly. It had taken some effort - including a lot reasoning to gain permission from Chairman Washuu - to install snooping software in the CCG's systems. Any search for particular names or keywords now sent an immediate alert to Arima's computer.

As Akira joined him at the screen, another alert popped up.

"The same user searched Eyepatch," she noted, bending to take a closer look at the details. "And the user is... Haise?"

"You were partnered to keep an eye on him." Arima pressed a few keys, watching the list of Sasaki's searches fill the screen.

"If you'd like to arrange a new mentor for the Quinx, I'd be glad to," Akira replied pointedly. "We'd get more work done." Sasaki was a quick-witted investigator, and Akira hadn't worked with him as often as she'd expected, considering they were meant to be partners. The Quinx were a promising bunch, but the fact that Sasaki mentored them was something of a nuisance.

"Not in my control," Arima answered. The software showed that Sasaki had logged off of the system, and he eyed the searches recorded. "...I knew he was lying," Arima nodded to the screen. "His first search was Hideyoshi Nagachika."

Akira raised a brow. "Nagachika? Missing presumed dead?"

"...yes..." Arima answered slowly. "Until last night. Sasaki claimed he didn't know him, but now we know otherwise."

"It's unlike him to lie..." Akira scanned the rest of the list. "Why is he interested in this stuff?" she wondered aloud. Then she saw the final search. "...and why is he looking up Amon?"

"That's what I'd like you to find out." Arima printed off the reference numbers and handed her the list. "Don't let him get away without an answer."

"I don't intend to." Lips pursed, Akira hurried off to the archives.

 

Hide lounged around at home, a steaming pot of coffee close to hand. Between yesterday night and the following morning, he felt exhausted, and rather ill. His head began to ache as soon as he tried to recollect what happened in the convenience store. Hide sighed. He'd have to accept that he wouldn't be able to remember. He wondered what it was like for Sasaki to be unable to remember things he knew had happened in the past.

Then again, Sasaki was a different person to Kaneki. Hide figured it must be really weird to have the memories of a stranger in your head.

Stretching out on the couch, Hide closed his eyes and thought about those precious moments with Sasaki this morning. His chest immediately felt warmer, and he couldn't help but smile. In the beginning, Hide had set out to meet Sasaki in the hope of getting Kaneki back. But Kaneki was gone, and Hide hadn't expected to fall for Sasaki. It wasn't just his looks, but Sasaki's entire personality that attracted Hide.

Smiling to himself, Hide reached for his phone, wondering if Sasaki had finished work yet. Hide wasn't going to work today - he felt too ill - and pondered inviting Sasaki over. They could be alone, without any chance of interruption.

But of course, his phone wasn't there. The CCG had it. Sasaki promised to try and get it back for him. Hide supposed he could walk to the payphone near the station, but didn't feel like leaving the apartment. He turned Sasaki's business card over in his hands, running his fingertips along the slightly worn edges. Hide longed to see Sasaki again. He wanted to hold him and kiss him, to explore more of Sasaki that until now he had only ever been able to observe from a distance.

But considering how he felt today, perhaps it was better to spend the evening resting. Hide couldn't skip out on work again tomorrow, and knew he wouldn't want to push the cart around if he was feeling like he was now.

Meeting Sasaki would have to wait--for now, Hide would have to satisfy himself with daydreaming.

 

Sasaki looked for Amon's archive box first. Though he was curious about Hide's ties to the CCG, he got the feeling that Hide must have a good reason not to talk about it. Amon, on the other hand, had become something of a legend, and Sasaki was curious to see if anything among his personal items provided him with any leads.

As it turned out, the first thing he gained was a nauseating flashback.

The rush of images lasted but a few seconds: fighting against Amon, tearing off Amon's arm, intense pain... Sasaki rubbed a hand over his face and stuffed the file containing Amon's photograph back into the box. He rifled through the small stack of papers, and flicked through a spiral bound notebook filled with Amon's handwriting. Most of it was case notes, or the occasional memo relating to a co-worker's birthday or squad meeting. Sasaki was about to put it back when a loose page fell to the floor.

The bottom of the page had been ripped away, but a word, traced over several times in black ink, caught Sasaki's eye.

Sasaki bent down and scooped up the page just as he heard footsteps approaching. He shoved the page into his breast pocket, and pretended to tie up his shoelace.

"Haise! I've been looking for you." Akira stepped up behind him, a file tucked under her arm.

"Did you need me?" Sasaki finished fiddling with his shoelace and straightened, turning to face her.

Akira was looking at the box, a pensive expression on her face. "I want to go over our plans for the convenience store case."

"Right. Well, I don't have any leads." Sasaki returned the notebook to the box. Before he could replace the lid, Akira reached in and took out the old personnel file - marked with a big red stamp that read, 'Missing, presumed dead'.

"You could learn from Amon," Akira said quietly, opening the file to glance at the serious-faced man in the photograph. "He was an excellent investigator. Followed his instincts."

"I hope to be like him one day," Sasaki replied.

Akira frowned. "Nobody can be like Kotarou Amon." She dropped the file back into the box and closed the lid, swiftly returning the box to its shelf. "What were you looking for, anyway?"

Sasaki shrugged noncommittally. "I had a feeling I might find a lead on Aogiri."

Akira shook her head. "I've been through his files. There's nothing." She glanced at the box and lowered her voice. "What were you _really_ looking for?"

"As I said, a lead. But all I found were memos and the odd case note." He smiled faintly. "I wish he was here, so I could ask for advice."

Akira's expression changed rapidly, from her usual passiveness to a more serious, intense gaze. "Sometimes, Haise, I think he's still alive," she murmured.

It was unusual for Akira to speak like this. Sasaki tilted his head and studied her inquisitively. "What makes you think that...?"

"Instinct." Akira took the file from under her arm and held it out to him.

Sasaki looked at the file, unable to swallow his surprise when he read the name upon it. He held onto it for a moment, conscious of Akira's eyes boring into him, and then handed it back. "Hideyoshi Nagachika? What's this for?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"Don't play dumb." Akira frowned. "I know you were looking for it. But you won't find anything useful."

"Why not?"

"So you _were_ looking. You won't find anything useful because it's empty." She opened the file to prove it. "Thing is, it shouldn't be."

"...did you know him?" Sasaki arched a brow.

Akira handed the empty file out to him. "Return this and meet me in the lobby. We'll go to lunch."

She turned on her heel and strode away.

Sasaki checked the reference number on the empty file and sought out the section it belonged. Arriving there, he found another file had been left out on a table. Sasaki walked across to collect it, guessing an investigator had rushed off without returning everything to its proper place.

Sasaki was surprised to discover that the file was his own.

He returned Hide's file absent-mindedly, wondering who had been looking at his records. Sasaki had never seen his own file - had never needed to - and found himself flicking through it. There was a fair amount of paper there, showing test results, exams, graduation certificates, and genealogy reports. Sasaki felt cold as he read it all. Asides from the things he knew to be true - the things he remembered - everything else was a lie. Had he really been born in Ishikawa? It felt wrong. _Was_ wrong. As was the record of his schools. Sasaki shut the file, knowing that he held not a folder of facts, but a work of fiction. The question was, who wrote it?

Unable to shake the uneasy feeling in his chest, Sasaki returned the file and went to find Akira.

 

"Nagachika came to the CCG as an office assistant. Marude discovered that he'd been responsible for a tip off six months prior, which had led to our raid on Aogiri and Kanou's laboratory..." Akira paused when a man entered the otherwise deserted restaurant. She sipped her tea and stirred her food, tracking the newcomer's movements from the corner of her eye. The man settled down at a table nearby, and appeared to consult the menu.

"Pity the weather is cooling off," Akira commented idly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and letting her fingers brush against her earlobe a split second longer than necessary: _someone is listening_.

"Yeah," Sasaki nodded, taking a swig of coffee. "I hoped the summer would last longer." He feigned an itch on his face, just below his eye: _I see him_. Sasaki was frustrated. He was so close to discovering something about Hide! But why were they being spied upon? Sasaki realised he'd have to take extra care for the time being. One false move, and he'd be in a lot of trouble.

"Are you sure you don't want any food?" Akira tilted her head. She already knew the answer. Sasaki didn't like eating 'on the job' as he put it.

"Akira, if you'd seen what I had for breakfast..." Sasaki chuckled. "One day you'll have to come over for breakfast. You'd be impressed at how much our household eats."

"I remember Christmas. How much turkey was it again?" Akira smiled, one eye still fixed upon the spy. He had his arms crossed on the edge of the table now. Akira's eyes narrowed.

"I don't know. Mutsuki told Urie to get 'a lot'." Sasaki chuckled.

"He sure carried a lot!" Akira laughed, watching the restaurant owner approach the spy, a little pad ready to take his order. But the spy waved him off and stood up. A moment later, he'd left the restaurant.

Sasaki sighed. "You were telling me about--"

Akira held her finger to her lips and got to her feet. "About birthday plans for Arima. I know it's a long way off, but he's smart. He'll guess something is up if we leave it until the last minute." She rounded the table, and headed to where the spy had been sitting.

"You're right," Sasaki watched her questioningly, but played along with the made-up conversation. "Though I'm not sure if he'd like a surprise party. Does he even celebrate his birthday?"

"No, but a little celebration shouldn't _bug_ him." Akira plucked something from the underside of the table and held it up so that Sasaki could see: a bug, no bigger than a fingernail, tiny light flashing to reveal that it was still recording. Somebody was still listening.

Akira crushed it under her heel.

"Have you finished here? We'd better go back to work. But this evening, we're going to go somewhere more private, and you can tell me _exactly_ what's going on." Akira's expression suggested that she wouldn't take no for an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know there isn't any SasaHide or ShiraMu interaction in this chapter, but please bear with me! There will be more!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira and Sasaki discuss Hide, Mutsuki and Shirazu do a little detective work, and some familiar faces pop up...

When Akira talked about going somewhere private, Sasaki hadn't expected that to be a nightclub. On greater reflection, he realised what a good idea it was. Nobody paid attention to other dancers, and the music was so loud that it was impossible to overhear a conversation, even if somebody was shouting.

Akira pulled Sasaki close and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning up to speak in his ear. "Marude assigned Nagachika to work with Amon and I. He was a nice guy. Damn smart underneath that innocent and friendly exterior. I always knew he was hiding something, though. We never did discover what that was."

"What happened to him?" Sasaki rested his hands awkwardly on Akira's waist, unable to find the rhythm in the music like she had.

"Same as Amon. Disappeared during the Owl Suppression Operation. Presumed dead."

"Oh..."

"He showed up at the convenience store. He was the victim. But I think he's still alive. Like Amon."

"Instinct?"

Akira's gaze swept the room. "Yes. I'm certain something is going on in the CCG. Those empty files... Something isn't right"

"Empty _files_? There are more?"

"Sixteen and counting." Seeing his surprise, Akira continued. "There may be more. Some files have disappeared altogether."

"Why has nobody noticed?"

" _I_ noticed. Nobody has reason to check. The files are mere procedure when a new member of staff joins the bureau. No-one ever references them."

"So which others are missing?"

"Amon's is half-empty. Only a brief profile and his graduation certificate. Kuroiwa's is the same, and Shinohara's."

"Shinohara? Wasn't he Suzuya's previous partner?"

"Yes," Akira confirmed. "Those three, and four others, had something in common: they all used Arata."

"And the others?"

"Files empty or incomplete. But I know the CCG have been experimenting for a long time."

"What kind of experiments?"

"Hybridisation. Mind control. Attempts to rehabilitate ghouls into human society. There's the Quinx, of course. The current squad are far from the first the CCG attempted to create."

Sasaki raised his brows, stomach knotting uncomfortably. "How do you know this?"

"My father told me bedtime stories when I was a child. I'm beginning to realise he didn't make them up."

Sasaki nodded. He'd heard plenty of tales about Kureo Mado. Akira's father had been eccentric to begin with, but became frighteningly obsessive after the loss of his wife. After his death, the bureau had discovered a huge cache of quinque among his personal effects, and a number of illegal ghoul artefacts. His papers, it was said, had mysteriously disappeared.

"So," Akira interrupted Sasaki's thoughts. "Are you ready to tell me why you were searching for Nagachika in the archives? And Eyepatch?"

Sasaki looked at her in alarm.

Akira smiled faintly. "Don't think Arima doesn't keep tabs on you, Haise."

"Is he behind the spying?" Sasaki feared trouble with his superiors. As a half-ghoul, they could make life very difficult for him. "I'm not doing anything wrong, Akira."

"He could be behind it. Just take care that you don't _start_ doing anything wrong."

"I'll be careful," Sasaki promised.

"You can begin by giving up on Eyepatch."

Sasaki frowned. "I'm not--"

"It won't do you any good to persist. Or to lie to me." Akira eyed him.

"I can't..."

"Haise." Akira took hold of Sasaki's face, looking him in the eye. "For your own safety, don't go further." Unexpectedly, she kissed his forehead. "We're being watched right now. Look a little happier to be with me, huh?"

"Spies again?" Sasaki sighed, sliding his arms a little more securely around Akira's waist and trying to look cheerful.

"Better. Yes, spies. They won't hear us above this music, but they can watch."

Akira and Sasaki fell silent for a long moment, dancing to the music as though they were an ordinary couple. Sasaki wondered how much he could trust Akira. It seemed she'd been doing her own research in the background at the bureau, and had found a lot that didn't make sense. Could he tell her about Hide? Her story had given Sasaki more questions than answers, though he didn't think he'd find those answers until he next saw Hide--if Hide would talk about his involvement with the CCG, anyway.

"...Nagachika mistook me for Ken Kaneki," Sasaki explained hesitantly. "We got talking, and I gave him my card. I thought he might be a good informant."

"He notified you of the ghoul at that convenience store, didn't he," Akira guessed.

Sasaki nodded.

"Huh. Keep away from him for a while, Haise. For his safety, as well as yours."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Akira's gaze became more serious. "Something is rotten in the core of CCG. I need someone like you to help me sniff it out. Nagachika may be part of it."

 

Despite Akira's warning, Sasaki returned home via the square where he'd met Hide, in the hope of seeing him.

Many thought Sasaki to be an obedient investigator, dedicated to the cause of eradicating ghouls and ready to do anything necessary to track the creatures down. That might have been the case when he started working at the bureau, but over recent months, Sasaki had started to think for himself. He questioned everything he was told, albeit silently. Facts were undeniable, but the more he looked at them, the more of the bureau's 'facts' lacked concrete evidence.

Sasaki knew he was being followed - would have realised even if Akira hadn't pointed it out - but wasn't going to change his routine solely to throw the stalker off his tail. That would look more suspicious than taking the same route every day.

So he glanced around the square as he passed through it, disappointed to note Hide's absence, and stopped at a vending machine near the arcade in order to buy a can of coffee.

His stalker passed him by rapidly, features indiscernible in the shadows, and disappeared into the darkness along the street.

Sasaki stood by the machine and sipped the mediocre coffee. He knew the spy would be hanging on further along the street. Sasaki wondered how long they were prepared to wait.

 

"I got those yearbooks you wanted." Shirazu dumped them in a pile on Mutsuki's desk.

Mutsuki nodded, grabbing one from the top of the pile. "Where from?"

"Bribed a kid outside the school." Shirazu pursed his lips. He hoped he could write the bribe off as expenses, and be reimbursed by the CCG.

"Tell me if you need money," Mutsuki murmured, not looking up from the book. "I'll lend you some."

"I already owe you a load..." Shirazu leaned against the desk, looking guilty. "I'm squad leader, I should set a good example."

Mutsuki snorted. "Is that what Urie said?" He lifted his head and smiled up at Shirazu. "Ignore him, Ginshi. Sasaki believes in you. And you can pay me back by looking through these yearbooks."

Shirazu smiled faintly and kissed the top of Mutsuki's head. "You're the boss right now." He grabbed one of the yearbooks and flipped it open. "So what are we looking for?"

"Sasaki's classes. His certificates didn't detail which he was in, so we've got a bit of a search on our hands..."

 

They spent over an hour going through the yearbooks. Clapping the last one shut, Shirazu tossed it onto the desk and flopped backwards onto Mutsuki's bed. "He's not in them."

"I had a feeling he wouldn't be." Mutsuki turned in the chair, resting his feet on the bed.

"So what now?"

"We've confirmed his school records have been falsified. His genealogy is looking questionable, though it will be harder to investigate that without attracting notice." Leaning back in the chair, Mutsuki gazed at the ceiling. "Sasaki's file was missing some information. I think our next move is to find it."

Shirazu sat up on his elbows. "What should be there? It's all just stuff to prove we're human and smart enough to be at the bureau, right?"

"Pretty much. The files should have basic data, medical history, educational history, genealogy and data from the academy. Grades, performance, and so on. Plus his achievements within the bureau. Like that Osmanthus medal."

"But some of that is missing."

"His medical records. And you know where we can find a copy of those."

Shirazu sat up. "Dr Shiba's office."

"Exactly." Mutsuki smiled. "We're due for a check-up. All we need is a distraction and enough time to access his files."

 

Sasaki had taken his time in finishing his coffee, and continued along his way. For the first ten minutes, it appeared that he was no longer being followed, but then he sensed it again: footsteps carefully measured to match his, the occasional pause whenever he stopped to cross a road or look into a shop window. Sasaki was becoming tired of it, and more than a little annoyed. Rounding a corner, he suddenly turned back and grabbed the next person to appear. He and his stalker locked eyes, each equally surprised.

"Hanbee?"

"Eh, good evening, Sasaki..." Hanbee Abara smiled sheepishly.

"So where's Suzuya?" Sasaki let go of the tall man's shirt and took a step back, looking around. Wherever Hanbee was, Juuzou Suzuya was never far away.

"Right here." Suzuya stepped out from behind Sasaki and waved a wallet at him. "Be on your guard!" He grinned, handing the wallet over. Sasaki realised it was his own.

"Why were you following me?" he asked, putting the wallet away and considering himself warned.

"A guy was following you. So we followed him, but he disappeared."

Suzuya's expression was innocent, but Sasaki didn't believe him.

"Could you identify him?" Sasaki arched a brow. "Somebody has been tailing me all day. I think it's relating to a case I'm working on. Could be ghoul."

"The convenience store case? That's what we're here for." Suzuya grinned. "We're working together again!"

Sasaki glanced at Hanbee. The man's anxious expression gave Sasaki the impression that there was a deeper reason for their presence. Sasaki was fairly certain that the pair had been called in from the 13th ward to keep an eye on him. For now, he'd have to play along. "Well then," he said, smiling. "Come back to the Chateau and I'll fill you in on my findings."

 

Mutsuki appeared at Dr Shiba's office the next day, a reluctant-looking Shirazu in tow.

"Is this really necessary?" Shirazu was grumbling loudly as they approached the door.

"Come on, Shirazu. Don't be a wimp." Mutsuki knocked on the door.

"Come in," Shiba closed a folder and rose to his feet as they entered. "Shirazu, are you nervous?" he asked in surprise.

"Oh. You heard?" Shirazu pouted and glanced at Mutsuki. So far, so good.

Mutsuki nudged him forward. "We're here for our checkups. He's going first."

Shiba nodded, and motioned to the examination room that adjoined his office. "Follow me. Mutsuki, you can wait here."

Mutsuki settled himself on the chair by the door, and smiled faintly at Shiba's assistant, who was working on a laptop in the corner. He drummed his fingers idly on his legs and gazed at the medical charts and certificates that decorated the walls, concentrating on the sounds coming from the next room.

"No _way_ are you sticking me with that needle!"

Shirazu's voice rose, and Mutsuki began counting down in his head.

_10...9...8...7..._

"Does it have to be so big?"

_...6...5...4..._

"Wait, wait a second! Let me--"

_...3...2..._

"It's in? Oh. I don't..."

_...1..._

"...feel so good..."

_...0._

A crash erupted from within the room. The door opened with a bang, and Shiba called to his assistant. "I need some help in here!"

Mutsuki didn't know exactly what Shirazu had planned for this distraction, but it seemed to be working--Shiba and his assistant disappeared into the examination room and closed the door.

Leaping to his feet, Mutsuki headed for the filing cabinets beside Shiba's desk. They were arranged alphabetically, and it took him mere moments to locate the right section and begin rifling through the files. Sasaki's file was easy to find, and turned out to contain a thick pile of paper. Knowing his time was limited, Mutsuki took out his smart phone and snapped photos of as many pages as he could. It was tempting to read them right there and then, but he simply didn't have the time. Judging by the sounds coming from the examination room, the distraction was nearly dealt with.

He shoved the file back into place and closed the drawer silently.

Passing the desk on his way back to the chair, he happened to glance at the folder Shiba had been looking at. It was marked 'Sunflower'. Sticking out from between the pages was a photograph of Hide, in CCG uniform.

"I'm _fine!_ " Shirazu's voice erupted through the door: a warning signal.

Mutsuki raced across the room and sat back in the chair only seconds before the door opened and Shiba stepped out.

"Is Shirazu alright?" Mutsuki asked, effecting a worried expression.

Shiba smiled. "Fainted from the sight of his own blood. He's recovering. I'll proceed with your check-up now, if you don't mind him being there."

"I don't mind. We're team mates, after all."

Shiba nodded, and led Mutsuki into the examination room.

Upon entering, Mutsuki glanced across at the bed and saw that Shirazu lay upon it, looking extra sorry for himself as Shiba's assistant cleaned up a wound on his cheek. Mutsuki arched a brow. Shirazu had excelled himself.

 

"I'm concerned about your heart rate," Shiba commented as he listened to Mutsuki's chest. "Have you been experiencing any problems?"

Mutsuki shook his head. "I've been fine. Shirazu's fainting attack surprised me, that's all."

Shiba nodded. "I'll listen again at the end of the check-up. Now, if you'd roll up your sleeve, I'd like to take a blood sample..."

The rest of the check-up went as usual, and Shiba was satisfied once Mutsuki's pulse had slowed down. Shirazu and Mutsuki left, the squad leader still feigning light-headedness and being supported by Mutsuki all the way to the elevator.

"Mission accomplished, hm?" Mutsuki smiled at his partner as they rode the lift, glad they had a moment alone. "What did you do to your face?"

"It met the edge of the trolley when I fell."

Mutsuki leaned up and kissed the band aid. "I saw some interesting things whilst you were busy fainting. You did a good job."

"I know," Shirazu grinned. "So what did you see?"

"A file with Nagachika's picture in it. The name was Sunflower."

Shirazu's brows rose. "Did you--"

The lift stopped, and more investigators got on. Shirazu saw Akira and nodded to her, gaining a nod in response. As the lift filled, Shirazu took a step closer to Mutsuki. "We'll talk about it later," he murmured.

 

In the safety of the Chateau, they reviewed the photos of Sasaki's medical file. Some of them were blurry, but what they saw was alarming.

 

Shut in his room with the door locked, Sasaki held the ripped page stolen from Amon's notepad. It was creased from where he had hurriedly shoved it out of sight, and crushed from being left in his pocket since the day before. Sasaki thought it lucky Suzuya hadn't found it, what with his penchant for pick-pocketing.

Smoothing out the creases, Sasaki scanned over the page:

_'...after previous encounter, believe Eyepatch does not want to kill. Possible link to Kanou. Believe experiments still happening. Eyepatch = Kaneki = human? Eyepatch. Does bureau--'_

The note cut off there. The rest had been carefully ripped away--too carefully for it to have been an accident. Sasaki folded the page and tucked it back into his pocket, wondering how Akira had missed it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still being followed, Sasaki cannot go to Hide--but he has to get a message to him, somehow. Whilst Hide's week goes from bad to worse, somebody steps forward offering help.

Standing before a shop window, Hide contemplated the range of second-hand smart phones on display. After several days of trying to go without his as-yet unreturned phone, Hide had reported it stolen and cancelled his contract. Sasaki had promised to get it back for him, but that hadn't happened.

Hide hadn't seen or heard from Sasaki since they'd parted at the Chateau five days ago. He'd looked out for the investigator whilst pushing the cart around the city, and kept an eye open for the Quinx Squad too, but they seemed to have disappeared.

Hide hoped they hadn't been assigned to a different ward, and wished he still had his old phone. If he had, he would have been able to call a contact and do some digging as to Sasaki's whereabouts.

Then again, if he could find a second-hand phone that he could afford, he could message Sasaki himself and find out what was up. Alright, so he could use a payphone, but what if Sasaki was busy? It was easier to send a message first. And Hide felt shy after those kisses at the Chateau. Whenever he thought of Sasaki, he felt a thrill of excitement in his chest. He wasn't quite sure what he'd say to him, next time.

Hide shoved his hands in his pocket, fingers running over the surface of the card bearing Sasaki's number. He'd memorised it now, and didn't need the card any longer, but its presence in his pocket was reassuring, as though Sasaki himself was there with him.

Sasaki's disappearance made Hide wonder if the man was avoiding him. It had happened with Kaneki--his friend's misguided attempt at keeping him safe. Hide wasn't going to let it happen with Sasaki. He was capable of looking after himself; he didn't need protection. Hide hoped Sasaki realised that. Besides, they had kissed last time, didn't that mean things would be different now?

Or did Sasaki regret it?

Hide thought that maybe he needed to reassure Sasaki that his feelings were genuine, and not based on Sasaki's looks and past. When Hide said he loved Kaneki, he meant it in the past tense. Those romantic feelings had withered, ever since Hide first saw Sasaki. He'd grieved for Kaneki, and had longed to get him back--but slowly realised that he longed to see Sasaki, too. He enjoyed Sasaki's company, became enraptured by the man's steady, deep gaze, and found himself daydreaming about kissing him, holding him, making him scream...

A woman bumped into Hide and he snapped out of his reverie, adjusting his cap further over his eyes as she hurried away without apologising for the collision. Hide huffed, watching her disappear into the crowd. Some people were so rude.

Finally walking into the shop, Hide chose a phone from the second-hand selection, and picked up a new SIM card. It wasn't the greatest phone, but it was all he'd be able to afford for the time being. Only when he went to pay for it did he realise his wallet had been stolen.

Hide remembered the rude woman outside the shop, and sighed. Things really weren't going well for him this week.

 

Akira moved at a fast pace, heels clacking along the pavement. She knew she was being tailed. It had been happening ever since the day she found Sasaki in the archives. Evidently someone at the bureau suspected her of something, too. Akira thought it tiresome. Stepping swiftly into a shopping centre, Akira made her way to the restrooms and shut herself in a cubicle. She let a few seconds pass by, listening for the sound of footsteps. She heard a pair of schoolgirls enter, giggling about a boy. But her follower had remained outside. Akira frowned. Her follower was male, then.

Reaching into her bag, she took out Hide's wallet. She'd recognised him straight away, despite the hat pulled down low over his features. Akira never forgot a face.

She opened the wallet and looked briefly at the contents, raising a brow at the name on the cards within. Hide hadn't been particularly inventive with his alias, but that was part of the trick of hiding. Pick a similar name, and hide in plain sight. More often than not, those doing the searching would pass their target by, thinking it too obvious.

Akira didn't know why Hide was hiding, though guessed the empty file had something to do with it. The fact that he _was_ hiding had become evident when Sasaki withheld information from her at the nightclub. His meeting with Hide hadn't been as innocent as he'd tried to make it sound. She knew it was because Sasaki didn't trust her on this. Somehow, she'd have to convince him.

Returning the wallet to her handbag, Akira flushed the toilet and left the cubicle, stopping to wash and dry her hands before she went on her way. To anyone watching, she was an average woman who had paused at the restroom whilst going about her business. After calling in at a convenience store to pick up a premade lunch, Akira headed back to the CCG. She'd slip the wallet to Sasaki later. He would know where to find Hide, and be able to return it to him. Akira had already confirmed what she was looking for: Hide was alive and in hiding. The contents of his wallet had given Akira a fairly good idea of the places he frequented. It wouldn't take much effort to track him down. But Akira would leave that to Sasaki--provided Sasaki would take her into his confidence.

 

Day six and no sign of Sasaki. Hide stood at the crepe cart in the square, cursing his poor luck. First his phone, then his wallet, and Sasaki too. What else was going to disappear from his life? Right now, Hide had just a handful of coins from his change jar to last him until payday. Or until his replacement credit card arrived; whichever was first. Hide hoped the credit card would hurry up, as payday was ages away.

He leaned against the wall and gazed idly across the darkening square. This was normally a good patch for selling crepes, thanks to the gaming arcade. Plenty of people left the arcade with hungry stomachs and change jingling in their pockets. A crepe was, in Hide's experience, a good way to finish off a round of computer games. He'd thought maybe it was a good way to end a hard day's ghoul-hunting too, since the Quinx had grown so fond of his crepes--even Urie, though the stoic young man feigned indifference. Hide hadn't seen them for a while. Perhaps if he finished early tonight, he'd stop at a payphone and make a quick call to Sasaki. He couldn't talk long as it would cost too much, but it would give him enough time to explain his situation.

And to tell Sasaki that he missed him.

If only they could meet...

Hide was so engrossed in Sasaki-related daydreams that he didn't notice Saiko crossing the square until she had reached the cart.

"Whipped cream and lots of chocolate sauce please, Hide." Saiko smiled cutely and held out a folded 2000 yen note.

"How about some strawberries and banana in that today?" Hide unfolded the money to put it in his cash belt. There was a slip of paper inside, and he scanned over the brief message as he took out Saiko's change.

_'Being followed. Can't come to you. You may be watched too. Stay safe. x'_

Hide pursed his lips and put the money in the cash belt, palming the note. "Did you read it?" he asked.

Saiko nodded and tucked the money into her purse. "You are," she said softly. "There's a man on the bench over there. Yes please to strawberries, but no banana thank you."

"Okay." Hide nodded, casually tucking the note into his pocket as he spoke. "Why?"

"The convenience store," Saiko peered through the side of the cart, watching the crepe cook. "Maman said they cleaned up the security video."

"Oh..." Hide pursed his lips as he filled the crepe. He hadn't thought the video would cause any problems, as it had been such poor quality. Evidently the CCG had some excellent video technicians. Someone had recognised his face, he guessed. Hide worried who it had been.

"Maman is unhappy." Saiko picked up a napkin and stuffed it into her pocket. "But he smiled after you stayed over. If everyone goes away, you can go to him, can't you?"

Hide smiled faintly and added some extra whipped cream to the crepe, then handed it over. "If he's not followed. I'm in a tough situation right now. My wallet was stolen yesterday."

Saiko's eyes widened. "That sucks!" she exclaimed. Opening her purse, she returned the change Hide had given her. "Maman won't mind. I'll tell him. You've got to buy your dinner, right?"

Hide pocketed the money and bowed in gratitude. It wouldn't go far, but it would help, if he was careful with it. "Thank you so much. Tell him I hope to see him soon, would you?"

Saiko nodded. "He really misses you." She licked whipped cream off her fingers, and picked up another napkin. "I'll tell him you miss him too, once he's alone."

Hide smiled and nodded. Saiko was more intelligent than she let on. "Get home safely, Saiko. Make sure you aren't followed, either."

Saiko took a bite of crepe and shook her head. "I won't be followed. I'm good at those games."

Happily eating her sugar-loaded treat, she wandered away.

Hide started cleaning up the cart and peered around the square. He saw it now: a tall, strong-looking figure, seated on a bench across from him. The man had his hood pulled up and held a newspaper, his face obscured by the pages.

Hide frowned, and decided it was time to move the cart on.

Once Saiko had left the square, the man on the bench stood and walked over to the cart. Hide had been packing up, but stopped when he noticed the man approaching. He felt afraid, and moved his hand closer to the knife used for preparing fruit.

The man stopped at the cart.

Up close, Hide could discern his features and let out a sigh of relief, recognising him. "You gave me a fright. Couldn't you approach like a normal person?"

"You haven't come recently."

"Sorry," Hide resumed packing up. "A lot has been happening."

"Involving Kaneki?"

"He's gone, Yomo. It's Sasaki now."

Yomo frowned, clearly troubled. "The ghoul investigator."

"I don't think he had the choice," Hide sighed. "Just like he didn't choose to become a ghoul. He doesn't remember being Kaneki. But he has flashbacks from that time. He had a lot, when I told him about Kaneki."

Yomo arched a brow. "How did it come to that?"

"You already know we started talking. Then I was stalked by some deranged ghoul at a convenience store. I was afraid, so I called him..." Hide looked ashamed. "I hate fighting, but I ended up doing so anyway."

"Part of Aogiri?"

Hide shrugged. "I don't know. I hit my head and don't remember any of it. I only know what I saw on the security tapes." His gaze became more worried. "They have my face. They know I'm alive."

"Go underground, Hide. Disappear."

"I can't. I don't want to lose Sasaki. I'm only just getting close to him. Except I can't get near him right now. He's being watched. It's probably the same deal with the CCG as before."

Yomo pursed his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You know where to come if you need help."

Hide nodded. "I think I need it. The bureau have my phone, and my wallet was stolen yesterday. I want to see Sasaki..."

"Come to :re later," Yomo turned away. "We'll find a solution."

 

Saiko returned home just as Sasaki and Hanbee were plating up dinner.

"Did you have fun?" Sasaki asked as she sat down at the table.

Saiko nodded. "I defeated Hanzou. He'll be mad tomorrow!" She smiled cheerfully.

"Who is Hanzou?" Hanbee asked, setting down the first plates.

"My enemy!" Saiko grinned.

"Eh? You have an enemy, Saiko?" Suzuya peered across the table.

"We're at war. I've been battling hard all week to topple him." Saiko poured herself some juice from the jug on the table, and took a big gulp. "He'll beat me soon, and then I can topple him again!"

"...video games?" Suzuya realised.

"She plays them even when she leaves the house," Urie joined them at the table. "She's addicted. But you're _good at those games_ , aren't you, Yonebayashi?"

Saiko had been about to protest, but when Urie echoed her parting words to Hide she blinked and nodded. "I'd teach you, but I don't think you'd _follow me_ ," she replied, pouting.

Urie shrugged. "I don't care about your games, anyway. You should focus on tracking down ghouls."

Mutsuki raised a brow at the exchange. He wondered where Urie had been this evening. Urie had left the house only a few minutes after Saiko, and returned not long before her. He thought about it during dinner. Urie had been tailing Saiko, but why? Mutsuki would have liked to think Urie was making sure their teammate was safe out on her own, but Urie never showed any fondness towards her--or the rest of the team, for that matter. Mutsuki wondered if anyone else had noticed Urie and Saiko's exchange, and whether they'd reached the same conclusion.

 

Suzuya and Hanbee left a little while after dinner, and the Quinx Squad immediately went into action: everywhere the pair had been was swept for bugs. It had been Saiko's suggestion, after they heard about the attempt to bug Sasaki and Akira's conversation.

But they hadn't found any bugs until now, and Sasaki was beginning to wonder if he'd been wrong about Suzuya coming to watch him. Still, it seemed strange for an investigator of Suzuya's calibre to be drafted in from another ward for such an insignificant case, and Sasaki noticed he wasn't being tailed anymore. Not secretly, anyway. Instead, Suzuya and Hanbee accompanied him everywhere except the bathroom. It was a relief when they went home, though he never fully relaxed until the squad confirmed the Chateau safe.

"I still don't understand why they're here," Urie scowled. "It's a nuisance. Can't you finish the case yet?"

"I know you think that I should take Hide to Arima," Sasaki stood at the edge of the kitchen area, drying a dish. "But I told you what Akira said. It's better to keep some distance between Hide and the CCG."

"Do you trust her?"

"Enough," Sasaki put the dish away and joined Urie on the couch. Saiko immediately sat between them, and flopped against Sasaki for a hug. "Did you get your crepe?" he asked, wrapping an arm around Saiko and stroking her hair.

Saiko nodded. " I gave Hide all that money, Maman. Someone stole his wallet yesterday."

"That's tough," Shirazu plonked down on the other couch and stretched his legs out. "He'll have lost his credit cards and ID along with his money. And that fancy bakery loyalty card was almost full..."

Sasaki stared at him. "How do you know what's in his wallet, Shirazu?"

Shirazu looked away guiltily. "I had to check. You told us to bring him back here, but we didn't know his name or anything. His ID was fake, anyway."

"I suppose it would be," Sasaki nodded. He saw curiosity in the faces of the squad, but didn't say any more.

"Maman, Hide is being watched, too," Saiko spoke up. "But I didn't get very close. He was a big man, and he hid behind a paper."

Sasaki frowned slightly. "Go again tomorrow, and tell me if he's still being watched. Urie, be seen with Saiko next time."

"...Urie was there too?" Saiko lifted her head, surprised. "You should have come with me."

"That would defeat the object," Urie rolled his eyes. "The point was to make it look as though you were alone. But Sasaki didn't want to risk anything happening to you if you _did_ go alone."

"Next time you'll be with me, though," Saiko tilted her head. "You'll have to eat a crepe, too. Otherwise the spy will think it's suspicious. We'll just be two Quinx stopping for a snack on the way home. But be nice to Hide okay?" She snuggled against Sasaki and inhaled deeply. "I like Hide. He smells like Maman."

Shirazu sat upright and looked at Mutsuki, who sank onto the other end of the couch.

"Hide smells like Sasaki...?" Mutsuki looked to Urie.

"I noticed it too," Urie confirmed, nodding.

"Just how close did you get?" Sasaki took on this new information with amazement--and some confusion, too. If Hide had the same scent...

Urie looked a little pleased with himself. "I got close enough to find out the man watching him was a ghoul. They knew each other, Sasaki." He eyed his mentor challengingly.

"Maman?" Saiko squeezed Sasaki and peered up at him. "We can help more if we know everything."

Sasaki looked at their expressions: Urie's fierce expectation, Shirazu's concerned patience, Mutsuki's anxious curiosity, and Saiko's hopeful honesty. They trusted him. He could trust them, too.

Sasaki took a deep breath, and - with lots of interruptions in the form of their questions - told of how he'd come to know Hide. He revealed everything: the flashbacks he suffered from, the visions of Kaneki, all Hide had told him about Kaneki, and the undeniable closeness he'd felt to Hide the moment they met.

"My personnel file is a pack of lies," he finished, sighing. "Flashbacks aside, I have no memory of what happened before I joined the bureau. I believed it all. I'd been convinced that those flashbacks were due to the implants. Shiba told me it was an issue with early Quinx operations, something that was ironed out before the four of you had the procedure. I'd been the only one whose body hadn't rejected the organs, he said. I know now that he was lying."

Mutsuki nodded. "You're Kaneki, aren't you? That's why you feel that link to Nagachika."

"I'm not Kaneki," Sasaki shook his head. "Despite the flashbacks and the hallucinations, I'm not him. Arima killed the ghoul known to us as Eyepatch, and built me from what was left."

"Can you prove it?" Urie had listened intently whilst Sasaki talked. He'd grown increasingly annoyed by the interruptions from the others, but his question felt more important. Nothing could be proven without evidence to back it up.

Sasaki shook his head. "There's no record of Eyepatch on our system, nor in the archives. I found just one note..." He showed them the fragment of Amon's handwriting. "I'd hoped for more, but there was nothing. I need to show this to Akira, if we get a moment when we aren't being watched."

Saiko finally let go of Sasaki's middle, and sat up. "We can do that. It's like a simple road-crossing computer game. It's all about patterns. You just have to watch, and determine the exact time to move."

"Your gaming habits are useful for once," Urie commented, getting to his feet. "I'm going to do some work."

"Good idea. Come on, Tooru." Shirazu jumped up and headed towards the door. "Don't wait up for us, Sasaki!"

"Bet they're going to do _couple_ things," Saiko mumbled once they had left.

Sasaki raised his brows. "You noticed too?"

"It's obvious isn't it?"

"You're very observant, aren't you..."

Saiko grinned. "I'm a gamer. We're good at that." She stood up. "Maman? Hide misses you too."

Sasaki smiled faintly. "Thanks for today, Saiko. Let's continue tomorrow. Same as before."

"Mm!" Saiko nodded and strolled off to her room.

Finding himself alone, Sasaki let out a big sigh. Today had been stressful, but letting the Quinx Squad in on everything involving Eyepatch and Hide had been helpful. They'd already guessed something was wrong, and he'd confirmed it for them. They were on his side, ready to help. Hide was doing to need it.

Sasaki rested his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes tiredly.

Black-haired Kaneki was immediately before him. They stood facing each other in a dark room with a chequered floor. Sasaki shuddered.

"Go to him," Kaneki said. "You can keep him safe."

"I can't protect him from the bureau."

Kaneki touched a hand to his chest. "I can, if you let me. And he can..." He turned his head, and the shadows lifted. White haired Kaneki sat chained to a chair, hands and feet bloodied, fingers and toes missing. He was crying.

Sasaki found himself standing before the white haired young man. He rested his hand on Kaneki's snow white hair, stroking soothingly. Sasaki knew this nightmarish scene. This is where Kaneki had been tortured by Yamori. Kaneki had undergone a big change at that time. He'd grown stronger, and braver. He'd learnt to use the ghoul within.

"You understand, don't you?" Black-haired Kaneki stood behind his white-haired self.

"I...don't know..."

White-haired Kaneki lifted his head. His tears had dried, and his digits grew back before Sasaki's eyes. "I'll protect Hide," he uttered, kakugan glowing fiercely. "Don't stop me."

"Accept me," Black-haired Kaneki stepped forward, resting his hand on the back of the chair.

"Together, we'll protect Hide." The pair spoke together, words mingling into one soft yet booming voice.

Sasaki jerked awake.

The Chateau was silent, though upon checking his watch, he found that less than an hour had passed since Urie and the others had left.

Sasaki leaned forward and rubbed his temples. The two Kanekis in his vision were adamant that he needed them. But did he, really? Whenever they came close in battle, he lost control and didn't remember a thing. Losing himself like that was dangerous, as Arima constantly reminded him. Sasaki couldn't let those two take over, not if he wanted to live. The ghoul within was a last resort, and Sasaki didn't want to risk tapping into that power if Hide was around.

The white-haired Kaneki was much stronger than his black-haired double, but he was less stable. The black-haired version was strong of heart, but less powerful. They were opposites, their only similarities being their faces and the immense love Sasaki sensed they had for Hide.

Still, Sasaki wasn't going to risk leading anyone to Hide. It was true that he could protect him, but then he'd become an enemy of the CCG himself, and Hide might get hurt. Sasaki thought it better to continue working from within the CCG, to discover why Hide was evading the bureau, and find a way to resolve the issue.

Feeling the need for some fresh air, Sasaki left the Chateau, intending to take a walk.

He knew he was being followed, but he ignored them. He wanted to be with his thoughts--his stalker would have to follow him until he was done thinking, and walking. And he had a lot to do of both.

 

The coffee shop :re was closed when Hide got there. The blinds had been drawn and the sign taken in, and it seemed that the lights were switched off, too. Hide went to the door anyway, and knocked.

"We're closed!" A voice called out.

"Let me in, Nishio." Hide replied softly.

The door opened a moment later. Nishiki Nishio looked out. "Hide?" He blinked and scratched his head, messing his already untidy hair even further. He looked as though he'd been sleeping. "What are you doing here?"

"I told him to come," Yomo stepped into view. "Nishiki, let him in."

"Hey, don't forget this guy used to work for the CCG," Nishiki grumbled, stepping aside.

"Yes, I _used_ to." Hide pursed his lips and walked into the darkened coffee shop. "We've been through this before."

"You can't blame me for being suspicious," Nishiki eyed him. "We've already had doves in here. Mind-wiped Kaneki and those monstrous halflings the CCG created."

Hide glared at him. "Sasaki came here? With the Quinx...?"

"Yeah..." Nishiki sat down at a table and looked towards the kitchen, motioning for Hide to sit. "Oi Touka! Some coffee!" He yelled.

"If you don't learn to get your own, shitty Nishiki, I'll--" Touka stopped when she caught sight of Hide. "Hide. Yomo said something happened?" She joined them at the table as Yomo brought a tray of coffee across.

"Yeah," Hide sighed and sipped the coffee set before him. "I've been seen. The bureau knows I'm alive. And I think Sasaki might be in danger, too. But I can't get to him--he's being watched. I need your help."

"He can take care of himself, can't he?" Nishiki drew his feet up onto the chair and swigged from his cup. "He's not exactly a weakling."

Touka nodded. "Isn't it better to let him be Sasaki now, Hide? Kaneki hated being a ghoul. Sasaki can live a normal life."

"He asked me to tell him about Kaneki. He has flashbacks of Kaneki's life... Kaneki is gone, Touka. We all know that." Hide smiled faintly. "I already accepted it. I like Sasaki."

Nishiki smirked. "You _like_ him?" He wiggled his brows. "Always knew you had a thing for Kaneki, but _Sasaki?_ A ghoul investigator?"

Hide glared. "So what? He isn't a bad person. He knows that ghouls aren't all bad. His flashbacks taught him that much."

"Shut up, Nishiki. Hide is right." Touka rested a hand on Hide's shoulder. "We'll help."

Yomo, who until now had merely listened and drank coffee, set his cup back on the table. "In that case, here's what we'll do... But you must be prepared, Hide. You may have to fight."

Hide looked back seriously. "I'm ready."

He hated fighting, but in that moment, Hide knew that if he had to, he'd even kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re Saiko's 'enemy', Hanzou...I headcanon that Saiko and Hanzou Urushihara/Lucifer (Hataraku Maou-sama!) are online gaming buddies and therefore the mention was needed. Because they'd totally be anonymous top-score-in-arcade-game frenemies, too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperate to find out about 'Sunflower', Shirazu and Mutsuki risk trouble by seeking out Dr. Shiba's files. Sasaki finally escapes Suzuya and Hanbee for a while, but soon finds that he needs them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter grew huge so I ended up splitting it into three...

It was extremely late when Dr Shiba finished work for the day, and he was exhausted. His day had been painfully long, beginning early in the morning with surgery, and finishing now - long after midnight - after completing some last-minute paperwork.

Yawning, he stepped out of the office and locked the door, feeling he was getting too old for all these late nights. But he'd never give it up.

As he traipsed along the hallway, he heard high heels clacking on the floor behind him.

"Doctor Shiba," Akira smiled, slowing down to meet his pace. "Working late?"

"Doctors always work late," Shiba smiled wryly. "What keeps you here at this hour?"

"I lost track of time. This case I'm working on is growing by the minute. I've been putting in extra hours."

"Ah. That would be the convenience store case?"

"Yes. So you heard?"

"Sasaki mentioned something when he came by for his check-up," Shiba nodded.

"Actually," Akira lowered her voice, stepping in closer to the doctor. "I wanted to talk to you about Haise. Do you have a moment?"

Shiba nodded and they continued along the corridor, Akira speaking too quietly for any others to hear.

From the cracked-open doorway of a nearby office, Shirazu watched them go.

"Alright," he murmured, once they had disappeared around the corner. "They're gone." He closed the door silently and turned back into the room, looking up at the heating duct.

Mutsuki peered out and gave him a thumbs up. "Come on then, let's go."

Climbing up onto a desk, Shirazu hoisted himself into the duct and pulled the vent back into place behind himself. He crawled after Mutsuki into the darkness. Shirazu didn't like the confined space, or lack of light, but Mutsuki's breathing just ahead kept him going.

After a few minutes carefully navigating the darkness, Mutsuki stopped at a vent. It took a firm shove to dislodge and he nearly dropped the metal grille to the ground, catching it just in time.

Mutsuki shuffled further along the duct. "You first, Ginshi," he murmured. He knew his partner didn't like closed-in spaces.

Shirazu dropped gratefully to the ground and went straight to the filing cabinet. "It's locked," he whispered as Mutsuki joined him. "There's got to be a key somewhere..."

"He may have taken it with him. We can't give up now..."

They began searching the room. It would have been easy enough to force the drawers open, but the damage would make their break-in obvious--not to mention it would make a lot of noise. The headquarters were mostly empty, though when they last checked, a few staff were still around. Security would be on watch, too.

Mutsuki carefully went through the paperwork on the desk, but found nothing. The file he'd seen before was gone.

Then Shirazu dislodged a little plastic box from the underside of one of the desk drawers. The noise of it hitting the ground was deafening in the silence, and the pair froze, listening for the sound of someone approaching. But there was nobody.

Shirazu reached for the box and discovered it had fallen open. Within it was a key.

He grabbed it, and hurried to the filing cabinet. The key worked, and he grinned at Mutsuki in triumph. Everyone hid a spare somewhere.

Mutsuki knew exactly where Sasaki's file was, and sure enough, the Sunflower file was there too. He placed the two files out onto the desk, and flipped on the desk lamp.

"Won't somebody notice?" Shirazu hissed.

"Shh," Mutsuki replied, opening Sasaki's file and finding the place he got to last time. "Shiba drew the blinds. If anyone comes by, they'll assume he's working late."

"And if they try the door?"

"They'll assume he forgot to switch the light off. Be quiet and help me copy this stuff."

Shirazu fell silent and took hold of the Sunflower file. Pulling out his phone, he began snapping pictures of each page. He was about halfway through when he heard the door being unlocked behind them.

There was no time to put the files back. Shirazu grabbed Mutsuki, prepared to bundle him back into the duct. He'd get his partner to safety, even if he'd be caught himself.

But the door opened before they could get there.

Akira stepped inside, equally as shocked to see them as they were to see her. She locked the door silently and strode across the room, feet making no sound--she'd swapped her usual heels for sneakers, Mutsuki realised. Akira was a little shorter than him without the heels, but that didn't make her any less fearsome. Mutsuki gulped as their superior neared, certain they were in a lot of trouble.

Akira glanced at the files open on the desk, hands on her hips. "We need to talk," she murmured. "But first, hurry up and copy those." Seeing their surprise, Akira frowned. "Do it. I'll explain later." Without waiting, she went to the filing cabinet and began rifling through the contents.

Akira wasn't as quiet as Mutsuki and Shirazu had been, and several times Shirazu looked nervously towards the door, certain that someone was going to come along and find them.

"There's nobody around," Akira said brazenly. "Security won't be up on this floor until three."

Mutsuki checked the time. "We've got twenty minutes left, then."

"Less talk, more work." Akira chided. She'd been through twelve files already, photographing them with a tiny camera. Fifteen minutes later, she closed the last file and returned it to the filing cabinet. "Time to go."

Shirazu hurriedly gathered the files and shoved them back into place. Mutsuki walked across to the heating duct and began to haul himself up.

"Where are you going?" Akira asked. "Close that vent and come with me."

Akira locked up behind them and left the keys in the lock. "He'll think he left them there himself," she explained softly. "He's exhausted. Mistakes like that happen."

Quietly, the trio headed for the lobby. Akira nodded to the security guard on their way out.

"That Arima working you hard?" the man grinned.

"Sure is. My feet are killing me," Akira laughed softly, pointing to her high heels. She had changed her footwear again once they were in the lift, and tucked the sneakers into her bag.

The security guard smiled, gaze drifting across to Shirazu and Mutsuki. "Working late too?"

"Found them dozing off in the office--Haise is going to be so worried about you guys!" she scolded the pair, who bowed their heads, shamefaced.

"A good night's sleep is in order, then," the guard chuckled.

Akira nodded. "Well, good night. Come along, you two."

Shirazu and Mutsuki went ahead, but Akira paused at the door, as if remembering something, and turned back to the guard. "Hey, I'm certain I heard voices on our way down here," she lied. "Is anyone else still about?"

"Only us security guys. Unless there's more of you dozing over your desks up there," the man smiled.

"It could be nothing," Akira effected a yawn. "Thought you should know."

"We'll check it out. Go home and get some rest, Mado."

Akira left the building and caught up with Shirazu and Mutsuki. "I can't believe you guys fell asleep!" she exclaimed loudly, sandwiching herself between them. In a lower voice, she added, "I'm being trailed whenever I leave the bureau. You know that Haise is too, right? It's related to Nagachika. But that's why you were here, isn't it?"

"Yes..." Mutsuki pursed his lips. "Sasaki told us everything. Something isn't right there."

"Those files we looked at will reveal what," Akira replied with certainty. "It's too late to talk tonight, but I'll come to the Chateau tomorrow."

"Make it when Sasaki is out. Otherwise his minders will be there." Shirazu frowned.

"Suzuya and Hanbee?" Akira arched a brow. "If they knew what was really going on, they wouldn't be so eager to stick to Haise's side." She yawned, a real one this time, and slowed her pace. "You two get home safely," she said, raising her voice again so her stalker would hear. "Pray Haise doesn't kick your ass for getting back so late."

"Sorry, Akira." Mutsuki bowed, nudging Shirazu in the ribs to follow suit.

"Yeah, goodnight."

They parted company, the Quinx heading back to the Chateau and Akira making her way back to her apartment. Despite the late hour and the knowledge that she was being followed, Akira felt safe. She always felt safe, as though someone was watching over her. But Akira put that feeling down to tiredness and an overactive imagination. It didn't make sense, otherwise.

Once home, she locked the door and padded barefoot to the balcony door. Even at this hour, the city was full of lights. Akira gazed out at it sleepily, and thought of all the data she'd have to look through tomorrow.

"One day, Amon," she murmured. "I'll figure out what really happened to you."

Yawning, she traipsed off to bed, swiftly falling into a dreamless sleep.

 

Sasaki had always been fond of Suzuya. The investigator was a little strange, granted, but his liveliness and dedication were something to be admired. Sasaki respected Hanbee, too. Despite the man's fretfulness, his loyalty to Suzuya (and ability to put up with him) was impressive.

Sasaki liked them both. But they were driving him mad.

No progress had been made on the convenience store case. That was because Sasaki was trying his hardest to stop any new information coming to light. Suzuya had asked him why he didn't just bring the customer in for questioning, and Sasaki had - quite honestly - said he didn't know where he lived. Fortunately, even with Arima having stopped in to 'help' them with the name, nothing could be found pertaining to 'Hideyoshi Nagachika'. Even the corrupted file on the database had disappeared.

"We're at a dead end." Sasaki sighed, sitting back in his chair. "No leads on that SS-rated ghoul from two months ago, either. I'm sure someone tipped him off."

"Would have been a good fight." Suzuya pouted and flopped forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "I'm hungry. Hanbee...?"

Hanbee reached into his bag and took out a bento box. He set it in front of Suzuya with a doting smile.

Suzuya grinned. "You're the best." He popped off the lid and began tucking into the prepared lunch, which Sasaki saw was all sweet food.

Sasaki caught Hanbee's eye and smiled. They were both totally guilty of pandering to Suzuya's love of sweets. Suzuya had already frisked Sasaki of pocketfuls of candy that morning.

"Lunch time already?" Akira strolled into the room. She looked exhausted, but smiled brightly and set a paper lunch bag in front of Sasaki. "Lucky I brought you this, huh?"

"A homemade lunch?" Sasaki unrolled the top of the bag.

"Almost," Akira chuckled, sitting down and opening an identical bag. "I stopped at a convenience store. No ghouls there, but they had an offer on bread."

Sasaki opened the bag and looked inside. The interior of the bag was covered in Akira's handwriting, and two objects lay beneath the food: a wallet, and a phone. Sasaki could guess who they belonged to. "Coffee and melon bread..." He smiled faintly, recalling that Hide had told him it was his usual breakfast. "Thanks, Akira. I'm not too hungry right now, so I'll save the bread for later."

"I'll eat it if you don't want it!" Suzuya raised a hand, eyeing the bag hopefully.

"I bought it for Haise," Akira said sternly. "But I thought you two might like some creme caramel. You like that right, Juuzou?"

"Yeah!" Suzuya nodded excitedly. "Hanbee, can you...?"

The tall investigator was already opening the tubs. He turned them both out perfectly onto the upturned lid of the bento box and set them in front of Suzuya.

Suzuya smiled cheerfully. "Thanks Hanbee. You're totally the best."

Akira grinned. Those two were so predictable. If their presence wasn't a hindrance, they'd be pretty cute.

Now the attention had been taken off his lunch bag, Sasaki took out the coffee and folded the bag closed again, tucking it safely into his coat pocket.

 

For only the second time since their arrival, Suzuya and Hanbee went their own way when leaving the bureau that evening. Sasaki knew it didn't mean much, only that he'd be tailed by someone else, and he'd end up doing all the cooking that evening. That was one advantage to Hanbee being there, at least: he was very capable in the kitchen.

Sasaki wandered through the streets on his ordinary route today. When accompanied by Suzuya he'd avoided the square, in case his sweets-loving colleague wanted crepes and recognised Hide. That aside, Suzuya normally had some bakery or cafe that he wanted to drop into on the way to the Chateau, so the square had been easily avoided.

Alone, Sasaki thought he'd risk it. Hide knew there was danger now. If Sasaki could at least see Hide from a distance, even if they couldn't communicate, it would alleviate some of the lonely need that had been filling his heart.

And yet Sasaki's hopes were for nothing: the square was devoid of Hide's presence.

Sasaki stopped at the vending machine and bought a coffee. Keeping to his usual solo routine shouldn't arouse any suspicion.

The spy hung back today, and Sasaki sipped his coffee at a leisurely pace, wondering how much longer he would be tailed for. Akira had advised him against confronting the stalker. 'Be the model investigator. Don't give them any reason to doubt you,' she'd said. It was frustrating, but he could do no more but follow her advice.

Sasaki binned the empty coffee can and continued on his way.

He'd been walking for five minutes when he noticed a familiar smell. It reminded him of home cooking, made his mouth water--and made him smile. Ghouls. Just what he needed to burn off a little frustration.

Sasaki strode further into the area, and within moments was surrounded by ghouls, all wearing rat masks. There were more than he had expected, especially with how tight security had been in the ward. Turning around within the circle of threatening bodies, Sasaki estimated there were around twenty--but more were emerging from the shadows at every moment. Where had they come from? The CCG had cleared out the last of the Rat Gang months ago, incarcerating their leader at Cochlea.

Now, he thought, would be a good time to let that white-haired Kaneki go on a rampage. The would-be attackers wouldn't last five minutes. But with the stalker nearby, he couldn't let himself lose control. And with the ghouls closing in, Sasaki had no time to call for backup.

He had a tough fight on his hands.

"Lose your way, dove?" One of them sneered.

"We'll take good care of you," uttered another.

Sasaki could feel white-haired Kaneki rising to claim consciousness. This couldn't happen right now, not with somebody watching him. Sasaki mentally pushed him away, and let out his kagune. "Come on then," he growled.

A ghoul leapt for him, javelin-like kagune aimed at Sasaki's head. Sasaki stepped aside, swatting his attackers away as they tried to approach. They were mostly low-ranked ghouls, but their number made the fight difficult. Sasaki cried out and stumbled when hit in the stomach, mouth a grim line as he fought back. There were too many to handle alone.

 

The Quinx sat around the Chateau, waiting for their mentor's return.

"Where's Maman?" Saiko whined. "I'm hungry..."

"We could try to cook something, I guess," Shirazu looked reluctantly towards the kitchen. It was so much easier when Sasaki cooked.

"Perhaps we could order something in?" Mutsuki opened a drawer and started rummaging for takeout leaflets. He didn't want to get stuck cooking like last time.

Urie grunted. "If you want." His stomach growled, and he crossed his arms tighter.

"Alright then, pizza?" Mutsuki pulled out a leaflet. "Or spicy chicken?"

They were arguing over it when the doorbell rang.

"Is Haise here?" Akira toed off her shoes and dumped her coat into Shirazu's hands.

He hung it up and followed her to the main room. "No, he's not home yet. We were about to order in some food."

"Pizza?" Akira eyed the leaflet in Mutsuki's hand. "Count me in."

"Are you here about yesterday?" Shirazu sat back on the couch.

Akira nodded, guessing from Saiko and Urie's blank expressions that they hadn't been filled in on the night before. "Order those pizzas and I'll start from the beginning."

 

Sasaki's heart thudded painfully against his ribcage. The attacks kept on coming; he barely had any chance to fight back, only defend himself. He was looking for an escape when another group of ghouls jumped into the fray. The Rats froze, looking at the newcomers. These ghouls were dressed in grey, hooded mantels, only their masks and gloved hands visible.

When Sasaki caught sight of them, he began to feel sick. He recognised these masks: Rabbit, Raven, Serpent. Sasaki's vision blurred as flashbacks of the ghouls raced through his mind. He distantly noticed the fourth newcomer. He didn't know this one. The ghoul's mask was painted like a yin-yang, but the spot in each half was a sunflower--one on the mouth, the other in the centre of the forehead.

Sunflower: why was that familiar...?

Sasaki snapped out of his nauseous stupor when he heard a yell.

"Bastards!" The voice came from Rabbit. "Find some other prey!" Her kagune unfurled, a beautiful wing-like ukaku. One of the Rats ran at her, and within seconds was dying on the ground.

The fight began anew.

Sasaki couldn't understand why these ghouls had joined in the fight. Nor why they chose to fight alongside him. But he knew three of them. Touka, Yomo, Nishiki. He'd seen them in Kaneki's memories. They fought well. Sunflower was weaker, as though unused to battle. New, Sasaki thought. Young.

Sasaki ached where his stomach had been hit, and he could feel his clothes becoming more heavily saturated with blood. But he pushed on. He had to. He only hoped these other ghouls wouldn't turn on him the moment the Rats were defeated. Sasaki began to feel ill. White-haired Kaneki still strove to take over, and Sasaki's resolve was weakening. There were so many enemies this time...

Suddenly, Rabbit was before him. "Hey idiot!" she hissed. "You want to see Hide or what?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Akira and the Quinx Squad await Sasaki, they discuss Akira's latest findings. Meanwhile, Sasaki and Hide finally manage a rendezvous away from spies. Sasaki is injured, and Hide knows just what he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was part of Chapter 10. Chapter 10 became stupidly long compared to previous chapters, so it is now Chapters 10-12!

Sasaki stared at Rabbit, taken aback by her words. See Hide...? What...?

Then he noticed the kagune sweeping towards him, too late to react. Rabbit tackled him to the ground. They rolled, tripping several of the Rats, and Rabbit scrambled to her feet, wrenching Sasaki's arm in her haste to drag him with her. Members of the Rat Gang chased after them, only to be stopped by the others. Sasaki raced along behind Rabbit, confused by what was happening.

 

Rabbit brought Sasaki to a rooftop not far from where he'd been ambushed.

"Where is he?" Sasaki had gone against all his training by trusting this ghoul. But the moment she mentioned Hide, everything he'd learnt had been forgotten. In that moment, Sasaki trusted her more than he trusted his own co-workers. Now he doubted his decision: Hide was nowhere to be seen.

"Wait. He'll come." Rabbit stood on the edge of the rooftop, watching the alley below. She had retracted her kagune and in the rush of their escape, and the hood of her cloak had fallen down to reveal a long wig.

"It's Touka, isn't it..." Sasaki asked, voice soft.

"Shut up," Rabbit turned away, speaking fiercely. "Don't give me a reason to kill you, Sasaki."

"So it's like that, huh?" Sasaki sank down against the edge of the rooftop, clutching his stomach. Blood still oozed out, though he could feel his body trying to heal itself. How long before the wound knitted itself back together? Sasaki pursed his lips. It had been a while since he'd been injured like this. "You threatened to kill Hide once, didn't you..." he murmured. "Are you on his side, now?"

Rabbit bowed her head. "You're hurt," she said, ignoring the question. "Don't die on him."

"I won't. It will heal."

"You're still half-ghoul, then," Rabbit straightened suddenly. "He's coming. Treat him well, Sasaki."

Rabbit sprang away just as the rooftop door flew open, and Hide ran out. His cheeks were red and his breathing laboured from running.

"Sasaki!" he cried out. "You're hurt!"

Sasaki pulled himself to his feet and stumbled towards Hide. "Just a little," he murmured, falling gratefully into Hide's arms. "I'll heal. Don't worry." Sasaki leaned against him and sighed. "It's good to see you. I missed you."

"Don't tell me not to worry," Hide chastised, carefully lowering Sasaki to sit against the wall. "Not when you've got blood pouring from a gaping wound." He sighed, wrapping an arm around him. He tilted Sasaki's chin and kissed him gently. "Idiot," he smiled fondly. "I missed you too."

"It isn't that bad," Sasaki insisted. Hide's lips were irresistible, and he leaned in to kiss him again, tugging on the collar of Hide's shirt to bring him closer. Hide's lips were soft and tasted sweet. Sasaki shifted nearer, only to hiss in pain.

Hide sat back worriedly. "You need some help, Sasaki."

"I'm fine. It's already healing. Look." Sasaki pulled open his coat and peeled back his blood-soaked shirt to reveal the wound. It looked worse than he thought it would, but the bleeding was slowing now.

Hide reached out, fingers trailing lightly around the wound. "Kagune?"

"Bikaku," Sasaki nodded. He shrugged off his coat and fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. "Help me get this shirt off. I'll bandage it."

"You'll sit still," Hide replied firmly. "I'll bandage you."

Sasaki smiled, a little light-headed. "Hide? I'm really glad you're here."

"Shh..." Hide paused in the act of unbuttoning Sasaki's shirt, and captured his lips in a slow, affectionate kiss.

Sasaki kissed back, tension slipping from his body. He sighed into the kiss, the loneliness he'd felt recently evaporating. Sasaki had really needed this. Needed Hide.

Hide pressed a kiss to Sasaki's forehead and sat back on his heels. "I'll have to rip up your shirt for bandages..."

"That was the plan..." Sasaki let out another sigh, sliding the garment down his arms and off over his hands. "We're only alone together when one of us is injured," he smiled ruefully. "That has to stop."

"We'll have to take more care next time, huh, Sasaki?" Hide smiled faintly, ripping the shirt into strips.

"Haise."

"Hm?" Hide began wrapping the makeshift bandages around Sasaki's middle. He wasn't doing it particularly well, but it was the best he could do.

"Call me Haise," Sasaki smiled. "It's only fair. I call you Hide."

Hide smiled. "Okay...Haise."

"Mm, better..." Sasaki closed his eyes, and promptly lost consciousness.

 

Akira and the Quinx Squad ate pizza as they talked. Akira had done most of the talking so far, explaining what made her look into the strange files in the first place.

"It was about a year after my father's death. I was going through some stuff he'd left at my place, and found a notebook full of his thoughts on what ghoul materials could do for the bureau. It went beyond quinque. He wrote of experiments with organ transplants, ghoul rehab, memory alteration..." she smiled regretfully. "To those that didn't know him, my father was an obsessed, eccentric man. Truth is, he was highly intelligent--and after Mother was killed, very warped." She paused, tucking her hair behind her ear and sipping her drink.

"Ghoul rehab?" Urie wrinkled his nose, hoping it didn't mean what he thought.

Akira nodded. "Attempts to turn ghouls human. They removed the kakuhou, and transplanted digestive systems and eyes. Sometimes other organs."

"Ugh..." Saiko pulled a face and put down her fifth slice of pizza. It didn't seem so appetising anymore.

"So what else did you find?" Mutsuki had given up the thought of food long ago. It was hard to eat when a gruesome conversation loomed overhead.

"That took some digging," Akira sighed. "Father's notes only told so much. He seldom wrote names, so I had to do a lot of homework to figure out who he meant. Such as the experimental Arata users. Which meant that Kouitsu Chigyou is involved, as well as Shiba."

"Doctor Chigyou? But he's..." Shirazu trailed off. Harmless? Normal? Nice? No... The few times he'd met the researcher, the man had given him chills. Shirazu shook his head. "Everyone knew about the Arata though, didn't they? We've all heard of Shinohara and Kuroiwa's bravery during the Owl Suppression Operation."

Akira nodded. "What you aren't told is that Arata can eat the wearer. They can only be deployed for a specific length of time, else the wearer is incapacitated. Amon's had great improvements, but..." She paused. Amon was out there, somewhere. "I looked briefly at his medical file this morning. It's difficult to say without seeing Chigyou's research, but if he used it for too long, it may essentially have turned him into a half-ghoul."

"Like Sasaki," Mutsuki uttered quietly, thinking of what they'd seen in Sasaki's file.

Akira sat back in her seat. "Yes. Like Haise."

"Except Sasaki is different." Shirazu hunched his shoulders. He'd read what he could of Sasaki's medical file, and not liked what he saw. "He doesn't even remember who he is anymore. An entire life was wiped out, so that some sick fuck could run an experiment. What about the people who loved this Kaneki guy? The bureau labelled him 'Eyepatch' and treated him like an animal. I know he was a ghoul and all, but he was still a person. It's fucked up!"

Mutsuki silently reached over and took hold of Shirazu's hand. Shirazu held back so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Mutsuki rested his other hand on Shirazu's arm, fingertips lightly stroking the inside of Shirazu's wrist. Shirazu sighed quietly.

"It _is_ fucked up," Akira agreed. "Haise isn't the only one to be treated this way, either. What's more, any trace of these experiments is either hidden or erased. There are whole chunks missing from personnel files, some of them are just completely empty. Of course, if anyone goes to check up on that stuff, they'll assume the files have been lost. They won't think anything of it."

"Except you did," Urie frowned. "Are you siding with ghouls?"

"Honestly, if they're a victim of these experiments, I'll side with them no matter what they are," Akira spoke up. "The world has humans and ghouls. There's good and bad in every group. The CCG has exploited too many people from both sides."

Urie looked angry. "How many?"

Akira took out a list. "This is what I've found so far. But I've yet to discover how much some of them know. Those who are still alive, at least."

Urie scanned the list and threw it back down on the table. "Nagachika. I knew it."

"Hide is on the list?" Saiko reached for it, but Mutsuki grabbed it first.

"He's there... Yukinori Shinohara, Iwao Kuroiwa, Kotarou Amon, Seidou Takizawa, Hideyoshi Nagachika, Haise Sasaki aka Ken Kaneki, Hanbee Abara...? Really? And Juuzou Suzuya?" Mutsuki's brow rose. "Kureo Mado? Your own father, Akira?"

Akira smiled tightly. "I get the feeling he was the only one who volunteered knowing the full outcome." She watched the group pass the list around. "Kakuhou implants, if you're wondering. His body rejected them."

"You mean some of these guys knew what they were in for?"

"Vaguely. Others didn't get a choice. None of them would have known the full extent of what the procedure or technology entailed."

Saiko gulped. "Is it the same for us?" she asked fearfully.

Akira shrugged. "I don't think so. The bureau went public with you four, so all the facts have been put out in the open."

"How do we find out about the others?" Shirazu spoke up. He was calmer now, but still held Mutsuki's hand tightly.

"We ask them," Akira pointed out. "Those who we _can_ ask. Some have been declared dead, though they're still around. Hideyoshi Nagachika is one of those. I'm pretty certain Amon is another..."

"Hide is definitely alive," Mutsuki nodded. "Though he might not have been if Sasaki had turned up any later to that convenience store attack."

"I think he would have survived," Akira smiled faintly. "I knew him, briefly, when he was a CCG assistant. He looked like a dumb air-head, but he was smart."

"He does look dumb..." Urie mused, eyes fixed upon Akira.

Saiko had been studying Akira's list again. "Akira? Why have you underlined Arima and the Washuus?"

Akira sat up, gaze becoming more intense. "They're an extra special case."

"What's in their files?" Shirazu couldn't imagine what could have been done to people as powerful as the Washuu family. In his eyes, they were untouchable.

"Nothing unusual. The files are complete. Perfect, in fact."

Confused, the Quinx Squad looked at each other, then back to Akira, speaking as a group.

"...what?"

 

Sasaki awoke to find himself wrapped in his coat, stretched out on hard concrete. His head was pillowed on something soft, a warm body was pressed against his side, and a strong arm was curled securely around his torso. Sasaki opened his eyes to see Hide resting up on one elbow next to him.

"You're awake," Hide murmured, relieved. "I was starting to wonder how I'd get you back home without attracting attention."

"Sorry. I didn't go crazy or anything, did I?" Sasaki hadn't experienced any hallucinations, but wanted to check, just in case.

Hide shook his head. "You passed out. You'd lost a lot of blood." He ran his fingers through Sasaki's hair, gazing down at him fondly. "How do you feel? Are you hungry?"

Sasaki nodded, pursing his lips. He'd have to get food later, at the Chateau. Blinking, Sasaki remembered the lunch bag squeezed into his pocket. He felt for it, not wanting to move too far from Hide's reassuring warmth.

"Here," Hide held out a small package. "Sit up and eat this."

They sat against the wall together, Hide sliding an arm around Sasaki's shoulders.

Sasaki unwrapped the package and raised his brows at the meat inside. "Is this...?"

"Ghoul food."

"...I eat human food, you know," Sasaki protested quietly. He eyed the meat. It smelled good. It looked nice, too. Human food never tasted right and never quite sat well in his stomach either. The RC suppressants didn't work well enough to make a good balance between easy digestion, and the ability to do his job at the bureau. Too many made him weak, too few made him 'dangerous'. When he got too hungry, Sasaki had to rely on the innocuous little packages sent to him by Arima.

"It will make you feel a thousand times better, won't it?" Hide gazed at him gently, eyes honest and kind. "Nobody was killed for this, Haise."

Sasaki recalled a flashback from the past: gathering suicide victims with Yomo. He gulped, and took a tiny, cautious bite.

It was as if his taste buds had come alive after a long time in slumber. The meat was rich and flavoursome, tender in his mouth. Sasaki ate another bite, and another, until the meat was gone. Screwing up the wrapper, he leaned against Hide and let out a sigh.

"Feel better?" Hide caressed Sasaki's hair.

Sasaki realised he was. "Yes. Thanks, Hide. But why were you carrying that around?"

"Guessed you might need it, I suppose." Hide tilted Sasaki's chin and kissed him.

Sasaki pushed him away, eyes wide.

"Did I do something wrong?" Hide looked hurt now, and confused.

"Isn't it weird?" Sasaki stared at him. "I just ate human meat, and you're happy to kiss me straight after?"

Hide shrugged. "I'm kissing you, not what you last ate." He grinned a little teasingly. "I might insist you clean your teeth if you ever eat shit, though."

"I'm not going to eat shit," Sasaki replied quietly, amazed by how laid-back Hide was with the idea of him eating humans.

"Hey, Haise. Remember what I said about Kaneki. The same applies to you. I know what you are, and it doesn't change anything." Hide smiled affectionately. "I knew what you were right from the start. Don't forget it."

"I won't," Sasaki smiled, then remembered the lunch bag. "Oh, I have something..." He dug it out of his pocket. The melon bread was rather squashed from the fight, but thankfully the phone was undamaged. Sasaki handed it over, along with the wallet.

"Hey, this was stolen the other day!" Hide stared at the wallet in surprise, and began to check its contents. "Everything is here... How did you get it back?"

"Akira gave it to me, hidden in this. I guess she stole the phone from the evidence locker, too."

Hide's eyes widened. "Akira Mado--It was her! She stole my wallet!"

"Seems Suzuya has been giving her some lessons in pick pocketing," Sasaki smiled apologetically.

"Why steal it, only to give it back...?" Hide shook his head and pocketed the wallet.

Sasaki shrugged. "To confirm it's really you? Arima sent her to spy on me after what happened in the convenience store. But it turns out she has suspected something fishy going on for a long time. You can trust her, Hide."

Nodding, Hide took the phone from its sealed plastic bag. It still booted, but wouldn't pick up a signal. Of course, Hide thought. He cancelled the contract. At least he had a halfway decent phone at his disposal now. "Thank Akira for me, won't you?"

"I will, if I can talk to her without being overheard," Sasaki sighed. "I don't think that will happen until I bring you in for questioning. Arima thinks I'm... I don't know what he thinks. But he doesn't trust me right now. I'm certain he's responsible for the spying."

Hide tensed, a look of terror in his eyes. "I can't go back there, Haise."

"I'm not going to make you go there," Sasaki pulled Hide close, hugging him. "With what Akira has been saying, I'd rather keep as much distance between the two of you as possible."

"What has she said?"

Sasaki felt for the paper bag. "She has this whole conspiracy theory that various members of the bureau have been experimented upon..." He told Hide about the empty and incomplete files as he carefully ripped open the bag along its seam. "...today, she snuck me this list inside my lunch bag. You'll find you recognise a few of the names."

Hide looked at the names scribbled untidily across the inside of the bag. "We're there...And Takizawa...Suzuya...Shinohara...Wow. There are so many."

Sasaki nodded and carefully folded the bag up, returning it to his pocket. "Hide?" He spoke softly, tugging Hide close again. "Why are you on that list? Did you--"

Hide grabbed Sasaki's collar and pressed an intense, desperate kiss to his lips, silencing him. "Please," he whispered. "Don't ask me that."

Sasaki caressed Hide's cheek, taking in his worried expression. "I won't. I'll wait until you feel ready to tell me, Hide."

Sighing, Hide rested his forehead against Sasaki's. "Haise, I don't want to think about it. Ever. My time with the CCG is done, and I'd rather forget it."

"I'm sorry." Sasaki threaded his fingers into Hide's hair, gently playing with the soft strands. "So. How did you come to know those ghouls?" he asked curiously.

"Ever the ghoul investigator, aren't you?" Hide grumbled mildly, but wrapped his arms tighter around Sasaki.

"I don't want to harm them. They're from Kaneki's--from my past, aren't they? Rabbit--that was Touka, wasn't it? And then there were Yomo and Nishiki..." Sasaki frowned slightly. "I didn't recognise the fourth guy. The yin-yang, with the flowers?"

Hide let out a sigh and nodded. "That one is new to their group. He's okay, but not much of a fighter."

"I noticed. The others had his back."

"Yeah..." Hide smiled. "They're good as a team. I'm grateful to them for tonight."

"Was all of that set up?" Sasaki lifted his head. "The Rats? The others?"

Hide shook his head. "They planned to hold back the guy following you, so you could escape. He's CCG, by the way. That gang was a coincidence. I didn't expect them to show up. Figured they had moved on after the bureau took out their leader."

"I thought so too. They've been lying low for a while..." Sasaki smiled wryly. "More work for the bureau. You saw the attack, then?"

"Yeah, I saw it. I'm glad the others came along when they did. Backup wouldn't have arrived in time." Hide squeezed him. "Sorry that you got hurt, Haise. I should have--"

"You would have been hurt too, if you'd tried to help." Sasaki kissed Hide's forehead. "I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt, Hide. Look, I know we haven't known each other long, but I really care about you. It feels like I've known you forever. It's been hell, being unable to see you. I couldn't even come and buy a crepe because I was being followed. I didn't want to risk you being recognised."

Smiling, Hide cupped Sasaki's cheek and kissed him. "I care about you too. We'll find a way around this stalker problem. Perhaps the :re crew will figure something out."

"You didn't tell me how you know them..." Sasaki smiled, rubbing noses with Hide. "It's fine if it's a secret. I'm just curious."

"No secret," Hide kissed him again, quickly. "You know that I knew Touka and Nishio from before. I tracked them down when I heard about a particular coffee shop that certain types of people were frequenting, and that's where I met Yomo, too."

"They didn't mind you being there? Didn't want to kill you or anything, for knowing what they are?"

Hide laughed, shaking his head. "No. I went there looking for Kaneki. They've helped me, from time to time."

"Like tonight..."

"Yeah. I owe them a huge debt for today. I'll have to save a life or something!"

Sasaki put a finger to Hide's lips, serious. "You shouldn't joke about that stuff, Hide."

Hide kissed Sasaki's fingertip. "Sorry." He took Sasaki's hand, intertwining their fingers. "I hope none of them got injured in that fight. They're tough, but there were a lot of Rats..."

"From what I saw, those ghouls were low-ranked. They can't measure up to your friends."

"I just feel bad. They agreed to help me, and got more than they bargained for."

Sasaki tilted his head. "Would they fight a battle they couldn't win?"

"I guess not..." Hide sighed. "You're right. They wouldn't. They'd find a way to win it."

"In that case they'll be fine." Sasaki smiled gently.

"Yeah..." Hide leaned in, brushing his lips against Sasaki's. "Absolutely fine..." He moved in for another kiss, Sasaki's supple lips parting in welcome. As he felt Sasaki's tongue nudge against his own, Hide slipped a hand beneath Sasaki's coat, caressing the bare skin underneath.

Sasaki shivered and held him closer. Hide was addictive. His kisses were like a drug. How could Kaneki have ever turned Hide away? Sasaki wouldn't. Hide had the whole of his heart. Sasaki had given it willingly.

 

"...so what you're saying is there is nothing wrong with their files." Urie frowned once Akira had finished explaining. "I don't get it."

Saiko rested her chin in one hand. She'd rediscovered her hunger during Akira's explanation, and chewed thoughtfully on a slice of pizza. "That means it's all made up, right? There's no such thing as perfect."

Akira drained her glass and nodded. "You expect something imperfect in anyone's file. A dodgy grade, an accident, a great-great grandmother of questionable heritage, and so on. Arima has none of that, nor do any of the Washuu clan. And I checked the data on _all_ the Washuu family within the CCG. As far back as our record-keeping goes.

"Let me guess, they're all perfect?" Mutsuki arched a brow.

"Completely. Not even a disciplinary--I'll bet you've all had one of those."

The group nodded.

"I've had loads, like twenty or something," Saiko volunteered. "Cos I keep sleeping in."

"Would have been more if we didn't keep covering for you," Urie muttered. Shirazu glared at him, but didn't say anything.

"See?" Akira smiled, pleased. "Everyone gets them. I can understand the lack of them when it comes to the Washuus, as they run the place. Disciplinaries disappear when you're in a position of power. Arima, though... In the past he's done ten times worse than what others have been disciplined for. But there's nothing in his file. On paper, he's the model investigator. He has no weakness."

Mutsuki blinked. "But what does all of this mean, as a whole?"

Akira began to gather the papers she'd spread out on the table. "It means that the CCG has some very questionable people in positions of power."

"They lied about a few things, so what?" Shirazu frowned slightly. "Isn't that normal, for powerful people?"

"You'd think so, but haven't you ever wondered about them?" Akira tilted her head. "Yoshiu Washuu, for example, the former head. Reports on his work suggest he was even more capable than Arima is. Have you never considered that Arima is _exceptionally_ capable?"

"Gives me the creeps," Shirazu murmured. "He's got cold eyes."

"So what's the next move?" Urie sat forward again, eyeing Akira expectantly.

Akira shook her head. "I need to find out more. There's still a lot of paperwork to look through, and I'm doing it in my own time. I want to discover who is responsible for those covert experiments. There must be others beyond Chigyou and Shiba. This is more work than two lone men can achieve."

"Sasaki should be more involved in this, before we go any further..." Shirazu looked towards the front door. "Where the hell is he, anyway?"

"It's getting pretty late," Mutsuki nodded. "Maybe he got held up at the bureau."

Akira shook her head. "We left at the same time. He was coming home."

"Hope nothing happened to Maman..."

Akira got to her feet and took her phone from her bag. "I'll call him."

"Should've done that ages ago," Urie grunted. Grabbing one last slice of pizza, he stood up and walked off to his room.

 

When the ringing of his phone cut through the peaceful silence of the rooftop, Sasaki let out a sigh and pulled back from Hide.

"Can't you ignore it?" Hide pleaded, capturing Sasaki's lips in another kiss.

Sasaki pushed him back gently. "It's work. Sorry..." Pulling Hide into a warm embrace, he answered his phone. "Sasaki."

"Haise! Where are you?" Akira almost yelled down the phone. "The Squad is worried sick!"

Hide nuzzled Sasaki's shoulder and closed his eyes, smiling a little. He could overhear Akira's words, and remembered her determination with fondness.

"I'm with Hide," Sasaki replied. He rested his chin on Hide's shoulder, gazing across the rooftop as he spoke. He noticed Hide's jacket, balled up nearby, and realised that was what his head had been resting upon earlier. Something stuck out of the pocket, and Sasaki squinted in the low light to make sense of the black, white and yellow.

"You're not being followed, are you? You could put him in danger, Haise! Hurry up and get home. We thought something had happened," Akira's cross words distracted Sasaki from the object in Hide's pocket, and he closed his eyes, sighing.

"I'm not being followed. We're safe. But I might be a while..."

"It's okay," Hide murmured. He rubbed Sasaki's back and squeezed him gently. "They're worried."

"Damn right we're worried," Akira had overheard them. "It's late, Haise, and we have things to discuss. Get home safely."

Sasaki sat back and looked at Hide. "Are you sure?" he asked softly. "I don't know when we'll meet again."

Hide smiled faintly. "We can call each other now. We'll work it out."

"Haise..." Akira's voice held a warning tone.

"I'm coming," Sasaki sighed and hung up. He looked at Hide as he pocketed his phone. "Is it really okay, Hide?"

"It's fine. We'll see each other again soon. Even if we have to use the same method as tonight... Though hopefully it won't come to that." Hide smiled, sincere yet longing.

Sasaki threaded his fingers into Hide's hair and drew him into a slow, heartfelt kiss. He wanted to remember this, just in case something happened before they met again. Drawing Hide closer, Sasaki committed to memory the warmth of Hide's body, the taste of his lips, the silkiness of his hair, and Hide's scent--a fragrance like lazy sunlit mornings, black coffee and home. Sasaki's heart skipped a beat as he took all of this in, and he kissed Hide deeper, wanting to taste more of him before they parted.

But parting was inevitable, and the kiss ended far too soon. Hide smiled at Sasaki, slightly dazed by the intensity of his kiss, pulse racing.

"I should go..." Sasaki smiled regretfully, and pressed another kiss to Hide's forehead as he rose. "They're going to have a lot of questions about what happened tonight," he realised, looking down at himself. Shirtless, with bandages over an injury that had already healed and blood spatters all over his coat, he looked a mess. Getting the coat cleaned was going to be a real nightmare.

Hide stood, and drew Sasaki into a warm hug. "Take care, Haise," he whispered.

Sasaki squeezed him. "You too, Hide." He kissed him again, unable to resist, and finally stepped back, towards the rooftop door. "I wish I could take you with me..."

"I wish I could come," Hide smiled softly, gathering his jacket from the ground. "Go on ahead, Haise. It's better that we're not seen leaving together."

"You're right." Sasaki stopped at the door and looked back. "I'll call you."

"I look forward to it."

"Well then...Goodbye."

Hide smiled. "See you soon."

 

Sasaki was halfway to the ground floor when he realised he couldn't leave Hide like that. He'd stay with him somehow. He could somehow sneak him into the Chateau without being spotted. Sasaki was sure he'd figured out where the building was watched from.

Turning around, he raced back towards the rooftop.

But he didn't meet Hide in the stairwell. Nor was Hide still out on the roof. The only sign they had been there was the squashed melon bread. Sasaki picked it up and returned it to his pocket, looking around. Where had Hide gone? How had they missed each other?

Disappointed, Sasaki retraced his steps and left the building. Wherever Hide had disappeared to, he prayed that he'd stay safe.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira and the Qs filled Sasaki in on the latest in the Empty Files case. The next day, Arima summons Sasaki and Akira to his office, and has a rather pressing question...

Upon approaching the Chateau, Sasaki steeled himself for the inevitable reprimand he'd receive from Akira. He rather hoped she would have gone home, but knew her better than that. She had sounded worried on the phone, and would wait around until he appeared. Of course, his appearance wasn't particularly reassuring.

Sasaki let himself in and toed off his shoes. He knew he ought to feel exhausted after all that had happened, but instead he felt energised. The meat from Hide had helped with that.

"Haise! You'd better be ready to tell us what's been going on!" Akira shouted across at him from the sofa. She looked tired, and as he approached, Sasaki realised Saiko had fallen asleep against her.

"Yeah, I'll tell." Sasaki flopped down on the other couch, with Shirazu and Mutsuki. He let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes. "Someone make some coffee?"

Urie looked into the room, roused by Akira's yell, and walked straight to the kitchen without saying anything. He took down the cups and began to prepare the coffee, silently adding the right amount of sugar and milk to each cup whilst the others talked.

"What happened to you?" Akira asked, calmer now that she could see Sasaki was alive. She eyed his bloody clothes and the shirt bandages around his middle.

"I was attacked by the Rat Gang on my way back. My stalker didn't deem it necessary to help."

"Rat Gang? We eradicated them..." Akira frowned.

"Well, they're back."

"Were there many?"

"Twenty or thirty? Low-ranked, but vicious." Sasaki touched his stomach, where the wound had been earlier. "I would have been outnumbered, if another group of ghouls hadn't stepped in to help."

"Ghouls helped you?" Urie sounded surprised, and more than a little disgusted. He handed out the coffees and stood by Akira's end of the couch. "They were probably trying to take you for themselves."

"No. They helped me. One of them took me to meet Hide." Sasaki sipped his coffee and closed his eyes, inhaling the warm steam. "...thanks for the coffee, Urie," he murmured.

"How can you tell you can trust them? Or him?" Urie pressed. "They might have set it all up."

"I'm still alive. Hide explained everything, and I believe him. I've no reason not to."

"Other than the fact he hangs around with ghouls?"

Sasaki gazed at Urie, expression suggesting he stop questioning him.

"Mm, not all ghouls are bad..." Saiko sat up from where she'd been using Akira as a pillow, and blinked dozily at them. "Some ghouls are good ghouls, some humans are bad humans. We're all in-between the two now aren't we?" She blinked again. "Except Akira."

"I should hope I'm a good human," Akira smiled wryly.

"You are," Mutsuki nodded. Akira had sat with him and Shirazu for some time whilst Saiko slept. She'd talked with them at length about what they'd found in Shiba's files--and about making their relationship less obvious at work. His respect and fondness for her had grown rapidly.

Sipping his coffee, Sasaki looked at the group. It was evident that a lot of important matters had been discussed in his absence. "So what did you call me back for?" he asked, still feeling the disappointment of leaving Hide so soon. "You said we had things to discuss?"

Akira nodded. "Yes. For a start, we have your medical file."

"It proves what you told us before, about Kaneki," Shirazu spoke up. "He is your past. What's on your official file is a lie, and they did some fucked up stuff to you to mould you into the life you live today." He frowned, distressed by the idea. Sasaki was such a nice person. What had happened was too messed up.

"I feared as much." Sasaki pursed his lips. "What else did you find? It's got to be more than that, right?"

"You've looked at the list I gave you, haven't you?" she asked. "I got hold of medical files for those people. All bar Nagachika. His doesn't exist."

Mutsuki felt Shirazu become tense, and nudged him surreptitiously. They'd agreed to keep quiet about Sunflower for the time being. It felt a little wrong to do so, but Sasaki had looked happy whenever he spoke to - or of - Hide. Sasaki was good to them and deserved happiness. Neither Shirazu or Mutsuki wanted to be the one to tell him the truth. They'd leave that to Hide, and hope it didn't ruin things.

"It doesn't exist?" Sasaki looked surprised.

"Not a trace of it. Any record of him has been erased."

"But why?" Sasaki ran a hand through his hair. "An experiment? What about the other names?"

"Possibly. I've not finished looking through the other files yet, but what I've found so far is just..." Akira trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Sickening," Shirazu supplied. He swigged his coffee, face serious.

Sasaki looked at the group expectantly. "Tell me what you found."

Fingers curled around her coffee cup, Akira began to talk. She revealed even more this time than when she'd spoken to the Quinx Squad earlier, and by the time she was finished, they all looked disgusted.

"Told you some humans are bad," murmured Saiko.

"Shame we can't sniff the bastards out," Urie muttered, scowling.

Akira tapped her file. "Give me time and I'll have a list of them."

"We'll help," Shirazu decided. "If that's okay with you, Sasaki."

"Just keep it in your own time," Sasaki warned. "Don't get caught working on this at the bureau. I'm under suspicion as it is, and won't be able to dig you guys out of any trouble you might get into."

Urie shrugged. "We can do it." It bothered him to agree with Shirazu, but in this case the idiot was right. This situation was too messed up, too unjust. Whilst some of those experiments had led to the existence of the Quinx, it didn't excuse the things that had been done. Those involved had signed up to eradicate ghouls, not be used as guinea pigs in freaky experiments--with the exception of Sasaki, who had never even signed up to the CCG. It had been done for him, after his memories of being Kaneki had been suppressed. Urie couldn't overlook that. He hated ghouls, and knew Sasaki was half-ghoul, but couldn't hate him. Sasaki was too kind, too _human._ Knowing his back-story only strengthened Urie's resolve to bring forth justice for all that had befallen his mentor. After all, if Sasaki fell foul of the CCG for being what he was, how would Urie ever surpass him? Urie crossed his arms, pretending he didn't see the surprise on Mutsuki's face. _Yes, Mutsuki. I agree with your precious boyfriend_ , he wanted to say. But he remained quiet. Now wasn't a good time to fall out with his squad. They needed to stick together in this.

"I'll appreciate that help," Akira said brightly, sensing the tension in the air. "Let's work on it tomorrow. It's far too late to continue now. I need to get home."

"Stay here," Sasaki offered, yawning. "I'll cook breakfast tomorrow morning."

"The guest rooms aren't made up, so you can take my room," Mutsuki offered, not voicing the fact that he hadn't slept there for any number of months.

"Thanks," Akira nodded, glad she didn't have to get home after such a long day. Now that she had said all she'd needed to say, she felt incredibly sleepy. "That's really great."

Saiko slipped to her feet, still groggy from her earlier nap, and held out a hand to Akira. "I'll show you Tooru's room. You'll want to use beauty products, right? You can use my stuff. It's got cute characters. And I'll lend you some pyjamas. They're cute too..." She rambled on as she led Akira off, oblivious to the amused look on the others faces.

Urie and Sasaki also stood, the former leaving the room without another word. Sasaki always assumed Urie felt awkward saying goodnight. He didn't have a problem with it, himself.

"Goodnight, you two," he smiled at the pair still on the couch. Mutsuki had wrapped an arm around Shirazu since the others had left. Shirazu looked fatigued and worried, but determined. He smiled back at Sasaki and nodded.

"Goodnight, Sasaki."

"Don't stay up too late."

Mutsuki shook his head. "We won't. It's just hard to move...Sleepy..."

"I'll carry you," Shirazu teased gently.

Sasaki let out a quiet laugh and left them to it.

Shirazu pulled Mutsuki closer and kissed him. "Did I do the right thing?" he wondered softly. "I spoke for the squad, without checking."

"You're the squad leader, it's your job to make those decisions," Mutsuki rested his head against Shirazu's. "Saiko didn't complain. Even Urie agreed. You already know that I'm with you no matter what."

"Yeah..."

"Hey. You're a great squad leader, Ginshi. This is something big. We're all dedicated to the task. We all want to get to the bottom of it," Mutsuki spoke softly, caressing Shirazu's face. "And we'll succeed. Nobody should have to go through what Sasaki or Nagachika have. If we bring this stuff to light, it shouldn't happen ever again."

"You're so optimistic," Shirazu kissed Mutsuki's forehead.

"Of course I am. We have a great team, and the most perfect leader."

"Perfect now, am I?" Shirazu grinned.

"Sure are..." Mutsuki yawned. "Mm. Especially if you carry me to bed."

"Lazy." Shirazu stood, scooping Mutsuki up into his arms and earning a muffled shriek of surprise from him.

Mutsuki wrapped his arms around Shirazu's shoulders and grinned smugly. "This is great," he murmured as Shirazu carried him towards the bedroom.

" _You're_ great."

"No, you..."

"Idiot."

"Dork."

They grinned at each other, sharing another kiss at the bedroom door. No matter how late it was, no matter how tired they were, there was always time for one more kiss.

 

Morning came, and with it came Suzuya, with Hanbee in tow. Sasaki wasn't surprised in the slightest, and had already begun to cook extra by the time they arrived.

When Akira joined them at the table, clad in Saiko's pyjamas - a t-shirt and shorts combo featuring cutesy videogame characters - Suzuya stared at her in surprise.

"Akira, you stayed over with Sasaki?"

Beside Suzuya, Hanbee said nothing, but blushed a little.

"Yeah. I came by last night and it got pretty late..." Akira smiled tiredly as she sat down. "The others must be tired too, huh?" She looked around, noticing the absence of the Quinx Squad. "All still in bed? These young ones don't have the stamina..."

"Actually, Urie got up and left earlier," Sasaki spoke up. "He said something about going to train."

"He's dedicated!" Suzuya took a candy from his pocket and unwrapped it slowly. "I want to train with Tooru again sometime. He's getting good!"

Sasaki nodded in agreement. Suzuya had a good influence on Mutsuki's combat skills. "Tell him, when he wakes up."

"Mm!" Suzuya popped the candy into his mouth, and eyed the food Sasaki was preparing.

 

Gradually the rest of the household woke and drifted down to the kitchen for breakfast. After eating, they headed off to work.

"By the way," Suzuya remembered as they neared the headquarters. "Arima said he wanted to see us all immediately."

"...right..." Sasaki nodded, a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know why Suzuya couldn't have said anything earlier, especially since they'd all taken their time in getting to the bureau. Arima had probably been there since the crack of dawn.

As they entered the lobby, Sasaki began to feel tense. This morning, he'd not taken his usual dose of RC suppressants. Dr Shiba had always emphasised the importance of taking them, but having talked to Hide and done a little thinking, Sasaki wondered what would happen if he _didn't._ Would it really be so bad? So far, it hadn't been. Sasaki felt better for not taking them--more alert, more awake, more alive.

Of course, he hadn't considered the detectors at the entrance of the building. If his RC level was too high, he'd set off the alarms. Shiba would guess what was up in moments, and give him an extra strength dose of the suppressants. Sasaki's levels had always been high in the first place, and he knew Arima kept a close watch on him as a result--even closer since the convenience store attack.

But the alarms stayed silent: Sasaki's body was not quite ghoul enough to be considered 'ghoul'. Yet.

 

"The convenience store case is dead. File your final reports by this evening."

Arima's words caught everyone by surprise. Lately he'd been so adamant about solving it that Sasaki didn't know why Arima hadn't taken up the investigation himself.

"Why now?" Akira demanded. "We've wasted a hell of a lot of time on this, Arima."

"I believed you'd have had better results," Arima replied disdainfully. "You can write everything in your report."

"I guess we're going back to the thirteenth ward," Suzuya picked the threads at his lip and rocked on his feet. "I wanted to eat dinner with Haise again..."

Arima cleared his throat. "Suzuya, Abara, you may go. Sasaki and Mado, I want to speak with you further."

Akira and Sasaki glanced at each other whilst their fellow investigators left the room. Arima's expression was unreadable.

"Now," Arima steepled his fingers, gazing at the pair. "A very serious matter has come to my attention. Are you aware that it's against CCG policy to allow personal relations with colleagues?"

Sasaki blinked, taken aback. "Yes...?" he tried. He hoped this wasn't going to cause trouble for Shirazu and Mutsuki. He'd deny their relationship, if necessary.

Akira frowned. "What are you saying, Arima?"

Arima eyed her, expression cold. "I'm asking if the two of you are involved in a sexual relationship."

"Me? With _Haise?_ " Akira snorted scornfully.

"Well, are you?"

"God no. I don't know where you got that information from, but it's wrong."

"We're colleagues," Sasaki spoke up. "It's natural that we work closely, but we aren't romantically involved."

Arima looked from one to the other for a long moment. The weight of his gaze was uncomfortable, but neither squirmed. Akira gazed back steadily, whilst Sasaki tried to look _through_ Arima. He couldn't give anything away.

"...Good," Arima spoke finally. "You may go. But don't let me find out you were lying to me."

"You won't. We're not. Come on, Haise. We've got work to do." Akira turned on her heel, and all but dragged Sasaki from the room.

 

"Guess the stalking is going to stop now..." Sasaki murmured as they made their way to their workstations. Now Arima had given up on the case, they could finally get on with more important work.

"Don't relax too much," Akira warned. "Even if we can move freely, it doesn't mean somebody isn't tracking our movements, somehow." She smiled faintly. "I recall that Nagachika admitted to putting trackers on people. Thanks to his little detective hobby, we were able to locate Aogiri's base."

Sasaki winced, sitting down heavily when a flashback coursed through his mind: fingers and toes, pain, subtract in sevens starting at 1000-993-986-979-972-965--

"Haise, you okay?"

Sasaki blinked, rubbing his temples. "...yeah. I'm fine." He nodded. The memory of that torture was one he wished he could keep suppressed. "He did that? Tracked people?"

Akira nodded. "I always got the impression he was trying to find someone." She gave Sasaki a meaningful look. "When that didn't work out, he came to us. I wonder if he ever found that person. He went missing in action, anyway. The bureau announced him dead."

Sasaki wondered why Akira said that of Hide, when she knew he was alive. Then Suzuya appeared.

"Haise! We're going home now. Come eat with us one day, won't you? Akira and the others, too. Hanbee will cook."

"Sounds nice, thank you." Sasaki stood up and held out his arms. They went through the usual ritual of Suzuya patting him down and retrieving sweets from his pockets.

Loaded up with goodies, Suzuya stepped back and grinned. "Until next time, Haise! Bye Akira!"

"Bye," Akira kissed Suzuya's offered cheek. "Don't let Hanbee spoil you too much."

Suzuya gave a devilish grin and returned to Hanbee, who waited in the doorway. Hanbee nodded to them and smiled faintly, then he and Suzuya disappeared from view.

Sasaki and Akira sat at their desks and sighed in unison. Suzuya was an excellent investigator, but his boundless energy was exhausting--especially after only a few hours sleep.

"I don't know how Hanbee manages it..." Sasaki mumbled. Keeping up with Suzuya's desire for food was a full time job in itself.

"He's completely devoted himself to Juuzou, that's how," Akira smiled. "It's cute, isn't it?"

Sasaki nodded and smiled a little.

"I guess they'll stop for food several times on the way back to the thirteenth ward," Akira chuckled. "Let's get lunch together today, Haise. Being around Suzuya has made me hungry."

Sasaki was about to turn down the offer when he recalled the note fragment of Amon's. It was still in his breast pocket, and Sasaki realised it was a small wonder that Suzuya hadn't frisked him of it earlier. He would definitely give it to her at lunch, though it hardly seemed relevant anymore compared to the other information she had gathered. "Yeah, that sounds good," he agreed. "We can talk about the case."

His tone didn't change, but Akira knew he meant the Empty Files, not a bureau case.

"A working lunch," she nodded. "A good chance to catch up on lost time."

If anyone was still spying, they'd appear to be completely and wholeheartedly dedicated to their job. Yet with each new finding, both found another reason to reconsider their association with the CCG.

 

Nobody followed Akira and Sasaki when they went for lunch. No suspicious-looking person spied on them either, and the restaurant they stopped at - chosen because they had never been there before, deeming it an unpredictable choice - was quiet. Definitely not bugged.

Sasaki prodded at the ramen bowl Akira insisted he order, then took a sip of coffee instead. Human food really didn't appeal to him anymore, and he kept thinking of the meat Hide had provided. Eventually Sasaki realised he'd have to focus on other things before he began salivating at the table.

"I received this, which may help with our case," he began quietly. He produced the note and slid it across to her.

Akira's brows raised when she set eyes on it. "This is..." She leaned across the table, pocketing the note. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Did Amon...?"

Sasaki shook his head. "From the box," he explained. "The notebook."

"We need to find the rest."

"I think it's gone. Looks like someone removed it, but left that last piece behind."

"I'll find it somehow. Amon may have been onto this, too..." She gazed across the restaurant, expression forlorn. "If only he'd shared it with me. We could have prevented so much from happening. And he'd still be here."

"Wonder what things would be like if he was?" Sasaki pondered. If Amon and Akira had exposed the experiments two years ago, he supposed he wouldn't be with the CCG. He wouldn't even exist.

"Better," Akira replied with certainty. "Definitely better. Eat your food, Haise."

Sasaki started poking at his food again. Akira always changed the subject when it came to Amon. He hoped they could find Amon alive some day, and that he hadn't been victim to any of the bureau's other experiments.

"Akira..." Sasaki pushed his bowl aside, remembering something from the Rat Group attack. "One of the four ghouls that helped me, the one I didn't recognise... His mask stuck in my mind. The design wasn't as straightforward as most of the others: Yin-yang, with sunflowers." He took out his notebook and showed her the rough sketch he'd done. "It caught my attention, but until today I couldn't work out why."

Akira tilted her head and looked at him patiently, though a chilling sense of worry grasped at her heart. She had a fair idea where this conversation was going.

"When I ran into Shiba recently, he was carrying a file marked Sunflower. I wondered if the ghoul is known to the bureau already, but couldn't find anything."

Akira nodded. "I don't recall ever hearing the name, though as we know, it's entirely possible the bureau has covered it up. I'll add the name to the list. We'll get an answer."

"At least we know who has the file," Sasaki smiled faintly. Getting it would be difficult.

"We'll manage," Akira said with certainty. She decided not to tell Sasaki about the file Mutsuki and Shirazu had copied, nor of its contents. She needed him to stay focused.

 

Hide roamed back and forth in his apartment, restless. It felt like forever since he'd last seen Sasaki, though in reality it was less than twenty-four hours. He'd reminisced over their rooftop meeting countless times before sleeping last night, and had done so plenty more since he awoke that morning. Hide had been scared, at first. Sasaki's injuries had looked terrible. At least his ghoul side meant they healed faster, else Hide would have had to take Sasaki to a doctor--a CCG one, since regular doctors would immediately see something amiss with Sasaki's RC count.

But after Sasaki had rested and healed, their time together had been pretty wonderful.

Hide had spent a lot of time watching Sasaki as he slept, spooning close to him and paying attention to his soft breathing. The innocence of Sasaki's sleeping face had made Hide contemplate how far he was willing to go for him. How much he trusted him. His answers were 'as far as needed' and 'completely'. However, when Sasaki had asked him about why his name was on Akira's list, Hide had panicked. He hadn't been ready to respond to that question. In hindsight, it wasn't through a lack of trust, but the fact he'd never truly come to terms with the answer.

Could he tell Sasaki everything?

Hide took out his recently-retrieved phone. Sasaki's number was now programmed into it, set to speed dial. Hide hadn't checked for the existence of his old, precious messages. They were simple ones from Kaneki, about books he'd read, or a question about class: good memories. Hide had deleted all the messages linked to bad memories a long time ago. He couldn't bring himself to delete the happy ones, but realised, upon receiving his phone back, that he didn't need to look at them anymore. Kaneki had been lain to rest within Hide's heart. His beloved friend was at peace. Hide had moved on.

The phone began to ring as Hide stared at it, Sasaki's name popping up on the screen.

Hide's lips curved into a smile and he stopped pacing

"Hi..."

"Hey, Hide." Hide could hear that Sasaki was smiling.

"Hi," he said again, grinning and not caring that he sounded like an idiot.

"Are you free to talk?"

"Yeah, I'm free." Hide perched on the edge of the couch. "What's up? Did you want to meet?"

"I'd love to, especially as I'm not being followed anymore. I'm stuck with work this evening, but how is tomorrow for you? Perhaps lunch...? I went to a good place with Akira today."

"I'll be content just with grabbing coffee somewhere," Hide replied. "Not much of a lunch person."

"Me either!" Sasaki laughed softly, relieved he wouldn't have to endure more human food. "Coffee it is. Let's meet at the arcade, say, quarter past one?"

Hide smiled. "That's great. It will be great to see you, Haise..."

"You too. I'm looking forward to it." There was a real note of fondness in Sasaki's voice, and it warmed Hide to the bone.

"Me too. I'm so glad you called. I was thinking about you. I need--" Hide stopped when he heard Akira calling for Sasaki in the background. "Ah, you're being summoned again..."

"Yeah. Sorry, Hide. I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Haise? I..."

"Yes...?"

Hide still couldn't do it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Haise. Take care."

"Take care, Hide."

Hide hung up, a little disappointed in himself. It should have been easy to speak up, to promise to tell all. But even the thought of telling all was trapped on his tongue now, it seemed. His excitement outweighed his disappointment, at least, and Hide wondered if they would end up going somewhere alone. The rooftop really had been rather wonderful.

Sasaki hung up and slipped his phone into his pocket. He wandered over to Akira, only half-listening to her, his mind focused on Hide. Sasaki realised that Hide had wanted to tell him something, but what? He supposed he would find out tomorrow.

Sasaki couldn't wait.

Arima hung up. He set down the headphones triumphantly. For a moment he stared at the listening device, a faint smile upon his face. He'd known all along that somebody would try to retrieve that phone. People thought of the devices as an extra limb, these days. Tapping it had been an obvious course of action, and after the job was done he simply left it unguarded and waited for it to disappear. It had been bound to return to its owner eventually.

Arima hadn't been surprised by the caller, nor who answered, though the atmosphere of the conversation had been unexpected. Sasaki had never seemed that type.

Arima tapped away at the keyboard, then lifted the phone and made a call.

"It's Arima. I'm sending you the location now. Tomorrow, 13:15. I want a clean operation. Minimal upheaval, minimal violence. Don't let me down."

Arima returned the phone to its cradle and walked to the window, satisfied and excited. Foresight was an amazing virtue. It almost trumped patience. Arima had been playing this game with caution, and the game was going his way.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira does some detective work, and finds some evidence she's been looking for. Sasaki and Hide finally have the freedom to go on a date--though it doesn't go entirely to plan, and Hide ends up admitting what drove him to part ways with the CCG.

Akira had worked late again. She'd received a lead on Aogiri during lunch, and after heckling Sasaki to get off the phone, they had gone to investigate. Their investigation turned out to be fruitful: they discovered a possible location for an Aogiri hideout. A ghoul had been caught and sent for questioning, but so far no new information had been uncovered. When evening drew on, Akira sent Sasaki home. He had offered to stay late - the Quinx were capable of feeding themselves, after all - but Akira was adamant that he return. The dreamy look he'd had on his face since his lunchtime phone call had been amusing at first, but come the evening it had started to bother her. Although she was pleased to see a glimmer of happiness in Sasaki's usually troubled gaze, Akira hurt, too. Thoughts of Amon drifted through her mind. Dedicated, brave Amon. If only he'd been a little less brave, a little less dedicated... She would have had him for sure--and maybe he'd still be around.

Once she was alone, Akira collected up a folder of papers relating to Aogiri, and headed to the archives. She returned to the room that held Amon's archive box, and took it down from the shelf. The notebook was still where they'd left it, tucked down the side of the larger papers and files. Akira took it from the box and, checking that nobody was about, replaced it with an identical one from her folder. Then Amon's notebook was slipped into her folder, out of sight.

On the way to the elevator, Akira heard voices. It wasn't unusual for other investigators to work into the evening - it was only nine, after all - and she might have ignored it, if not for the words that caught her ears.

"Sasaki is strong, so approach him with caution."

Akira stopped, and looked about for the source of the voice.

"Yes sir."

"Gather more evidence first."

"Yes sir. Evidence, then approach. Caution is required."

"I'm glad you understand me."

Unsure if she heard the conversation correctly - it was coming from an archive room nearby - Akira wanted to creep closer. But she knew her heels would give her away. She debated for a second: remove her shoes and go closer barefoot? That would be hard to explain should anyone question her. It sounded as though the conversation was over, anyway. As footsteps sounded from the room, Akira strode on her way as though she'd never stopped in the first place, hoping her presence had gone undetected. The conversation troubled her. She didn't recognise the subordinate's voice, but the other had definitely been Arima. What was he planning?

Akira wanted to call Sasaki and warn him. Yet without any real knowledge of what was going on, what could she warn him about? That Arima was scheming something? They already knew that. Sasaki already knew to be on his guard. Akira just hoped that the conversation was only about the stalking. Being followed around by spies paled in comparison to some of the terrible things uncovered in their Empty Files case.

 

Akira returned home and took out Amon's notebook. She flipped through it carefully, looking for places where pages had been torn out. Several had been removed, which seemed suspicious. In all their time working together, she had never seen Amon rip pages out. He was too precise; even his notes had been carefully turned over in his mind before he committed them to paper. There was no reason for him to have removed any pages--which reinforced her suspicion that a lot had been taken from Amon's effects to cover up the experiments.

Each time she encountered a place where a page had been removed, Akira took up her pencil and carefully rubbed it over the page beneath. Amon's notes were written in ballpoint pen, and he'd always pressed hard as he wrote, so a lot of the missing words were impressed onto the page beneath. The note Sasaki had found was the first she discovered. Akira continued her pencil-rubbing method through the rest of the notebook, hoping to glean more knowledge.

By the time she was done, Akira had a number of fragments. It was clear that Amon had suspected the same cover-ups as she had found evidence for. Unfortunately there were many places where several pages had been removed in one go, so Akira only had the last part of Amon's thoughts. But it was enough.

Akira read over what she had found, copying it into her own notebook as she went.

_'...after previous encounter, believe Eyepatch does not want to kill. Possible link to Kanou. Believe experiments still happening. Eyepatch = Kaneki = human? Eyepatch. Does bureau have involvement in these experiments? Kanou was surgeon who saved Kaneki's life. Apparent ties to bureau but file is empty. This is suspicious. Must investigate futher.'_

_'... curiosity on hypothetical ghoul-human hybrids. Shiba reluctant to discuss but after some pushing said it's possible. Shiba is now suspicious. May have pressed too hard on this. Confided in Mado but he became angry and ordered me not to pursue this further. Respect him but distrust his motivation.'_

_'...therefore Chigyou involved too. However, cannot provide concrete proof. Arata experimental but not sure if trust him enough to use it when ready.'_

_'...they're all in on it. Doubt position in bureau. I know about the experiments. They know I'm onto them. Concerned for Akira and Nagachika. Cannot protect them when the inevitable happens.'_

_'Eyepatch (Ken Kaneki) is a human who had ghoul organs implanted following an accident. The procedure was carried out by Akihiro Kanou, who has ties to CCG. However, believe Kanou working for Aogiri. Eyepatch is not the first experiment. The bureau is involved. If you're reading this, Akira Mado, all the evidence is right here in my files. I hope you're far away from the bureau. Get away, and take all of this information to--'_

The last note cut off there. Akira had looked through the notebook several times in the hope of finding more, but that was it. Take the information to who? Was Amon killed by the bureau for what he discovered? Was his disappearance a cover up?

Akira couldn't accept it. Amon was alive somehow, somewhere. He had to be.

Tired, Akira prepared for bed. Tomorrow, she'd show it to Sasaki and the Quinx Squad. She didn't have the evidence that Amon wrote about, but his notes were proof in themselves that such evidence had existed--and been removed.

After reading the notes one more time, Akira felt a renewed purpose in pursuing the Empty Files case. What had begun as a feeble attempt to reassure herself that her father had never been involved in such terrible things had become a mission to complete the work her former partner had never been able to finish: and prove that her father - along with countless other CCG operatives - had been responsible for such awful experimentation.

 

Sasaki was in an excellent mood as he ambled through the streets to meet Hide. Nothing could dampen his spirits, not with their little coffee date on the horizon. He contemplated the morning as he walked, and wondered what the afternoon would bring.

Akira had wanted Sasaki to go to lunch with her again that day, and had seemed agitated when he turned her down. Eventually, Sasaki had explained that he already had lunch plans. Akira hadn't been entirely satisfied, and invited herself to dinner later instead. Thinking back to that morning, Sasaki realised that Akira had clearly wanted to speak to him outside of the bureau. It meant she'd found something. He regretted turning her down for lunch, but Hide was ultimately more appealing. Sasaki's curiosity was overpowered by his desire--Akira's information could wait until the evening.

Hide reached their meeting place early. It was strange to be in there outside of work, and to stand outside the arcade instead of across the square. The sun-drenched square had an entirely different atmosphere during the day: bustling and rushed, rather than the evening's air of carefree, relaxed activity. The square had always been his favourite sales point with the crepe cart, but the area felt more important to him now. This was where he had met Sasaki for the first time, and where they had begun to get to know each other. Now it was their meet-up location for what Hide assumed counted as a first date. He smiled to himself, enjoying the sun's warmth on his skin, and full of excitement for Sasaki's arrival.

When Sasaki reached the arcade and caught sight of Hide, his breath caught in his throat. Hide looked so content amongst the stressed, busy workers that passed him by. His eyes were half-closed, as though he were daydreaming, and his hands rested comfortably in his pockets. Bathed in sunlight, Hide looked like some kind of nonchalant angel, casual and relaxed.

Hide looked up as Sasaki approached, and his inviting, slightly-curved lips spread into an even bigger smile.

"Haise! You made it!"

"Of course I did," Sasaki smiled back, heart doing somersaults.

They gazed at each other for a moment, suddenly noticing that they were in public and couldn't greet each other as they might have were they alone. Hide took his hands from his pockets and reached towards Sasaki, then hesitated and clapped him on the shoulder instead.

"It's great to see you!"

Sasaki nodded and touched Hide's hand, unable to stop smiling. "You too, Hide. At last we can meet up without being followed. Arima called the investigation off. It's safe."

"I'm so glad," Hide's eyes widened. "It's been tough, hasn't it?" He signalled along the pavement. "Shall we walk? There are some good cafes nearby."

They began to head out of the square, chatting easily but struggling not to touch. Two men showing affection in public would draw attention, and Sasaki wanted to avoid that. He didn't want Hide to be noticed, or risk him being recognised, just in case. It was frustrating, because all he wanted was to hold Hide's hand.

 

Hide and Sasaki had settled at a sidewalk cafe a little way from the square. The open-air nature of the cafe seemed ideal with the great weather, and the delicious smell of fresh coffee had lured them both in.

"This is really great stuff," Hide commented, smiling over the rim of his cup. His eyes were warmer than ever, tender gaze unwavering as he looked at Sasaki.

Sasaki smiled back, feeling heat rise into his cheeks. How could one look from Hide do this to him? He felt a little unsteady. Hide was handsome, and his smiles sent a cleansing fire through Sasaki's body. Sasaki forgot about everything when he saw Hide smile. He forgot about his past, and didn't even think about Akira's urgency that morning or his curiosity about what she had found. Thoughts of any bureau case were far from Sasaki's mind. All he thought of was Hide, Hide right before him, Hide who smiled so brightly and so beautifully that it was as if the sun had risen just for him.

"Hey, I brought you something," Hide set his cup down and shoved a hand in his jacket pocket. "It's only a little, but I figured it might help..." He produced a small package, similar to the one he'd given Sasaki on the rooftop, and placed it on the table before him. Sasaki knew what was inside. He could smell it. The aroma was tantalisingly appetising.

"Why?" Sasaki asked softly. He pocketed the meat carefully, hoping he'd get some time alone at some point to eat it. "I mean, I'm grateful, but you know I eat normally, don't you?"

Hide shrugged and gave another of his sunny smiles. "Yeah, I know. I also accept you for who you are, Haise. And I know that little package contains what you need."

"Thank you, Hide." Sasaki smiled, and realised he didn't care about the passing public anymore. He reached across the table and took Hide's hand in his own. "I'm so lucky to have met you. Although I'm sorry I can't be Kaneki for you, I'm happy that you never gave up on him, Hide. Because it led you to me. I--" Sasaki trailed off when he noticed the tears welling up in Hide's eyes. "Sorry, are you okay?" he asked, hoping he hadn't said something wrong.

But then Hide smiled, even brighter than before, and kissed Sasaki's knuckles. "I loved Kaneki," he murmured. "Part of me will always care about him. We were close, after all. But I'm not here for the sake of my friend's ghost. You're the one within my heart now. It's you I want, Haise."

Overcome with emotion, Sasaki was surprised to find himself tearing up. Hide was so open and honest, all his feelings were written upon his face to be read by any who happened to look. Hide had taken Sasaki's breath away, but he'd also stolen Sasaki's heart.

Sasaki smiled and squeezed Hide's hand. "Hide, I--" A flash from across the street caught Sasaki's attention and all of a sudden he got the impression of being watched. He turned his head and saw a car parked across the street. Within it sat a man with a camera, aimed at the cafe. "...we're being watched..." Sasaki said weakly, realising how foolish they'd been. He should have known Arima wouldn't let matters drop so easily. Akira had even warned him to be on his guard, yet here he was, holding hands with Hide, right out in the open!

Hide glanced in the direction Sasaki had looked, and saw the man getting out of the car. "He's armed, Haise. With a quinque."

"I'll protect you, Hide," Sasaki murmured softly. "It's only one man."

But then another climbed from the back of the car, also armed, and Sasaki spotted a second pair of doves further along the pavement, approaching cautiously.

Suddenly a black van with dark windows roared along the street, mounting the pavement. The doves leapt out of the way, and the vehicle squealed to a halt right beside the cafe.

"Shit, what now?" Hide uttered fearfully.

The side door slid open and Akira looked out. "Get in!" she yelled.

Hide and Sasaki jumped into the van and it screeched off only moments before a quinque smashed into the sidewalk. As the pair fell onto the floor of the van, Akira slammed the door shut and sat down.

"Keep going, Saiko!" she yelled through to the front.

"Saiko?!" Sasaki clambered to his feet and peered into the front of the van. Sure enough, Saiko sat in the driver's seat, bolstered by a cushion. She could barely see over the wheel, and Sasaki wondered how easily she could reach the pedals. "I didn't know you could drive..." he uttered in amazement.

"There are racing games, Maman," Saiko replied, not lifting her eyes from the road.

"I see..." Sasaki lifted a brow. It certainly explained why her driving was fast and somewhat erratic.

"Go careful, Saiko," Akira called out. "Don't get stopped. You don't have a license, and we've got some precious cargo."

Sasaki sat down beside Hide, who was leaning against the side of the van. "What's going on, exactly?" he asked. "I thought the stalking had stopped."

"It had," Akira sat opposite them. "That was Arima's sting operation."

"But how did he know we'd be there? I only discussed it with Hide on the phone, when we were returning from lunch." Sasaki looked at Akira suspiciously. "...you didn't tell him, did you, Akira?"

Akira frowned. "I just saved your ass, Haise. Don't accuse me of working against you."

"Sorry," Sasaki sighed, realising he was being unfair. "But how did you know where to find us?"

"I told her," Saiko called through from the front. "I was in the arcade, and saw you and Hide meet, and got curious so I followed you a little."

Hide blinked. "I never realised we were being followed."

"Nor did I..." Sasaki wondered what other skills Saiko had up her sleeve. It was a good thing she was on their side.

"I knew something was happening. I overheard part of Arima's conversation yesterday evening," Akira explained. "Without knowing what he had planned, I couldn't warn you. I thought you'd be on your guard..."

"...I am so stupid." Hide slapped his forehead and took out his phone. He began fiddling with it, frowning. "I should have known it wouldn't be safe. That the bureau would--Ugh, I knew it. Bastards!" He tossed the phone across the van and sighed heavily. "It's been tapped. Arima must have heard everything we said, Haise."

"I'm sorry. This is my fault," Sasaki reached for Hide's hand, but Hide wrapped his arms around him instead.

"It's not your fault," Hide uttered fiercely. "It's all because of Arima. That bastard..."

Sasaki held Hide gently and looked across at Akira. "What's our next move?" he asked.

"We're going to take you somewhere safe," Akira replied. "You two will have to hole up there for a while, until I can work something out. There's so much evidence that it's scary. If only I could find some dirt on Arima, we'd have something to fight back with. But I'm going to work this out."

"We're helping!" Saiko called back. "Shirazu and Urie are working from the Chateau. Mutsuki is looking in the archives. We'll find something, Maman."

Sasaki closed his eyes and sighed. "Don't get caught, please. Don't end up in my position." The Quinx Squad were loyal, and he was fond of them. He didn't want them or Akira to get hurt for his sake.

Akira smiled reassuringly. "Don't underestimate your kids, Haise. Or me."

 

After driving for some time, Saiko pulled into an underground car park and stopped beside the entrance to a stairwell.

Akira opened the door and stepped out. "Come on. Let's get you settled."

"Where are we?" Sasaki asked, looking around the dimly-lit car park.

"My father's old apartment building," Akira removed a key from her bag and headed towards the stairs.

"Isn't this really close to the 20th Ward's branch office?" Sasaki asked worriedly. "Won't they find us here? Isn't it an obvious choice? They'll know you're involved, Akira..."

Hide linked fingers with Sasaki. "Always hide in plain sight," he said softly. "This place is so obvious that it's foolish. Nobody will look here."

"How can you be certain?"

"I've been hiding for a long time," Hide pointed out. "And was only found because of an unexpected tangle with a ghoul. Arima has been looking for me for years, and I've always been right on his doorstep."

Sasaki was about to ask more, but Akira turned and put her finger to her lips. "Nearly there," she said. "Other investigators live here, too, so be quiet."

She led them to a worn-down apartment on the top floor. It was clear that little care had been put into it over the years, but it was clean and fully furnished. A few personal belongings lay about here and there, as though the resident had simply stepped out to buy some groceries.

"It's pretty much as he left it," Akira explained, once she'd closed the door. "My father bought this place when I joined the academy. After he died, I never got around to selling it, or dealing with the rest of his stuff."

Sasaki sensed that Akira's procrastination on those matters had a lot to do with what her father had done. "Just as well you hadn't sold it yet..." he murmured, going to the window. The apartment afforded a great view of the city. He could even see the 20th Ward branch office, though it wasn't much of a reassuring sight. If he could see the office, the office could see him. Sasaki closed the curtains and turned back to the room.

"Make yourselves comfortable," Akira told them, walking back toward the door. "I'm going to get you some supplies."

"What about Saiko?"

"Gone to ditch the van. She'll return to the Chateau afterwards," Akira smiled a little. "She's a surprising one, isn't she? I'll watch out for her, Haise."

Hide sat down on the couch. "We'll make the best of waiting around here, then," he said, holding a hand out to Sasaki.

"Just don't give me any shocking sights when I get back," Akira smirked knowingly. "And don't open the door to anyone. I have no need to knock." She stepped outside, the door clicking shut behind her.

Sasaki walked across the Hide and took his hand. "We're alone," he murmured, sinking onto the couch.

"Yeah," Hide smiled.

They were still kissing when Akira returned.

 

"I retrieved Amon's notebook. This is what I found," Akira placed the notebook on the coffee table, and her copied version beside it. After teasing them a little and making some coffee, she'd immediately got down to business.

Akira waited whilst Sasaki and Hide read over the notes.

"So it's true," Sasaki put the notes down. "Shiba, Chigyou--they're both involved. Probably with Kanou, and who knows how many others."

Akira nodded. "These notes are vague, but they're enough to prove that more evidence _did_ exist. It proves they were involved, at least. I really think we can use this, if only we knew who Amon wanted me to take the evidence to."

"I could have told you they were involved," Hide said grimly. His face had turned pale as he read the notes. Bad memories had been stirred up. He feared what would happen if Akira's research fell into the wrong hands.

"What do you mean, Hide?" Sasaki touched Hide's shoulder.

"I should have warned you before," Hide answered shakily. "You cannot trust Arima. I--at the bureau--..."

"It's okay," Sasaki rubbed Hide's back. "Take your time."

Hide shook his head, tears threatening to fall. "It's hard..."

"Do your best," Akira knelt down in front of him. "What happened with Arima?"

Closing his eyes, Hide took a deep breath and tried to gather his courage. He could do this. He needed to do this. Sasaki and Akira were depending on him. They needed to know the truth.

"After the Owl Suppression..." he began quietly. "I'd been in hospital. It was my discharge day. I went to see Dr. Shiba, who--" Hide swallowed. "He'd taken care of me. But he was with someone. Arima. I figured I'd wait until they were done, and then I saw...I saw..." Hide hesitated, frowning.

Sasaki wrapped an arm around him, and pressed a feather-light kiss to his temple. "It's okay, Hide. You're safe here," he said, voice gentle. "What did you see?"

"I saw Shiba give Arima an organ transplant box," Hide fought back tears as he spoke. "Arima opened it and took out a-a...a stomach, or something. And then... Then, Arima _ate_ it." Hide let out a sob, a tear sliding down his cheek. Sasaki held him tighter. "I wanted to run, but Arima saw me, and said that if I told anybody, he'd kill me, and destroy Kaneki." Hide looked at Sasaki. "I didn't know about you, at that time. I guess that all the while, you were lying in a hospital bed not that far from where I was." Tears flowed from Hide's eyes, and he clung to Sasaki, shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

"Arima ate flesh...?" Akira's eyes narrowed. "It's not possible. There's no way he's a ghoul. He hates them."

"I know what I saw," Hide mumbled miserably, slightly muffled by Sasaki's chest.

Sasaki stroked Hide's hair. "If that's what he saw, I believe it. There must be an explanation."

"I've seen all of his data, Haise. I told you, it's all perfect."

"In which case it's probably as honest as my school records," Sasaki pointed out.

Akira pursed her lips. "I don't know what to think. Have you ever seen any evidence that Arima is a ghoul? I haven't."

Sasaki shook his head. "Nothing. But..." He hesitated. "...Akira, you've seen my medical file. You know what - and who - I really am."

"Yes. What about it?"

"I take RC suppressants. Arima does, too. One of my first memories is him saying that he found it took some time to stabilise his RC count, so I shouldn't be afraid of going back to Shiba if things didn't seem right." Sasaki frowned slightly. "I always assumed he had a naturally high RC Cell count, and nothing more. But in light of what Hide saw, I have to wonder. Arima always understood my position. A little too well."

"He knows what you are, that's why," Akira reminded him. "He more or less built you, with the help of the doctors."

Sasaki sighed. "Akira, for the past two years, he's been sending me meat. It didn't come from any animal."

The colour drained from Akira's face. She expression became frightened, then disgusted, and finally settled on furious. "What the hell? That's sick! Don't tell me you ate that shit, Haise..."

Sasaki's sorrowful expression gave her the answer.

Akira jumped to her feet and started pacing, raking her hands through her hair. "Shit. You never told me! Ugh! Why?! I thought you ate normal food!"

"I can, but it's never given me the nutrients I really need," Sasaki sighed. Hide squeezed him, but remained silent.

"Couldn't you up your suppressants? They help, right?"

Sasaki shook his head. "As of yesterday morning, I stopped taking them. They never did enough. Although it would probably help me to eat, a larger dose would inhibit my abilities too greatly. I'd no longer be of use to the CCG and would become a target."

"And now you're a target anyway," sighed Akira. "This is fucked up. Where the hell did Arima get that meat from, anyway?"

"If he's a ghoul, he wouldn't have needed to look hard. I never liked to think about it," Sasaki pouted. "I don't like having to rely on it, Akira. I'd love to actually enjoy the food you get to eat."

Hide lifted his head from Sasaki's shoulder. "There are ghouls who choose not to hunt, or are unable to hunt for themselves," he said quietly. "Other ghouls help them with food."

Akira arched a brow, unimpressed. "So other ghouls go hunting, to feed those who don't have the balls to do it themselves?"

"It isn't like that. They seek out bodies that are already dead. Suicides, for example."

Beside Hide, Sasaki shuddered and put a hand to his head, suffering the memory of gathering meat with Yomo. It had sickened Kaneki then, and it sickened Sasaki now. "It's true," Sasaki murmured. "Kaneki witnessed it. I saw it in a flashback."

Sighing, Akira sat down again. "It's better than killing people, I guess..."

"Essentially it's like humans who eat road kill," Hide smiled faintly. "It's really not that terrible, Akira. _Ghouls_ aren't terrible, for the most part."

"I realise that, Hide," Akira rested her head in her hands. "I'm just struggling with the fact that my partner has been eating that stuff. I never considered it. I always assumed you could eat normally. I'm sorry, Haise. All the times I made you eat, you didn't enjoy it, did you?"

Sasaki smiled. "I appreciated your kindness, Akira."

"If I'd known..."

"You didn't. I didn't tell anyone. Only Arima knew."

"He probably got the meat from the hospital," Hide said quietly.

"Now I understand why you don't like them," Sasaki kissed Hide's forehead. "Akira, we have to find some solid proof about Arima. There must be some other file--a real file."

"There's nothing. Mutsuki is combing through the archives as we speak. There is only one personnel file for Kishou Arima, and only one medical file."

Sasaki tilted his head. "What about an alias?"

"He's nicknamed the CCG's Shinigami," Akira said thoughtfully. "The Undefeated Ghoul Investigator."

Hide blinked and sat up straighter. "Try looking for 'Reaper'."

"There's an idea. I'll call Mutsuki." Akira took out her phone, and in moments was talking to him. "Mutsuki, try a new search. Look for Reaper, or Death. You'll have to use the index cards for it. Arima probably has a trace on that name, too. Call me if you find anything."

"Arima has a trace...?" Sasaki blinked.

"Didn't I tell you?" Akira raised her brows. "Arima had a snooping application added to the archive search software. It sends alerts if any user searches a particular name."

"How did you know about this? And why didn't you tell me?"

"Stop being so suspicious. I know because I was there one time when an alert went off. He told me it was for security purposes, to protect some sensitive information from reaching the wrong hands. I foolishly believed him, until that day I found you in the archives. He'd sent me to find you, because you searched for Kaneki. And Eyepatch. And Hide." Akira smiled apologetically. "I honestly thought I'd told you, Haise."

"I believe you," Hide spoke up. "Arima is very convincing."

Sasaki frowned slightly, but Akira's phone began to ring before he could speak.

"It's Mutsuki," Akira said, looking at the display before she answered. "Hey, Mutsuki... You did? Great, you know what to do. I'll head over." Hanging up the phone, Akira stood up. "He found the file. You were right, Hide. It was Reaper." She smiled wryly. "Staring us in the face all this time. But the file is in Mutsuki's hands right now. We have him, guys." She strode towards the door. "I probably won't be back tonight. Stay here, don't go out. Ah, what about food? All I brought was some cup noodles."

Sasaki shifted uncomfortably. "We'll be fine, Akira. Don't worry. I have some..."

"Oh." Akira blinked, feeling awkward. "Um. I'll leave you to it, then. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks, Akira," Sasaki smiled a little. "We'd have been in a lot of trouble today if it wasn't for you."

Akira nodded, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "I've got to look out for my partner, huh? And don't worry, I'll make sure the kids get fed."

Sasaki chuckled quietly. "Thank you, really. They'd subsist on pizza if I didn't force them to eat something nutritious."

"I know," Akira smiled more. "Well, I'm off. Keep your heads down, guys. I'll be back when I have news."

Akira left the building, mind full of what Mutsuki had told her on the phone. She couldn't wait to see it for herself. From the sound of it, Arima's file was astonishing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. They're alone...


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Sasaki are alone, far away from any interruptions...  
> Akira won't return til morning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, friends. :3

Once Akira had left, Sasaki sighed and let his head drop back against the couch. "What a day..." he uttered, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, I didn't expect it to turn out like this." Hide smiled faintly, studying Sasaki in profile: the line of his forehead, the curve of his nose and his slightly-parted lips, his defined chin and exposed neck. Hide ran a fingertip from Sasaki's chin to his collar, over the bump of his adam's apple. The action made Sasaki lift his head again, and Hide beamed when their eyes met. "You're a very attractive man, Haise," Hide murmured, hand coming to rest on Sasaki's shoulder.

"And you're downright gorgeous," Sasaki smiled. "Earlier today, I hoped we could somehow find ourselves alone. Guess I got my wish."

"We both did."

The reality of their situation slowly sank in as they gazed at each other, unable to look away. Here they were, alone. Only Akira knew they were here--and she wasn't going to be back until morning. Nobody could interrupt them. Sasaki smiled faintly, breath hitching at the unfathomable depth of tenderness in Hide's warm, dark eyes.

Hide leaned in slowly, eyes sliding closed as he captured Sasaki's lips with his own. Sasaki shivered, eyelids fluttering shut. Hide's kiss was slow and searching, gentle and unhurried. The touch of Hide's lips felt like electricity through Sasaki's veins, and he sighed gently when they parted, hot breath mingling with Hide's in the mere inches that stood between them. Sasaki half-opened his eyes and found Hide's heavy-lidded, yearning gaze upon him.

Smiling, Hide traced the sharp line of Sasaki's jaw with his fingertips, marvelling at the softness of Sasaki's skin and the affectionate, needy look in his eyes. Sasaki's cheeks were pink, and they turned even pinker when Hide cupped his jaw and drew him in for another kiss. This one was a little more intense, held more passion. Hide quivered in delight at the sensation of Sasaki's hands on his back, their gentle caress warm and fuelling his desire.

Sasaki felt giddy from the affection in Hide's kisses, and drew him closer, then closer still, fingers buried in the soft fabric of Hide's clothes. He parted his lips, wanting more of Hide, craving him, heart thrumming madly. Hide's kisses were delicious, and as his tongue nudged past Sasaki's lips, Sasaki let out a soft moan of pleasure, the sound echoing into Hide's mouth.

Demanding hands tugged Hide even nearer, and Hide broke the kiss just long enough to straddle Sasaki's lap, hips to hips, chest to chest. Sasaki's arms tightened around him, his gaze smouldered, and when Hide leaned in to kiss him again, Sasaki's tongue delved hungrily into his mouth, teasing, tasting, tantalising. Hide groaned, threading his fingers into Sasaki's hair. His pulse raced, and he tilted his hips a little harder against Sasaki's, enjoying the way the other's breath hitched at the contact. And then Sasaki's hands were under Hide's t-shirt, hot and probing, mapping out every bump in Hide's spine, every muscle, every inch of skin.

Sasaki's sultry kiss became more searing and ravenous, and Hide kissed back as though he were starved. They parted for breath, and Sasaki pushed the t-shirt up and over Hide's head, dropping the garment carelessly aside. They stared at each other, breathless, panting, longing, red-cheeked and bright-eyed. Sasaki reached for Hide again, ran his hands over Hide's chest, touching all that he'd wanted to touch this way before, exploring tenderly.

Hide shivered, lips slightly parted. This was nothing like the last time Sasaki touched him. Last time had been clinical. Now it was a ritual of devotion. Sasaki smiled gently, catching the expression of pure adoration upon Hide's flushed face, and pressed a chaste kiss to the bite-shaped scar on Hide's shoulder.

That was too much for Hide. Letting out a sudden, shuddering breath, he enfolded Sasaki tightly in his arms and pressed his face into Sasaki's hair. Smiling, Sasaki held onto him fondly, feeling Hide's thudding pulse as they sat there, chests pressed tightly together. He closed his eyes, pressed another kiss to Hide's scar, and stroked Hide's back gently, revelling in their closeness. Hide's body was tense, his breath hot and shaky, and he clung to Sasaki as though he had nothing else in the world.

Only when he felt warm liquid drip onto his back did Sasaki realise that Hide was crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

Hide sighed shakily, and Sasaki felt him gulp. "Haise..." he murmured, trembling now. "Before anything else happens, I have to tell you something."

Sasaki's lips curved into a faint smile and he gave Hide a gentle squeeze. "I'm listening," he said softly, guessing what Hide wanted to say. He felt Hide try to pull away, but held on fast. "It's okay, Hide. Nothing can turn me away from you."

Hide stiffened. "I told that to Kaneki once."

"I remember," Sasaki started to stroke Hide's back again. "And it's true of how I feel. So please, Hide. Don't be afraid. I'm here with you."

Sighing, Hide rested heavily against Sasaki. "There's no delicate way of saying this. I nearly died during the Owl Suppression Operation. Would have died. I fell unconscious, and woke up in hospital three weeks later. The bureau--Shiba had 'fixed' me, on Arima's orders..." Hide gulped, tears trickling down his cheeks as he recalled waking up in that frightening place. "What I'm trying to say is... I'm like you, Haise. A half-ghoul."

"I know." Stilling his hands, Sasaki hugged Hide tightly.

"How did you know...?" Hide asked, voice hoarse with fear.

Sasaki shrugged, and nuzzled Hide's hair. "Little things. You had no broken bones after being attacked, when any normal human would have been hospitalised. You healed remarkably quickly--I _know_ that you had cuts when I found you in that alley, but when I reached home, all you had were some faint bruises. Then there was that security video. You released your kagune the moment that ghoul threw you through the door, didn't you?"

"I must have," Hide nodded glumly. "I was so scared when I realised it had been noticed. I lost consciousness in the alley, I guess, and didn't come around until I was at your place. Have I really been so obvious?"

"Not really. If it wasn't for this Empty Files case, I might never have figured it out," Sasaki smiled a little. "I guess what really tipped me off was when Saiko said you smell the same as me. Then it was confirmed when we were on that rooftop. I saw your mask sticking out of your jacket pocket, Hide. And later recalled a file I'd seen Shiba carrying around. They call you Sunflower, don't they?"

"Yes..." Hide drooped visibly.

"Hide, it's okay. It doesn't change how I feel about you. How could it?"

Hide's breathing had almost returned to normal, but it hitched again at Sasaki's words. "You've been trained to destroy people like me," Hide murmured.

"Never again," Sasaki replied with certainty. "I'm done with the CCG. You're too important. I... I care deeply for you, Hide."

"So it's okay?" Hide leaned back so he could look Sasaki in the eye. "Won't it cause problems? We're in a lot of trouble as it is."

"We're in this together, no matter what," Sasaki confirmed. "I'll always protect you."

Hide sighed deeply, expression flooded with relief, tension easing from his body. "Sorry, Haise..." he murmured. "I completely ruined the moment."

Sasaki smiled tenderly, reaching up to wipe the few remaining tears from Hide's cheeks. "You didn't ruin anything, Hide." His hand came to rest on the back of Hide's neck, fingertips toying with the fine, silken hair at Hide's nape. "Come here." He tugged gently, bringing Hide close for another kiss. This one was a lot more heartfelt than before: the truth had been told, souls had been bared, and there was no reason to hold back. Hide felt tears spill over from the corners of his eyes, but this time they were happy tears. He broke the kiss, a quiet, sheepish chuckle escaping his lips. "I can't stop crying today," he uttered, wiping the tears away.

"So long as they're tears of happiness," Sasaki took hold of Hide's hands, lacing their fingers together.

"They are." Resting their foreheads together, Hide squeezed Sasaki's hands. They smiled at each other, the world forgotten, and then Hide ducked his head down for another kiss.

It didn't take long for their kissing to become more heated. Hide's lips set Sasaki's body aflame: the room seemed warmer, and Hide's touch was scorching, intoxicating.

When Sasaki finally managed to tear himself away from Hide's lips to trail kisses down his neck, a soft groan erupted from the back of Hide throat. Sasaki smiled, continuing on across Hide's collarbone.

Hide hooked his fingers into Sasaki's tie, sliding it undone and letting it fall to the floor to lay with his t-shirt. Sasaki drew him in for another kiss then, their tongues nudging against each other, familiar now, and gentle, then passionate: needy.

Heart pounding, Sasaki let go of Hide in favour of unbuttoning his shirt, fumbling with the awkward top-of-collar button. Hide broke the kiss, briefly pressed another to Sasaki's lips, and tugged the shirt hem from the confines of Sasaki's trousers, unbuttoning from the bottom as Sasaki unbuttoned from the top. Sasaki's temperature rose at how close Hide's hands were to his crotch; heat pooled there, stimulating and exciting.

Once Sasaki popped the last button open, Hide shoved the shirt down over Sasaki's shoulders, momentarily trapping his arms in a mess of black cotton and leaning in to capture Sasaki's lips once more. Sasaki wriggled, freeing himself of the garment as the Hide's lips left his mouth and latched onto his neck instead, licking and suckling and making Sasaki shiver. Sasaki wrapped his arms around Hide, shivering again. He noticed with a thrill the way Hide's breathing had become heavier, hotter, and the growing hardness that pressed into his thigh.

Sasaki slid his hands down over Hide's back, sneaking them past Hide's waistband to grip his ass and loving the way Hide gasped against his throat when he squeezed the soft, rounded flesh. Hide's hands dropped to Sasaki's belt and he unfastened it blindly as he continued to rain kisses upon Sasaki's skin. Sasaki squeezed Hide's ass again, eliciting a moan.

"Haise..." Hide whimpered huskily, hot breath ghosting over Sasaki's chest.

"I know..." Sasaki murmured, withdrawing his hands. He unfastened Hide's jeans, the bulge in them evident and the sight filling him with satisfaction. Sasaki slid his hand inside, stroking Hide through his underwear.

Hide tilted his head back and groaned. "Hai...se...."

Hide's exposed throat was too inviting, and Sasaki leaned in to kiss it as he snuck his fingertips past the final barrier of fabric that shielded Hide's hot, swollen arousal.

Sasaki's touch made Hide shudder, and he let out another moan, mind reeling from the sensations that stirred in his loins. This was all so new, so breathtakingly wonderful.

"Lay down, Hide," Sasaki uttered softly, shifting their positions to nudge Hide back onto the couch.

Hide stretched out on the plush cushions, missing Sasaki's warmth when he moved away. But then Sasaki's hands tugged at Hide's trousers and underpants, Hide lifting his hips to aid their removal. Sasaki pulled off both items at once, uncaring of the way one of the legs turned inside-out and the clothes ended up in a ball on the floor. He stood to remove the rest of his own clothes, gazing down at Hide eagerly. Hide's body was a masterpiece, from his handsome face, toned chest and abs, slim hips and enticing arousal, to his slender legs, strong feet and elegant toes.

Sasaki smiled widely as he dropped his trousers, belt still threaded through the loops and making a soft clink as it hit the floor. Hide blushed deeply beneath Sasaki's appreciative stare, but self-consciousness was far from his mind when all he saw in Sasaki's eyes was affection. Hide stared back, admiring the body that thus far he had only ever seen naked from the waist up. Sasaki had yet to remove his underwear, and Hide could see the other's arousal twitch beneath the fabric. Sasaki smiled at Hide's desire-laden expression and hooked his thumbs into the waistband, edging the boxers over his hips slowly, teasingly, exposing himself little by little. Hide licked his lips as he watched, unaware that he was holding his breath until Sasaki finally let the underwear pool on the floor with his trousers.

Hide's breath left him in a rush. Sasaki was magnificent. "Haise..." he whispered, reaching out to him.

Sasaki leaned over Hide on the couch, one knee planted between Hide's thighs, tantalisingly close to his straining arousal. Resting one hand on the cushions beside Hide's head, Sasaki ducked down and planted a kiss upon his waiting lips. His other hand roamed Hide's chest as they kissed, drinking him in by touch. Hide shuddered when Sasaki's fingers brushed against one of his nipples, so he did it again, then broke the kiss and latched onto the erect nub of flesh with his mouth.

Hide moaned, arching up towards him. A fire raged through his body and his hardened length ached--Sasaki wasn't nearly close enough. Hide reached down and stroked himself, shuddering in pleasure. Sasaki was going to drive him crazy like this. He never realised nipples could be so sensitive. This was all so new...

Sasaki kissed the centre of Hide's chest. He could feel Hide's heart thumping beneath his fingertips, and sensed Hide's need in the heady scent of his sweat.

"I've not done this before," Sasaki whispered softly, feeling the heat creep into his cheeks. He knew how, technically. Knew what was needed--knew it would hurt.

Hide drew Sasaki's mouth to his own, kissing him. "Nor have I," he admitted. He pulled Sasaki flush against him, a jolt running through him as their aching arousals brushed together.

"I don't want to hurt you," Sasaki bucked his hips subconsciously against Hide's.

"I want this, Haise," Hide arched his hips upwards in response.

Sasaki groaned, lowering his head to meet with Hide's insatiable lips once more. Hide's hands were all over his back and ass; Sasaki ground against him and they moaned into each other's mouths, drunk on each other.

"Mm, Hide," Sasaki sighed, heavy-lidded gaze resting upon Hide's flushed face. If he didn't move now, he wouldn't be able to. Sasaki smiled faintly and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "Wait there," he murmured. He got up from the couch awkwardly, arousal almost painful, and bent to kiss Hide's forehead before hurrying to the bathroom. There had to be something that they could use. Baby oil, vaseline, something--

Sasaki stopped when he looked at the shelf over the sink, and let out a soft laugh. The shelf was empty of all but a packet of condoms and a little bottle, and a note reading, 'Don't leave a mess.' Akira had certainly covered all bases. Sasaki carried the items back to the couch, still grinning.

"Akira left us a gift," he muttered, setting the lube and condoms on the coffee table.

Hide smiled, reaching across and catching the box between thumb and forefinger. "Let's not waste it."

"Mm, but let me kiss you again first," Sasaki leaned down and captured Hide's lips with his own, nearly biting him when Hide's hand curled around his length. "Ah, Hide..." Sasaki groaned, bumping noses with him.

Another smile lit up Hide's features. "Feel good?" he stroked Sasaki teasingly.

"Yeah," Sasaki shivered, bracing himself against the back of the couch. Hide's fingers were supple and agile; it was clear he new what he was doing. Sasaki distantly wondered how often Hide had pleasured himself like this, and the mental image aroused him all the more. "Hide," he moaned. "W-wait. Let's do this properly. Let me--" Another moan escaped his lips. "I want to touch you, too, Hide!" he gasped out.

Hide slowed his ministrations and let go of Sasaki's arousal, smiling a little. "You can do that," he murmured, cheeks pink.

"Part your legs for me..." Sasaki shifted to kneel between Hide's thighs, and grabbed the lube from the table.

Hide watched with baited breath as Sasaki snapped open the seal and poured some of the liquid onto his fingers. Meeting his lust-ridden gaze, Sasaki brought his fingers to Hide's puckered entrance, slicking it with lubricant. This was how it was meant to go, right? Judging by the little moan Hide let out when Sasaki slid a finger inside, he was doing okay. Sasaki drew his lube-covered finger in and out of Hide's hot, tight entrance, never once tearing his eyes away from Hide's face. Hide's cheeks burned red, his lips parted and his eyes heavy-lidded with desire. Sasaki could only imagine what Hide would look like once he was inside of him. Reaching down, Sasaki gave himself a few desperate tugs, so aroused that he could hardly bear it anymore. But Hide wasn't ready yet--he needed to wait a little longer.

Sasaki wrapped his hand around Hide's straining erection and began to pump him as he added a second finger to Hide's entrance. Hide moaned, hips arching, entrance contracting around Sasaki's thrusting, scissoring, stretching fingers.

"Haise," Hide whimpered, arousal almost unbearable, body trembling with need. Sasaki's touch was heaven. Letting out another moan, Hide felt his kakugan emerge. He rapidly covered his right eye, breathing tremulous.

"Hide..." Sasaki withdrew his fingers and leaned forward between Hide's legs. He took hold of Hide's hand, drawing it back from his face. "Don't hide it." Sasaki leaned closer, kissing Hide's brow. Sasaki's own kakugan appeared at will, and he smiled gently, red pupil meeting red, black meeting brown. "You're beautiful, Hide."

Hide's heart skipped a beat. He smiled and squeezed Sasaki's hand. "Haise, I..." Hide hooked his legs around Sasaki's hips, holding him there. "I want you inside," he murmured.

"It might hurt..."

"Don't care. Want you."

Hide's voice was so needy that Sasaki knew it would be impossible to deny him. Planting one last kiss upon Hide's lips, Sasaki grabbed the box of condoms. He removed one from the wrapping, dropping the torn square of plastic onto the floor along with the box.

Hide stroked himself as he watched Sasaki roll the latex sheath over his straining length. Sasaki's arousal was bigger than his two fingers; Hide knew it would be uncomfortable, but all he cared about was being joined with him.

Gently, Sasaki lifted Hide's hips. Hide hooked his legs over Sasaki's shoulders. He felt exposed and vulnerable like this, and it was exhilarating. He was completely at Sasaki's mercy, and loved it.

Pressing the tip of his arousal up against Hide's entrance, Sasaki paused. He glanced up at Hide, silently begging for permission.

Hide smiled tenderly and nodded.

Both men moaned when Sasaki began to push inside. Hide hadn't expected it to be quite as painful as this, and he took deep, shaky breaths as he tried to get used to it. He could feel his insides stretching to accommodate Sasaki's girth, and was glad of the once cold lube that aided Sasaki inside.

The sensation of Hide's body closing around his length, hot and tight and moist, sent Sasaki's senses into overdrive. His skin tingled all over, Hide's breathing seemed louder, his image so much clearer. Sasaki could taste his own sweat on his lips, smell the intermingling scent of his and Hide's joined bodies. Sasaki groaned, forcing himself to stop pushing, to let Hide get used to his size. "Okay?" he uttered breathily.

The pain had just begun to ebb away. Hide nodded. "Okay."

Sasaki withdrew almost completely, then pushed inside again, this time a little deeper. Hide whimpered as pain shot through him.

"You're not okay," Sasaki withdrew again, guilty.

"No, keep going," Hide pleaded. "I'll get used to it. Don't stop, Haise." He pushed his hips down, impaling himself further on Sasaki's length.

"If it hurts too much, we'll have to stop," Sasaki murmured.

"It won't. Keep going."

"If you're sure..."

"I'm sure. I need you, Haise."

Biting his lip, Sasaki thrust into him, choking back a moan. Hide's body was glorious, yet it seemed sinful to take so much pleasure in him when Hide himself was in pain. Sasaki reached down and grasped Hide's length, pumping him firmly as he thrust.

Hide moaned loudly, caught up in the mixture of pain and pleasure. But the pain slowly faded as his body became more used to Sasaki being inside of him, and the pleasure only grew greater. Hide groaned and reached for his nipples, pinching and rubbing himself as Sasaki continued to pleasure him.

Seeing the rapturous expression upon Hide's face, Sasaki smiled. His pulse raced, heart beating so fast that it felt ready to burst through his ribcage. Sasaki thrust harder, deeper, amazed when Hide let out an ecstatic cry. He thrust again, aiming for the same place and gaining an even louder shout of delight from Hide.

It was impossible to move anymore. Hide's hands stilled on his chest; all he could do was lay there and moan whilst Sasaki continued to pound into him. Hide watched Sasaki hazily, noting the way Sasaki's lips were parted in a soft 'o' of pleasure, occasionally letting out a delighted groan. Sasaki's kakugan seemed to glow in the dim light of the apartment, bright beneath the tangled black and white mess of his hair.

As Sasaki's thrusting length hit Hide's prostate once more, Hide shuddered. He dropped a hand to his arousal, covering Sasaki's fondling fingers, and urged him to stroke faster. He was so close to meeting that blissful state of orgasm, so desperate to reach with Sasaki what he had only ever reached alone. This was a million times more intense than any of Hide's attempts to pleasure himself. Hide was so ecstatic, so happy to have Sasaki with him like this, that he thought his heart might burst. Sasaki's arousal seemed to penetrate even deeper, hitting his sweet spot harder, causing an even greater wave of pleasure to wash over him. Hide's eyes slid closed as a moan erupted from the back of his throat. He saw stars in the back of his eyelids, another moan escaping his lips as he reached his climax. "Haise--!"

Hide's body contracted tightly around Sasaki's length as he came, spilling over their hands, over his stomach. Sasaki thrust feverishly into the hot, tight passage, the friction sending shockwaves of ecstasy through his body, his lust-addled mind buzzing with elation. The pleasure seemed to build higher and higher in his loins, and just when he felt he might explode from delight, Sasaki came. He choked out a moan, hips jerking as his seed spilled into the condom, hot and wet and slippery, length still sheathed in Hide's tightness.

Panting heavily, Sasaki's movements stilled. His eyes met with Hide's again and they shared a euphoric smile.

"Hide..." Sasaki sighed, unable to stop smiling. "You're amazing." He slipped out of Hide's entrance and peeled off the condom, dropping it into the mess of clothes on the floor. It could be tidied up later; right now he only wanted Hide.

There was a box of tissues on the table, and Hide swiped one, wiping himself clean. He reached for Sasaki's hand, still covered with his seed, but Sasaki shook his head and brought his fingers to his lips. He wanted to taste this secret part of Hide, and upon licking at the whitish liquid, found that Hide tasted delicious. Sasaki almost regretted letting Hide clean himself up. But now Hide was holding out his arms, and smiling in that open, adoring way that Sasaki simply couldn't resist. He lay down on top of Hide, kissed him, let himself be cradled in Hide's arms. Sasaki realised how worn out he felt now, and noticed from the happy, dozy look in Hide's eyes that Hide felt the same.

"Let's stay like this a while," Hide murmured softly.

Sasaki nuzzled Hide's shoulder and closed his eyes, body warmed by the afterglow of sex. Hide's strong arms felt protective and possessive, and Sasaki let out a content sigh, soon lulled to sleep by his lover's heartbeat.

 

Arima scowled at the collection of photographs before him. They were excellent definition even when the details were enlarged, and clearly depicted what Arima had been hoping for: Sasaki in the company of ghouls, and a CCG defector. He'd known from the start that Sasaki had some kind of involvement with Hideyoshi Nagachika, and now he had proof that not only were they connected, but _romantically_ involved.

What bothered Arima was that shortly after those photographs were taken, the mission had failed. Sasaki and Nagachika had been taken away by an unidentified van. Whether they'd been abducted or helped was yet to be discovered, but Arima suspected the latter. The problem was, Arima had no evidence to suggest who else had been involved. He only knew that somehow, somebody had found out about his plan.

Brushing the photographs aside, Arima began to fill out an arrest warrant for Haise Sasaki, under suspicion of collaborating with ghouls. If that didn't bring him in, Arima would track the man down himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Arima is the absolute biggest asshole ever. You will hate him. I know I do.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Using any bullying means possible, Arima interrogates Mutsuki over his recent work within the CCG's archives, whilst back at the Chateau, the team read over Arima's _real_ personnel file. 
> 
> (Please see the notes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for transphobia.   
> I'll stick a trigger-free summary of this chapter in the end notes for any that don't care to read that particular scene. Transphobia is 100% not cool (and Arima is a grade-A dick).

Mutsuki had been working in the archives all day, going through folders at a snail's pace. Akira had told him not to use the computerised search to find reference numbers, but to use the old-fashioned record card system that was tucked away at the back of the first floor. The system was no longer used and had been more or less forgotten--an obsolete relic of the pre-computerised CCG, no longer updated and yet to be removed. Thankfully the bureau had only stopped updating it over the past five years, not too early for some of the files he sought. 'Reaper' had turned up after only a little searching, and Mutsuki had found the related file easily.

Akira had come along late that afternoon to collect the folder. Bureau rules stated that archived documents couldn't be removed, only copied, but Akira had no time to stick to rules. She used the same trick as last time: swapped archived contents for the contents of her folder, this time blank paper. It could always be put back later.

Mutsuki still had more to look up when Akira arrived, so his superior had left him to look deeper into the records for anything he could find on the Washuu Clan.

After going through the record cards with a fine-toothed comb and finding nothing, Mutsuki had to admit defeat.

On his way out of the archives, Mutsuki yawned and stretched his arms above his head, back aching. He looked forward to getting home and having a long, hot shower. Possibly with Shirazu.

"Mutsuki. I want a word with you" Arima stood before the exit, one hand on his hip and a determined expression on his face. Mutsuki cringed beneath his gaze. He'd never really liked Arima, and after flipping through his file - the real one, for Reaper - Mutsuki understood why.

"Arima...sir," Mutsuki nodded.

"This way." Arima ushered Mutsuki into an empty office and pointed to a chair. "Sit down."

Tense, Mutsuki obeyed. He trembled inwardly, and fought to stop his fear from showing as Arima stalked around him. "You've been spending a lot of time in the archives recently, Mutsuki."

"Yes, sir."

"Tell me, why did you look up Haise Sasaki?"

Mutsuki looked up in surprise. So it was true, Arima really did snoop on people's searches. When Akira had told him, it had seemed too incredible to believe.

"Sasaki's file?" Mutsuki asked, mind racing to find an answer. "Well, he's always looking out for us and we thought we'd do something nice for him. So I checked out his file in the hope of finding some family to invite over for dinner, to surprise him..."

"I see." Arima continued to circle around him. "Mutsuki, Dr Shiba recently reported that he found his files disorganised when he went to his office. Since you appear to be rather interested in filing, would you know anything about that?"

Mutsuki blinked and shook his head. "No, sir."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're lying? You have a chance to tell me the truth, Mutsuki. I really don't like liars."

"It is the truth." Mutsuki pursed his lips.

"Of course it is," There was a note of sarcasm in Arima's tone. He stopped before Mutsuki and fixed him with a cold, piercing stare. "It must be terribly hard to put up with wearing that eyepatch all day," Arima commented. "You can take it off, if you want."

Mutsuki shook his head, afraid his voice might crack if he tried to speak. There was no warmth in Arima's gaze, no compassion. The investigator's eyes were stone cold and deathlike, too knowing and frightening.

"Suit yourself." Arima shrugged, half-turning away as if deep in thought. "I suppose you put yourself through a lot of discomfort, don't you, Mutsuki? It must be terribly hard to continue your little charade..." He glanced at Mutsuki and smirked at the frown on his face. "I know all about your wish to live life as a man. If you want to live as a man, Mutsuki, you need to try harder. I wonder what your colleagues would say if they knew?"

"The squad know. Sasaki and Mado know," Mutsuki replied quietly, inwardly boiling over with rage. If he hadn't been so terrified, and Arima not his superior, he would have let out his kagune and attacked him for what he said. Mutsuki wouldn't let anybody try to bully him over his gender. He'd been through it too many times.

"Wouldn't it be terrible if everybody found out? You'd have to return to living as a woman."

Mutsuki shook his head, gaze furious. "It was agreed when I joined up that I could live as a man. I _am_ a man, Arima-- _sir,_ " he bit out. "If the rest of the bureau finds out, it will help me see who is open-minded and who is not worth my time." Mutsuki had endured conversations like these before. It was nothing new, though it didn't stop Arima's words from biting to the core.

"I see. That's very brave of you. Manly, almost," Arima chuckled. "So the squad know..." he tilted his head. "You're rather close to Ginshi Shirazu, aren't you? The pair of you are practically joined at the hip."

"He's our squad leader. We work well together."

Arima smirked. "It's wonderful that you get on so well with your squad. Don't you ever worry that Shirazu is only interested in you as a woman?"

"He knows that I'm a man," Mutsuki replied gruffly. But it didn't stop a little seed of doubt from burrowing into his mind.

"Good man, that Ginshi Shirazu. Putting his life on the line for his sister's sake," Arima smiled, but the expression was anything but kind. "Let's hope nothing happens to her before he can achieve a better rate of pay, hm? It would be terrible if she should die..."

Mutsuki's eyes widened. Surely Arima wasn't threatening to kill Haru? That wasn't fair!

"Such a good, _good_ man..." Arima chuckled. "Where is he right now? I'm surprised you're not together."

"Home, probably." Mutsuki shrugged, finding it hard to meet Arima's gaze.

"A good place to be at a time like this. Nice and safe..." Arima's tone of voice made Mutsuki's heart turn cold. "Pity his sister can't be in a safer environment, isn't it? Trapped in that bed, fed by a tube, unable to fend for herself..." He tilted his head. "Of course, the bureau could always _help_ Haru Shirazu, should the right agreements be made, don't you think?" Arima arched a brow, eyeing the way Mutsuki squirmed in his seat. "Ah, but I lost track of our conversation. You were telling me why you looked up Haise Sasaki's personnel file."

Mutsuki took a sharp breath. Arima couldn't threaten Haru! It would break Shirazu if he lost his sister. That's if Arima didn't plan to kill Shirazu too. Mutsuki frowned. He couldn't betray everyone!

"Do you need a little something to jog your memory?" Arima narrowed his eyes and stepped up to the computer on the desk. He logged in and a video appeared on screen. Mutsuki realised with horror that it was a live feed of a sniper's viewfinder. In the greenish night vision image, the Chateau was clearly recognisable. Within the crosshairs of the rifle was Shirazu, seated on the couch, his back to the window. Mutsuki paled.

"Do you remember now, Mutsuki?" Arima stood beside the computer, a predatory gaze in his eyes. "Or do you need more persuasion?" He tapped a button on the keyboard and the image on the screen splintered into four, each depicting slightly different views. Mutsuki gasped in shock. Arima had snipers trained on Urie, Akira and Saiko, too. He planned to kill off the whole team.

Mutsuki despised him. "I...I wanted to find out the truth about who he is," Mutsuki uttered, glancing at the screen and wishing the snipers away. "It was me who looked at Dr. Shiba's files, too."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Arima smiled, dangerously pleasant, and sat down opposite him. "Do go on, Mutsuki. I believe there's more."

Shoulders slumping, Mutsuki continued. "I thought something was going on with Sasaki. He's secretive, so I figured I'd find information in his personnel file. I wanted to know what his connection was with somebody he had us take care of."

"And who would that be?"

Mutsuki lowered his head, hating himself. "Hideyoshi Nagachika."

 

Shirazu yawned and dropped a folder back onto the table. "Still can't believe this Reaper file..." he muttered.

"It's tough to swallow, huh?" Akira nodded, not looking up from her work. "Saiko, save some of that pizza for Mutsuki. He'll be hungry when he gets home." She leaned over to Urie, head close, pointing at a file. "See if you can find any links here, Urie."

Saiko smiled a little guiltily and closed the pizza box. "Is Maman going to be okay, Akira?" she asked, for what was probably the twentieth time that evening.

Urie rolled his eyes and stood up. "This is going nowhere. I'm going to train."

"Hey, wait a minu--" Akira scowled as the door shut behind the Quinx. "Yes, Saiko. Haise is going to be fine. We'll sort out this mess."

Saiko nodded, chewing on pizza. "Can I learn to drive soon, do you think?"

"Possibly. In a small car," Akira nodded. "Wait until this is over. Then we'll sort it out with the bureau."

As the two women talked, Shirazu fell quiet. He wondered where Sasaki was. Akira hadn't told them--said it was safer that as few people knew as possible. Shirazu hoped Mutsuki would be home soon. He didn't like the thought of him working alone at the archives so late. It wasn't that Mutsuki couldn't take care of himself, but as they'd recently found out, there were a lot of dangerous people at the bureau. Should their work be discovered, Shirazu feared they could easily be the next to disappear like Amon had.

Shirazu picked up the Reaper file again, and re-read its contents. Arima's name wasn't mentioned, but there was enough photographic evidence to reveal that it was him.

Trying to stop himself worrying over Mutsuki, Shirazu began to take notes.

_"Reaper: once a full ghoul, selected for recruitment by the bureau for top secret hybridisation experiment. Chosen at a young age for compatibility and his hatred for his own kind. Reaper demanded an eye transplant and removal of his kakuhou in order to appear more human. Eye transplant resulted in long-sightedness. Kakuhou removal only in part--was discovered full removal would result in death in his case. Partial removal rendered the organ useless. RC count controlled with suppressants. Uses 'uppers' to increase RC count for battle. Reaper always known to fight with quinque, even before joining CCG. Highly skilled, highly intelligent, trained and educated by bureau to rival legendary Yoshiu Washuu."_

Shirazu closed the folder. The reference to a member of the Washuu clan set off alarm bells in his head. Or maybe it was the thought of Mutsuki, working alone, on the same site as an investigator with a reputation for being unbeaten. Shirazu had seen Arima in battle. Nobody stood a chance against him. Shirazu hoped Arima kept well away from his partner.

 

"...and so I realised there were empty files, and files with a lot of medical stuff missing, and so Sasaki did some research and found even more. That's why I looked at Dr Shiba's files."

"And Akira Mado?"

Mutsuki pursed his lips and nodded, defeated. He couldn't lie anymore. His mind was pushed to its limit, resolve worn away by Arima's dangerous smile and threatening comments. Mutsuki couldn't allow Arima to harm Shirazu or the others--or anyone, really. Mutsuki felt weak for caving to the threat, undeserving of his uniform, unworthy of Shirazu's love, and even worse, unmanly. He should have found some other way.

"And Shirazu, too?" Arima tilted his head, eyeing Mutsuki knowingly.

"No, he has no idea," Mutsuki uttered feebly.

"So why did a security guard witness him leaving with you and Mado, on the night the files in question are believed to have been disrupted."

Mutsuki shook his head, unable to meet Arima's gaze. "I...I left him behind, and fetched him later."

"Really..."

"Really!"

Arima turned his gaze to the computer screen again, where three of the snipers still had their weapons trained upon Akira, Shirazu and Saiko. "They seem rather interested in their work, don't they?" Arima uttered idly. He took a radio from his pocket and spoke into it. "Sniper Three, report visual on Target C."

"This is sniper three. Visual on Target C lost. Seeking Target C."

"I'm waiting. Snipers One, Two and Four stand by."

"Seriously, he has nothing to do with it!" Mutsuki exclaimed loudly, tears welling up in his eyes. "I swear on my life!"

Arima turned his back to the computer and loomed over him. "You swear on your life, Mutsuki? That's a very brave, passionate vow."

"It's true!" Mutsuki sobbed.

Arima smiled slowly and patted Mutsuki's head. "Good girl. Maybe you'll be a man someday. Now then. I want you to bring to me a list of all the files you have looked at. Then you're going to visit Dr Shiba with me, and we can forget about this whole thing."

Terrified, Mutsuki nodded. He now understood why Hide had been so frightened of the CCG. Arima wasn't the CCG's reaper, he was the devil incarnate.

"You may go." Arima took a step back.

Mutsuki couldn't get out of the room fast enough. He raced through the automatic doors and out into the night air, tears streaming down his face. He had to warn the others! Taking out his phone, Mutsuki fumbled to dial the Chateau, but he shook so much that his grip faltered. The phone fell from his trembling hands and smashed on the ground.

Mutsuki let out a cry and sank to his knees.

 

Back in the archive office, Arima smirked, satisfied by his interrogation. Mutsuki had obviously been lying about the involvement of his squad. It would be a pity to lose such promising experiments as the Quinx, but there would be more, soon enough.

On the monitor behind him, one of the sniper feeds went black. Arima turned back to the screen just in time to see the second feed go out. He scowled and lifted the radio. "Sniper Three, report!"

He was answered by nothing but static.

Irritated, Arima spoke into the radio again. "Sniper Two, repo--Sniper Four?" A third screen juddered and turned black. Only one remained: the feed from sniper one, still trained on the back of Ginshi Shirazu's head.

Arima smiled. "Sniper One?"

The sniper shifted in his place, frowning as he heard Arima's frustrated words towards the others. He didn't know what was happening, but it sounded as though the three others sent on this mission - men as anonymous as himself, working for an equally anonymous employer - had lost their nerve. Not so as seasoned a hitman as himself. This man would take out his own family if he was paid enough. "Target A in sight, sir," he spoke into his headset.

"Fire when ready."

"Roger that."

The sniper peered through the viewfinder, sharp eyes catching his target directly in the centre of the crosshairs. He rested his finger on the trigger, inhaled, exhaled--then felt a rush of air against his face as something came hurtling towards him.

The gun went off, and the sniper collapsed on the ground, neck broken. Dead.

A deformed, three-fingered hand reached down and pulled the headset from the sniper's body.

 

"Sniper One! Report!" Arima snapped. He stared at the black screen before him. What had happened? The crack that came over the radio waves had been uncannily like the breaking of bones. "Sniper One!" he barked again.

There was static from the radio, and then a voice spoke up, low and grave. "Mission aborted."

Arima switched the radio off and set it slowly on the desk. He'd recognised that voice, and he didn't like it one bit.

 

Shirazu was motionless on the couch, blood staining his t-shirt.

A coffee cup lay smashed on the ground, one curved fragment slowly spinning to a stop in a puddle of dark liquid.

Akira and Saiko stared, horrified into silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Summary:**  
>  Arima corners Mutsuki at the archives and bullies/blackmails him into telling all by saying nasty things and threatening to kill Akira and the other Qs--he has snipers all around the Chateau. Mutsuki breaks down under the pressure and tells him everything. (See, I told you Arima is a grade-A dick).   
> Meanwhile, the Qs and Akira are looking at Arima's personnel file, which is named 'Reaper'. He's a ghoul, who has had eye transplants and partial kakuhou removal to make himself appear human. He takes RC suppressants to control his RC Cell count, but uses enhancers to up his count during battle.  
> Once Mutsuki has told all, Arima sends him away to gather all the information he'd found in the archives. Mutsuki tries to call the Chateau but is so distressed he breaks his phone.   
> Arima contacts the snipers, but only one of four is responding--the sniper whose gun is trained upon Shirazu. Arima tells the man to fire when ready. The sniper prepares, but is attacked as he fires, and killed by a certain character with a deformed, three-fingered hand. Over the radio, a worryingly familiar voice tells Arima, 'Mission aborted.'   
> At the Chateau, Shirazu is still, blood across his shirt, whilst Saiko and Akira stare in silence.
> 
>  
> 
> I'll say it again: Transphobia is 100% not cool. Don't be a dick like Arima. You're better than him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whilst Akira and Saiko tend to Shirazu, Urie goes looking for the snipers. In shock, all Shirazu can think of is Mutsuki.  
> Arima pays a visit to Shiba to pick up a package, and Mutsuki laments over what he has done.  
> Unaware of the world outside, Sasaki and Hide remain together at the apartment, uninterrupted by anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts* As per last chapter, a trigger-free summary is in the end notes.
> 
> *They're not suicidal thoughts per se, but depressive ones that could be interpreted that way despite a will to live, if that makes sense. Depression sucks.

"Shirazu, Saiko! Get down!" Akira yelled, coming to her senses.

Shirazu didn't move. He was too busy staring at the bullet that had embedded itself in the wall opposite, unaware that he'd been hit and was bleeding.

Crawling across to the couch, Saiko grabbed Shirazu by the collar and pulled him onto the floor, out of sight of the windows. Colliding with the floorboards snapped Shirazu out of his stupor, and he let out a cry of alarm.

"Shit! We're being shot at!" He looked about wildly.

"Stay down!" Akira shouted. She had crouched down in the kitchen, beside the mess of coffee and broken china. Akira had just refilled her cup when the bullet flew through the window. It had torn through the tip of Shirazu's ear, finally coming to a stop in the wall beside the TV.

Akira's mind raced. Who was responsible for this? Had Arima discovered something? But this was too brazen to be Arima's work. Arima was more underhanded, and had always given the impression that if he wanted to kill someone, he'd kill them himself. Aogiri, then. That group would stop at nothing, would they? The SS-rated ghoul the team had been pursuing was believed to be tied to Aogiri. But why attack here, and with a sniper? It didn't make sense.

Shirazu lay on the floor in front of the couch, curled up and shaking. His ear hurt. Why did his ear hurt? And why did his shoulder feel wet? Shirazu touched his ear, hissing in pain when his fingers touched the wound. "Fuck..." He shuddered.

"Shirazu is bleeding!" Saiko called across the Akira. "They got his ear!"

"Are they still shooting?" Shirazu asked tremulously.

Pouting, Saiko wrapped an arm around him. "I don't think so."

Akira looked toward the window, worried. "I think it was just the one bullet."

Urie stuck his head into the room. "What's with all the noise?" he demanded. Then he saw the three investigators crouched on the floor, saw the broken cup and the spilt coffee, and Shirazu's blood. Urie's expression hardened.

"Someone tried to shoot Shirazu," Saiko told him. Shirazu let out a whimper, cupping a hand over his bloody ear.

"The shot came through the window. The sniper may still be out there," Akira explained, face pale. "Saiko, take care of Shirazu and stay down. Urie and I will investigate."

Urie shook his head. "I'll go alone."

"We work in pairs, Urie," Akira told him, a burr of irritation rising amidst the shock and concern.

"Not today. You should stay here, safe." Urie motioned to Shirazu. "Anyway, he needs medical attention. I won't be noticed, but two of us will."

"Urie, I'm ordering you--Damn it!" Akira thumped the counter when Urie ignored her and walked out. It was no wonder Sasaki had demoted him from squad leader. Though she supposed he had a point. Shirazu was still bleeding, and clearly in shock. "Shirazu," Akira called softly. "Can you get into the bathroom? We need to clean you up. Saiko, help him. But stay out of view of the windows."

"Come on, Shirazu..." Saiko nudged the squad leader, who had curled up into a tight ball when Urie and Akira were talking. He unfolded now, under Saiko's coaxing, and crawled numbly with her towards the bathroom.

After waiting a moment to be certain no more bullets were going to rocket through the window, Akira snuck after them.

The bathroom felt safe. The window there was only small, the glass mottled to prevent anyone seeing inside. Although the room was warm, Shirazu still shook as Akira guided him to sit on the edge of the bath.

"Saiko, where is the first aid kit? And can you fetch a blanket for him?"

Saiko tugged the first aid kit from the cupboard and left the room, ducking down as she entered the hall.

"I'm n-not cold..." Shirazu mumbled. Perspiration beaded his brow, and he balled his hands into tight fists.

"You're in shock," Akira said gently. "Try to take some deep breaths, okay? You're safe, Shirazu."

"I'm bleeding..."

Saiko returned with a blanket, and wrapped it around Shirazu's shoulders. "Shall I call the bureau?" she asked Akira.

"No. I want to find out who is responsible for this, first." Akira looked grim, eyeing the way Shirazu's blood was now staining the blanket instead of his shirt. "Alright, Saiko, go grab some warm, comfortable clothes for Shirazu. You'll want to change your clothes, right?" she smiled at Shirazu kindly as she opened the first aid kit. "I'm going to clean up your ear, and then you can change into something clean and comfortable. Once Urie has checked it's safe out there, we'll make you some hot, sweet tea and put you to bed."

Shirazu nodded, but watched warily as Akira took out antiseptic and swabs.

"This is going to hurt a little," she warned softly, reflecting that the sting wasn't half as bad as a bullet--or the bite of a ghoul.

Shirazu whimpered in pain when Akira started cleaning up the wound. She pursed her lips as she wiped the blood away, finding that the bullet had taken out the tip of Shirazu's ear.

"It's alright," Akira murmured. "Nearly done. I just need to put on a bandage to keep it clean. You're doing good."

Shirazu blinked and looked around. "...where's Tooru?"

"He's still at the archives, remember?"

"He's not safe!" Shirazu jumped to his feet, upsetting the first aid kit.

"Mutsuki will be fine," Akira reassured him, resting her hands on his shoulders. "Sit down. You're still bleeding."

Panic rose in Shirazu's chest. "I have to find him!" He pushed Akira away, barging past Saiko as she returned with fresh clothes.

"Shirazu!" Akira raced after him, but Shirazu was already out of the front door, tossing aside the bloodstained blanket and disappearing into the darkness.

Urie stepped inside, a puzzled look upon his face. "What got into him?"

"He asked about Mutsuki and took off," Akira sighed. "We need to go after him. He's in shock, and still bleeding. Did you see which way he went?"

Urie shook his head. "I didn't see," he lied. It might work in his favour if Shirazu proved himself irresponsible in a crisis. Besides, Shirazu wasn't a _complete_ idiot. If he wanted to run off into the night, he could take care of himself.

"He's probably going to the archives," Akira said, slipping on her shoes. "We'll go there and--"

"There are four dead snipers outside," Urie cut in.

"Dead?" Saiko peeked from behind Akira.

Akira's brows rose. "One for each of us... Whoever is responsible for this knew how many people would be in the house."

"Unless they were sent for the squad, and mistook you for one of us Quinx," Urie mused.

Akira sighed. "Are they human? Ghoul?"

"Human. But there are ghouls about. I can smell them." Urie wrinkled his nose.

"Then we need to find Shirazu. He's vulnerable."

"He will be fine."

Akira narrowed her eyes, disliking Urie's attitude. "He's your squad leader, Urie."

"Akira?" Saiko stepped between them. "I think Urie is right. Shirazu needs Mutsuki. Only Mutsuki can calm him down."

"I can't believe you two are going against me!" Akira exclaimed. "Stay here then. I'll go to find him by myself."

She grabbed her bag and stalked outside.

"It isn't safe alone, Akira!" Urie called after her.

Akira glanced back. "Exactly!"

A few metres down the road, Akira found the pavement covered in blood. A sniper's rifle lay just off to the side, partially concealed by bushes.

Urie strolled up behind her. "This was where I found the first sniper," he said seriously.

"So where is he?"

"I told you there are ghouls about..." Urie tilted his head. "I'll deal with them."

Akira thought of Sasaki and Hide, hidden away in her father's apartment. She thought of the conversation about gathering meat from dead humans. "No," she said softly. "Leave them be. They aren't harming anyone."

"They're _ghouls_ ," Urie pointed out.

Anger rose in Akira's heart. She had endured more than enough of Urie's callousness for one day. Would Urie be so heartless if he knew of Sasaki's needs?

"Yes," Akira snapped. "They're ghouls. And they're preying on dead bodies. Let them! It will save us from having to clean up."

Urie frowned, pursed his lips, then nodded. "I see your point."

"Good. Go back inside and work on that list with Saiko. I want to know everybody involved."

Urie grunted, and turned back to the open door of the Chateau, where Saiko stood watching.

With a sigh, Akira turned in the opposite direction and began to jog towards the headquarters.

Three blocks down the road, she realised she was being followed. But Akira felt safe. She always did.

 

Arima strode through the corridor, deep in thought. The mission at the Chateau had failed, that much was clear. But he had Mutsuki under his power now. The young investigator had crumbled rapidly when Shirazu had been threatened. It was obvious their relationship had become more than professional. That, or Mutsuki really did have the brave, delicious heart of a man. Arima decided he would find out, once Mutsuki had brought him the information he required. Shiba was sure to oblige in providing the heart to him, once the specimen known as Tooru Mutsuki had been retrieved and dissected.

It was almost a shame that the Quinx experiments were going to fail. RC Cell Over-Secretion Disease popped up so unexpectedly, and the squad were surely due for some vaccinations from the kind Dr Shiba. Between them, he and Shiba could easily deal with the failed sniper mission. The Quinx would be removed. Now Arima only had to deal with Akira, and ferret out Sasaki and Nagachika.

He rather regretted having to lose Sasaki. The man had been so promising, and sparring had always been rather fun. But like others before him, Sasaki had begun to think for himself, had become too curious, and found out things he shouldn't ever have known. Arima would have to start looking for a new protégé.

But first, he had to meet with Dr Shiba.

Arima left the headquarters and wandered through the streets for some time, turning this way and that, sometimes doubling back on himself. Nobody ever followed him.

Eventually, Arima came to a stop at a run down butchers shop. The stench from the back alley was as disgusting as ever, and he grimaced as he stepped around a pile of rotting meat that had fallen from an overturned trash can. Humans sickened him as much as ghouls did.

Reaching the rear door of the shop, Arima rapped hard upon it. "It's Reaper," he called out.

Shiba opened the door, wearing a butcher's apron and holding a meat cleaver. "It's not ready yet," he explained, closing the door after Arima and walking into the back room. A mess of flesh and bone lay on the butcher's block, the smell far more appealing than anything outside.

"I can wait," Arima replied. He picked up a lump of flesh from the table, holding it between thumb and forefinger as he studied it "Tender, this one. Good diet. The thigh, yes?"

Shiba nodded, raising the cleaver and bringing it down on the limb he was working with.

Arima popped the piece of meat into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully whilst Shiba continued to work. "...it's good," he commented. "You chose well."

"I know my patients," Shiba smiled. "And I know my clients."

Arima licked a drop of blood from his lips. "Speaking of patients, have you dealt with the files?"

"All destroyed," Shiba confirmed. He tossed some waste gristle into a nearby bin and began wrapping the meat in brown, greaseproof paper. "Burned them myself."

"We've known for years that we shouldn't have kept that data..."

"It's been necessary," Shiba replied. "A helpful reference sometimes, especially with Eyepatch."

"It has proved a helpful reference to those who would go against us, too. We need to deal with them, Shiba." Arima narrowed his eyes.

Shiba bagged up the meat and handed it to him. "And so we shall. I'll arrange for the Quinx Squad to visit for an emergency medical. I'm sure they don't have their vaccinations yet. People have such bad reactions to drugs these days."

Arima smiled. "I'm glad we're on the same page."

Giving Shiba a nod, he walked out of the butcher shop, the taste of succulent human flesh still on his tongue.

 

Shirazu raced towards the archive building, heart pounding and blood rushing in his ears. Blood was _dripping_ from his ear, too, but he barely noticed. Lungs burning, he ran into the archives. The help desk was unmanned at this time of night, and Shirazu raced from room to room, rattling doors that were locked and startling the occasional late-worker still toiling away on a case.

But there was no sign of Mutsuki.

Worried, Shirazu retraced his steps and went outside. Where was Mutsuki? Was he hurt? Shirazu turned around in a circle, disoriented. Mutsuki couldn't have gone home--they would have passed each other. So where was he? Shirazu took out his phone and tried Mutsuki's number, but the call wouldn't dial through.

"Tooru!" Shirazu shouted, walking further away from the building. His foot crunched on something, an Shirazu looked down to see a phone. It was Mutsuki's--he recognised the green, sword-wielding bunny charm attached to the case. The phone was smashed, but Shirazu didn't think he'd broken it. There were too many pieces. Shirazu picked up the broken device, cradling it in his hands. A bad feeling rose up in the pit of his stomach. Something had happened here.

"Tooru!" Shirazu yelled, louder this time. Then he took off running, mind racing. Mutsuki had to be somewhere. Shirazu would keep running until he found him.

 

Miles away, oblivious to the dramas unfolding amongst their allies, Hide lay awake, arms wrapped securely around Sasaki's sleeping form. They were still on the couch, and hadn't moved since their love-making had drawn to a close. Both had slept for a while, but Hide had awoken a while ago, and lay there thinking.

Being with Sasaki in this way was wonderful. Although his lower body ached from Sasaki's penetration, Hide would do it again in a heartbeat.

Hide realised that he could never have been with Kaneki in this way. But it was no longer Kaneki he loved like that. Kaneki had long been the past, when it came to affairs of the heart. Hide had stopped moping over his beloved friend soon after he accepted that Kaneki would never return. Anyway, how could he desire somebody no longer around, when Sasaki was right there, attractive and strong and brave and giving all the right signals? Hide had frightened himself with how hard and fast he'd fallen for Sasaki. But he wouldn't have it any other way. That Sasaki cared about him too was an absolute blessing. That they could make love and lay together like this was pure heaven.

Hide smiled and pressed a kiss to Sasaki's forehead. Sasaki knew everything, and still accepted him. Hide would protect him with everything he had--even if it meant coming up against Arima.

Sasaki's eyes fluttered open, and he smiled sleepily. "Hey," he murmured, heart skipping a beat as his mind caught up with all they had done together. "Feeling okay?"

"I'm good, yeah." Another smile lit up Hide's face. He stroked Sasaki's back idly. "How about you?"

"Fantastic..." Sasaki sighed in contentment and shifted a little to get more comfortable. He tangled their legs together and nuzzled Hide's shoulder. "Mm...We should probably shower and clean up before Akira gets here."

"We've got hours yet," Hide buried his nose in Sasaki's hair, inhaling his scent. "It's still night."

Sasaki smiled. "I've lost track of the time." He lifted his head and kissed Hide softly. He didn't want this night to end. Within hours, Akira would show up and they would have to get to work, maybe move from there, go somewhere else, fight for their freedom and safety. Sasaki had been trained to fight, trained to kill, but he didn't want that. He just wanted Hide, and more peaceful, contented moments like this.

Sasaki broke the kiss and took a soft breath, gazing at Hide with affection in his eyes. Hide's tender smile warmed Sasaki's heart, and when Hide craned his neck for another kiss, Sasaki eagerly kissed back.

Sasaki's fingers slid into Hide's hair, and one kiss became two, which melted into another, as the cloud-cloaked moon sailed slowly across the sky.

 

Mutsuki sat on the bridge, legs dangling over the edge as he stared brokenly at the water that rushed by below. Guilt weighed heavily in his chest, squeezing his heart in a sharp, suffocating grasp. He was a failure. Worse than that: he was a traitor.

"Sasaki, Akira...I'm sorry..." Mutsuki mumbled, a lump forming in his throat. Tears slid down his cheeks, stinging his eyes, dripping from his chin to soak into his uniform. "Ginshi--" Mutsuki sobbed, pushing his hands into his hair, tugging at it in distress. Just thinking about Shirazu was painful. That tall, lanky body, his jagged-toothed smile, his conscientious and warm-hearted personality... Mutsuki hugged himself. He'd tried to shield Shirazu from danger, tried to convince Arima that Shirazu had nothing to do with the secret investigation. But Arima had figured it out anyway. Even though Mutsuki had sworn on his life. Not that his life was going to be worth anything now. Arima would have him killed, Mutsuki knew it. That or he'd have his memory wiped, like Sasaki, which was equal to death anyway.

Mutsuki didn't want to die that way.

Heaving a shaky sigh, Mutsuki looked glumly at the dark waters of the river. Everything he had strived for was falling apart. Everyone important to him was in danger, if not already dead. He'd failed to warn the squad about those snipers. He'd betrayed Sasaki, the kind mentor he looked upon as family, and Hide, for whom Sasaki cared deeply. He'd betrayed Akira, the brave and clever superior who spoke to him like an equal. Capable Urie, surprising Saiko, and his own Ginshi, darling Ginshi--he'd betrayed them all. Mutsuki could never face them again, if they were even still alive.

So what did he have left?

He wouldn't go back, wouldn't die by Arima's hand.

Which left him only one other option.

Mutsuki wished that he could see Shirazu one last time. But what use would that be? Shirazu didn't think of him as a man, Arima had said so. Shirazu wanted him as a woman. But they'd been naked together countless times, completely naked: nothing to mould his chest into a masculine shape, nothing to give the illusion of the missing appendage in his underpants that he should have been born with. Had Shirazu thought of him as a woman then? Or was he still a man to him, despite everything in his physical appearance that said otherwise? Shirazu had always made love to him as a man did to a man. Had Shirazu really liked that? Had he always wished to make love as a man and a woman, instead? Arima pretty much said that was the case, didn't he? And Arima was clever, albeit a bastard. He knew what he was talking about, didn't he?

Mutsuki sniffled, swiping tears from his uncovered eye with the back of his hand. He left the other unwiped, still covered by the leather eyepatch Sasaki had so kindly given to him at Christmas. Mutsuki appreciated the eyepatch, but he hated the eye it hid, that uncontrollable ghoul-mark that made it so hard to fit into society.

But Mutsuki supposed he didn't have to fit in anymore.

Tears dripping from the edge of the leather, he shifted forward, balancing precariously on the edge. The deep, rushing water seemed to become louder, faster, darker as he watched it: enticing. Welcoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Summary**  
>  The bullet hit Shirazu's ear, though it takes Shirazu a while to even realise he has been hit--he's in shock. Urie goes outside to check for snipers, meanwhile Akira tends to Shirazu's injury and sends Saiko to find him a blanket and clean clothes. Midway through being cleaned up, Shirazu freaks out and runs off in search of Mutsuki, certain something has happened to him. Urie returns and says there are 4 dead snipers outside. He refuses to help look for Shirazu. Saiko agrees that only Mutsuki can calm Shirazu down, so Akira goes after Shirazu alone. She finds where a dead sniper has been; Urie says ghouls are about. Akira realises they're scavenging and tells him to let them be. She notices she's being followed again, but she still feels safe.  
> Arima visits Shiba in a backstreet butcher's. Shiba gives him a package of human meat and confirms that he's erased or burned all the files relating to the experiments.  
> Shirazu is still hunting for Mutsuki, and fears the worst when he discovers Mutsuki's broken phone.  
> Sasaki and Hide wake up in the middle of the night and are fluffy and cute together.  
> Mutsuki sits alone, feeling miserable.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirazu is in shock, Mutsuki is miserable. Only they can soothe each other's ills. Unable to find any sign of them, Akira gives up her search and returns to oversee Urie and Saiko. The hour is late, and Shirazu and Mutsuki still haven't come home...

"Tooru!"

Strong arms grabbed hold of Mutsuki, dragging him back from the edge. Taken by surprise, Mutsuki stumbled, and they fell backwards with a thump.

"Let me go," Mutsuki gasped croakily, struggling to get to his feet.

But the arms tightened around him, holding him there. "Tooru...Oh god, Tooru, I thought something had happened to you..." Shirazu held Mutsuki tighter, uncomfortably so, but not caring. Tears escaped his eyes and dripped onto the pavement. His breathing was laboured and he trembled uncontrollably.

"Ginshi..." Mutsuki whispered. A sob escaped his lips. "You're...you're here..."

"I've been looking everywhere. I found your phone..." Shirazu sighed and pressed a kiss to the side of Mutsuki's head.

Mutsuki closed his eyes. So the snipers had only been a threat. Arima had used them to make him talk.

But he was still a traitor.

Now that he'd found Mutsuki, Shirazu began to calm down. He didn't know what Mutsuki had been doing on the bridge, but the important thing was Mutsuki was alive and unhurt. Safe.

The moment Shirazu's arms relaxed their hold, Mutsuki jerked out of the embrace and started to run. He heard Shirazu's shout of confusion, and tears streamed down his face at leaving him behind, but Mutsuki couldn't stop. Everybody would be better off without him.

Shirazu raced after his partner. He didn't understand why Mutsuki wanted to run away, but knew something was wrong. Mutsuki never ran from anything. Shirazu was already exhausted from running in search of Mutsuki; his legs were like lead and his lungs felt raw and painful. But he couldn't stop. He wouldn't let Mutsuki run away from him. If Mutsuki were ever to run away, Shirazu wanted Mutsuki to run away _with_ him. Narrowing his eyes, Shirazu pushed himself harder, closing the gap between Mutsuki and himself.

"Tooru!" Shirazu grasped Mutsuki's arms roughly, forcing him to stop.

"Let go," Mutsuki's voice was cold. "Don't follow me."

Shirazu frowned in confusion and turned Mutsuki to face him. "Tooru? What's wrong?" he asked. "Is it something I've done?"

Mutsuki wouldn't meet Shirazu's eyes, but he couldn't miss the blood all over his t-shirt. "You're hurt!" He looked up and saw Shirazu's damaged ear, still slowly oozing blood. Then he got caught in Shirazu's gaze, saw his tears, saw the fear and hurt and worry there, and behind it all the ever-present expression of love.

Shirazu shrugged. "A sniper fired at me, but missed." He was still shocked by what had happened, and the moment he'd thought of Mutsuki, he had known he had to find him. Now that Shirazu had done so, he felt more shaken up about the shooting. But he wouldn't loosen his grip. He wouldn't let Mutsuki run again.

"Shit. Ginshi..." Mutsuki burst into fresh tears and threw his arms around Shirazu's waist, clinging to him tightly.

"Tooru..." Shirazu slid his arms around Mutsuki's slender yet strong body, brow furrowed when he saw the way Mutsuki's shoulders were shaking, and felt the tears soaking through his t-shirt. Shirazu kissed the side of Mutsuki's head and squeezed him. "Can you tell me what happened?" he asked, voice quiet. "It's me. Your Ginshi. You can trust me."

Mutsuki whimpered against Shirazu's shoulder. "But you can't trust me," he whispered. "I'm a traitor."

"Tooru?" Shirazu's voice revealed his bewilderment. "What are you talking about?"

Once again, Mutsuki tried to pull away. Shirazu kept him close.

"I betrayed you all!" Mutsuki wailed. "He made me tell him everything! He tricked me! I wasn't strong enough. I don't deserve you, so let me go!" Mutsuki lifted his hands and shoved Shirazu away from him.

Legs already unsteady, Shirazu stumbled and fell. He stared up at Mutsuki with a look of utter heartache. Was Mutsuki really going to run away and abandon him?

"Who, Tooru? Who hurt you?" Shirazu had a already good idea who was responsible.

Mutsuki shook his head. "I don't want you to get hurt, Ginshi. I tried hard not to betray you, but he knew. I'm a good for nothing traitor!" Mutsuki was shouting now, and couldn't stop crying. He didn't know what he was doing anymore; he wanted to run, but couldn't bear to run from Shirazu. Not when Shirazu was looking at him like that.

"You're not a traitor," Shirazu winced as he got to his feet. "If you were forced to tell, you're not a traitor."

"But you can't trust me. You can't love me, either."

"I can. And I do," Shirazu took Mutsuki's hands in his own, holding them gently. "Tooru, if I couldn't trust you - if I didn't _love_ you - do you think I would have run out of the house, covered in blood, with only room shoes on? Or run all over the city looking for you, or stopped you jumping from a damn bridge?"

Mutsuki lowered his gaze. "I wasn't going to jump," he said quietly. "I was just thinking, that it would be better if I kept away from you guys. If I just disappeared without another word."

"If you disappeared, my life would be over," Shirazu murmured, entwining their fingers. "I love you, Tooru. I trust you."

"Your life nearly _was_ over..." Mutsuki sighed. "If I disappeared, you'd still have Haru."

"And what about when she dies?" Shirazu asked desperately. "I love my sister, and I want to help her, but one day the drugs aren't going to be enough. I'm scared about what I'll do when that day comes, Tooru. Don't make me go through losing you, too."

"Arima threatened to kill her... I hate him, Ginshi! I really hate him!" Mutsuki was sobbing again.

"Arima..." Shirazu frowned. "We should have known he would notice something was up." He rested his forehead against Mutsuki's. "We're going to bring him down, Tooru. I'll kill him with my own bare hands."

"Don't," Mutsuki looked up, nose to nose with Shirazu. "He'd kill you first, Ginshi. I don't want to lose you either, you know."

"That's more like my Tooru." Shirazu kissed Mutsuki sweetly. "Have you calmed down a little?" His voice was soft, his gaze concerned.

Mutsuki pressed a kiss to Shirazu's lips. "Yeah." He sighed shakily. "Can I talk to you about what happened?"

"You know you can."

Mutsuki squeezed Shirazu's hand and hoped that once he was done talking, everything would somehow be okay.

 

Akira returned to the Chateau, carrying her shoes. Her feet were covered in blisters, her stockings were ripped, and her mood dark. At the archives, another investigator had told her he'd seen a man of Shirazu's description in the building, and had been startled on account of the blood. After reassuring the man that everything was fine, Akira departed the archives and continued her search. She spent two hours looking for Shirazu, but there had been no sign of him. Akira hadn't found Mutsuki, either, and neither of them were answering their phones. Mutsuki's wouldn't even dial through. Akira couldn't help fearing the worse.

Eventually, she had given up, and hobbled back to see how Saiko and Urie were getting on.

But there was no sign of them.

"Urie? Saiko?" Akira dumped her shoes at the door and walked gingerly through the house. Her feet ached. She really wanted to soak them. Scratch that, what she really wanted was a hot bath.

"Up here, Akira!" Saiko peered down the stairs.

Akira found that Saiko and Urie had set up their work in Saiko's room.

"Urie said it was better to move out of sight," Saiko explained, seeing Akira's quizzical expression. "And my curtains are always shut, so it doesn't look weird or anything."

"I see," Akira nodded. At least Urie had obeyed her this time. He was currently sitting at a low table, writing. "How is the case going?" Akira knelt beside him, cringing when her blisters rubbed against the wooden floor.

"Saiko is on it," Urie didn't stop writing. "You should get a footbath."

"Maybe later." Akira glanced at his work. "Is that the list I asked for?"

"Everybody behind the experiments, based on the med files and Kureo Mado's notes. It's finished; Saiko has your copy."

Saiko was sitting at her computer again. She nodded, absently waving a piece of paper as she tapped at the keys with one hand.

"Why are you making a copy?" Akira arched a brow.

"It's needed," replied Urie. He glanced sideways at Akira, lips pursed. "It would be stupid to only have one."

"True..." Akira nodded, getting the intense feeling that he didn't want her to sit so close. She stayed put.

"Did you find Shirazu?" Saiko asked.

Akira shook her head. "No sign of him. He was seen at the archives, but nobody knows where he went after that."

"I knew it," Urie murmured. "He can't handle this."

"Urie, he was shot at. A few inches to the right and he'd have been killed," Akira snapped. "He's in shock! You can't blame him for running off like that!"

Urie rolled his eyes and continued writing. "He's too weak..."

"Urie!" Furious, Akira lifted a hand, wanting to slap him.

But Saiko reached over and took hold of her wrist. "Don't fight," she said quietly, a pleading look on her face. "Maman wouldn't like it."

"Sasaki isn't here!" Urie threw down his pen and grabbed the copied list on his way out of the room.

"That guy..." Akira began, getting to her feet with the intention of following him. Urie got away with far too much on Sasaki's watch, but she was going to give him a talking to!

"Akira? Urie is worried too, I think..." Saiko stepped in front of her superior, and held out a small plastic box.

Akira realised it was a portable hard drive. "What's this for?" she asked, taking it.

"It's all the data from the case," Saiko blinked and rubbed her eyes. "I've been putting it together so it makes sense. Everything is there. Your lists, too. One for victims, one for the people responsible. I put what happened to the victims, too..." she pouted. "Arima is on both lists. He's not really a victim, but he had procedures..."

Akira patted Saiko's head. "You've worked really hard on this," she said, impressed. She'd never seen Saiko work so hard until recently.

"I'm doing it for Maman," Saiko smiled a little. "Can we go collect him and Hide tomorrow, Akira?"

"I don't think that's wise," Akira sighed. "I'm being followed again. They're probably hoping I'll lead them to Haise. Until we can throw them off the trail, we'll have to steer clear of where Haise and Hide are holed up."

"They'll be okay though, won't they?"

"I'm sure," Akira nodded, though wasn't as certain as she appeared. There were no limits to Arima's ability to complete a mission, and if his mission was to get hold of Sasaki, she didn't doubt that he would succeed.

 

"...and I tried to call the house to warn you, but I couldn't stop shaking. I dropped my phone and just--I gave up, Ginshi..." Mutsuki sighed, leaning back against Shirazu's chest. They were seated on the river bank, Mutsuki perched between Shirazu's thighs, Shirazu's arms curled protectively around him.

"You were stronger than I would have been," Shirazu replied softly. "I would have crumpled the moment he mentioned you."

"Hm..." Mutsuki rested his hand over Shirazu's. "Ginshi, don't you think I'm weak? Or a failure? Or--"

"Definitely not a traitor," Shirazu cut in, before Mutsuki could start talking down about himself again. "You're definitely not a failure, either. What you did... You saved us. If Arima hadn't been busy with you, they might have killed us all."

"I'm still weak..."

"Tooru, you're the strongest guy on the squad," Shirazu held him tightly.

"Do you mean that?" Mutsuki asked softly, stroking the back of Shirazu's hand.

"Of course I do. You're brave, compassionate, skilled, super-intelligent--"

Mutsuki shook his head rapidly. "No, I meant the guy part." He looked over his shoulder, expression uncertain. "Am I really a man, in your eyes?" Mutsuki's voice trembled as he spoke, and his shoulders tensed as he waited for Shirazu's answer.

Shirazu eyed his partner, confused by the question. "...Tooru, I've only _ever_ thought of you as a man," he murmured quietly, hurt that Mutsuki would suspect anything else.

"But what about these?" Mutsuki pressed Shirazu's hand against his bound chest, a frown upon his face. "Isn't it impossible to think of me as a man, when I have these?"

"You're still a man," Shirazu said, heart aching for Mutsuki and hoping he was saying the right thing. "You can get them removed if you want to, right?"

"Do you want me to?" Mutsuki looked upset.

"I want you to do what's right for you, Tooru. Whatever you want, I'll support you."

"You'd still want me even if my body changed?"

Shirazu sighed and hugged Mutsuki closer. "I love you for who you are: a man. My man."

"So you don't want me to be a woman?"

"Tooru, I'm gay," Shirazu smiled gently. "The moment I first saw you, I couldn't get over what a gorgeous man you are. When we got to know each other, I realised what an amazing personality you have, and I really wanted to be closer to you."

"You freaked out when you discovered the truth..." Mutsuki reminded him, thoughtful rather than accusing.

Shirazu rested his head against Mutsuki's. "I know. I felt like such an ass afterwards. I was surprised. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. You trusted me and I let you down."

"I still trust you, Ginshi," Mutsuki said quietly.

"I'm just grateful you gave me a second chance," Shirazu smiled ruefully. "I certainly didn't deserve it."

"But despite how you reacted, I still wanted you. By that point, I liked you too much to let you go..." Mutsuki turned in Shirazu's embrace, swinging his legs over one of Shirazu's and wrapping his arms around him. "Ginshi, when I told you that I'm transgender, I was afraid you'd spurn me. I _expected_ you to. It was so painful to see you run away." He rested his head on Shirazu's shoulder. "When you came back, I thought you were going to beat me up. I didn't expect you to start crying."

"I'm so sorry, Tooru," Shirazu hugged Mutsuki to his chest, brow furrowed. Mutsuki's confession had surprised him that day, and he'd stupidly run off, struggling to understand and terrified of saying the wrong thing. "If I wasn't such an idiot, we could have talked straight away, and I wouldn't have hurt you." He sighed. "I wish I could fix that."

"We can't change the past, Ginshi..." Mutsuki was starting to wish he hadn't brought it up. The memory hurt both of them. Shirazu had been a total idiot, but he was incredibly soft-hearted. When he'd realised the effect of his impulsive behaviour, he'd been utterly mortified.

"I know..." Shirazu averted his eyes, guilty. "I'd do anything to make it up to you."

"Ginshi, it hurt me. But we've had this conversation before. We worked it out. You know I've forgiven you," Mutsuki lifted a hand to Shirazu's cheek. "You don't think of me as a woman, do you?"

"I never thought of you as a woman," Shirazu spoke awkwardly, hoping he wasn't going to upset Mutsuki further. "I only ever thought of you as a man."

"Even when we were naked together for the first time?"

Shirazu blushed. He'd been so self-conscious that night, afraid he would say or do something wrong. "I still didn't think of you as a woman. You're a man. I mean, I know I didn't know what to do--You were very patient with me."

"And you were very sweet," Mutsuki remembered, smiling a little at the memory. "So uncertain and worried." They'd both been so nervous that night, stripping with the lights off just to give the illusion of hiding themselves. That had been the case for Mutsuki, anyway. He had wanted Shirazu badly, but hadn't wanted him to look at the feminine body that had always felt so wrong.

"All I could think of was how lucky I was to be with you, and how much I didn't want to screw up," Shirazu replied. "I'd never slept with anybody before."

"Me either. I'm glad it all happens naturally for us now... You really do think of me as a man, don't you?" Mutsuki lifted his head and looked into Shirazu's worried eyes.

"Always," Shirazu's answer was spoken with certainty. "When I look at you, I see my world. You're the most amazing man I know. I want to spend my life with you, Tooru."

Mutsuki felt his eyes mist up. Shirazu spoke so passionately, so honestly, that he couldn't help but cry. Hurts of the past couldn't be changed, but the future was theirs for the making. He was a man. Shirazu's man.

Tilting Shirazu's chin, Mutsuki captured his lips in a warm kiss. He felt Shirazu relax in his arms, felt his plush lips part and slick tongue sneak out, tentatively begging for acceptance. Mutsuki parted his lips and nudged his tongue against Shirazu's, and into Shirazu's hot mouth. Mutsuki's heart fluttered when Shirazu's arms tightened around him, and he pulled back with a soft chuckle when they bumped noses. "I love you, Ginshi," he murmured fondly.

Shirazu gazed at him with utmost adoration, cheeks pink and eyes still bright with tears. "I love you too, Tooru."

Mutsuki smiled and kissed him again, softly, chastely. "...When this is all over, I want to start transitioning," he admitted quietly. "It's going to be hard, and it will take time. There will be hormones, surgery, lots of changes... That's if it's even possible, with my body's ability to repair itself." Mutsuki sighed.

"That's what you've been saving for, isn't it?" Shirazu took Mutsuki's hand and kissed it. "We'll find a way. I'm with you on this." He smiled faintly, wishing he could support his partner with more than just words. "I meant it when I said that I want to spend my life with you. We're a team. No matter what happens, I'll be by your side."

"Noble Ginshi," Mutsuki smiled a little, lacing their fingers together. "I'm so glad you found me tonight. I felt so worthless."

"I'm glad I found you, too," Shirazu said, eyes widening. "I thought I was going to die if I couldn't find you."

Mutsuki winced. "Please don't talk about dying. Not when you came so close..." He looked at his partner's ear. It was starting to heal now, and Mutsuki wondered if the missing chunk would grow back, or if Shirazu would be stuck with it like that forever.

It didn't matter, anyway. Shirazu was still Shirazu.

"I'm sorry. Me and my big mouth..."

"It's okay. It's a gorgeous mouth." Mutsuki kissed him to make his point clear. He felt warm, despite the cool breeze. He felt protected, loved. Accepted.

Mutsuki pushed Shirazu to lay back on the riverbank, and kissed him deeper.

"Tooru..." Shirazu whispered when Mutsuki drew back. His arms kept Mutsuki close, though the shorter man had no intention of pulling away anymore. Shirazu's breathing was heavy from the intensity of Mutsuki's kiss, and his eyes held a look of pure love.

Mutsuki smiled affectionately and rubbed noses with him. "My own sweet Ginshi."

"You're amazing..." Shirazu planted a kiss on Mutsuki's lips. "I adore you."

"I love you."

"I love you too," Shirazu smiled, worry melting from his heart. He'd been afraid of how much damage their relationship had taken after his screw-up when Mutsuki first came out to him. Thank god they were mature enough to talk--even if he did have a talent for saying the wrong thing.

Mutsuki ran his fingertips over Shirazu's brow, smoothing out the slight furrow there. "Stop thinking about it now," he murmured, knowing he had to take charge before Shirazu started beating himself up again. "We got through it, didn't we? No matter what happens, we always get through it. We always will."

"Sorry. I just...I love you so much. I don't say it nearly enough, but I do love you."

"I know. I love you too," Mutsuki kissed Shirazu's forehead. "You don't need to say it all the time when you make me feel it." Mutsuki reflected that he seldom spoke of his love to Shirazu, either. It rarely seemed necessary to vocalise their love, not when they woke up each day entangled with each other. Not when he could soothe Shirazu's worries with a look, or when Shirazu took charge in soaping up his back or combing his hair. When it came down to it, Shirazu's love was evident in his eyes, in his touch, and the reverential way in which he spoke Mutsuki's name. He didn't speak the name of anybody else like that.

Shirazu smiled faintly and closed his eyes. Mutsuki felt so warm against his chest, and his presence was so soothing, so calming. If he'd not found Mutsuki tonight, he would have gone crazy. Once he realised he'd been shot, Mutsuki was the only person Shirazu could think about. So off he'd run, and now here he was. The others were probably worried. Well, Saiko and Akira were probably worried.

Shirazu sighed, nuzzling Mutsuki's hair. "We should go back, I guess. I don't want to, though."

"Me either," Mutsuki placed his hands on either side of Shirazu's head, pushing upwards to hover over him. "We could get a hotel room?" he suggested, smiling.

"I don't have any money," Shirazu pouted. "I ran out without anything."

"You and your running," Mutsuki's smile was warm with affection. "I've got money, Ginshi."

"But you're saving..."

"So are you. We'll write it off as expenses. The bureau can reimburse us," Mutsuki leaned down and captured Shirazu's lips in a slow, heartfelt kiss. "We'll tell them it was for a case."

"For a case...?" Shirazu asked, dubious but coming around to the idea.

"The case of my being very much in love with you, and wanting time alone together," Mutsuki replied softly.

Shirazu smiled, heart swelling happily. "You're a genius."

"I'm your genius." Mutsuki jumped to his feet and held out a hand to his partner. "Let's go spend some quality time together."

Grabbing Mutsuki's hand, Shirazu hoisted himself up. He kissed Mutsuki affectionately. "Lead the way, my genius."

Holding tightly onto Shirazu's hand, Mutsuki led him from the riverbank, away from the river that seemed to flow far more calmly than it had from the bridge. They wouldn't be going home tonight. Tonight was theirs, anonymous in some hotel room where they didn't have to be investigators, or fighters, but could simply _be_ , together.

 

Time slipped by slowly that night. Akira stayed up late, exhausted but unable to sleep. Unlike Saiko, in the room across from her, who snored contentedly from the cocoon of her anime character duvet. Unlike Urie, who made no sound as he slept, and was so quiet that Akira had gone to look in on him once or twice, and stared at his toned, naked chest until she was certain he was still breathing.

Akira sighed and attempted to call Sasaki again. The call went straight through to voicemail. She had sent a message, but it was hard to express urgency by text. Arima was onto them, she was certain. Which meant that even in their secret bolthole, Sasaki and Hide were in danger.

Akira couldn't go to them: she would be followed. She couldn't send Saiko or Urie for the same reason, sure that anyone who left the Chateau would be pursued. She worried about Shirazu and Mutsuki, neither of whom had returned home, and hoped they had found each other. Mutsuki's phone was still unavailable, and Shirazu's had been left on the coffee table.

Starting to get a headache, Akira sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. It felt like everything was falling apart. This secret case they had worked on, that Amon had worked on--it was so close to failing, merely because their foe was stronger, wiser, more powerful. She couldn't let that happen. She needed to ensure Amon's work bore fruit, and she had plenty of evidence now. No longer would Akira try to work from the bottom. Tomorrow, she would go straight to the top. Chairman Washuu was going to get a visitor whether he liked it or not.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasaki and Hide awaken to discover that trouble is on its way in the form of an arrest warrant. Whilst they hurriedly form a plan of escape, the Quinx Squad have their own plan to protect Akira. Then along comes Suzuya...but is he friend or foe?

"You can't be serious!" Akira scowled at the image on the screen. Sasaki was wanted by the CCG--and so was she. They were no longer investigators, but targets.

Saiko looked up from the computer. "Looks like it was sent right across the bureau."

"And Arima is responsible. I should have known..." Akira read the information again. "Warrant countersigned by Matsuri Washuu," she growled. "Shit. They really are all involved."

The son of the Washuu Clan had popped up several times in their investigation. Akira had worried how high in the bureau the conspiracy went, but couldn't find anything relating to other members of the family. Now she second-guessed herself: ought she take her findings to the CCG Chairman, Tsuneyoshi Washuu? Or was he involved as well? Amon had warned her to get away from the CCG and take her findings to someone--but she didn't know who. Akira couldn't think of anybody that her former partner would have trusted.

"Are you giving up?" Urie eyed her thoughtfully, and Akira's rage grew.

"No, Urie. We are not giving up," Akira replied. "New plan. Saiko, contact Sasaki. Tell him what is happening. If he doesn't answer, send a message. Urie, I'll need a distraction."

Urie tilted his head. "What are you planning to do?"

Akira stood up, a look of grim determination on her face. "I'm going to hand myself in."

 

The headquarters of the CCG had been buzzing with activity since before six that morning. Arima watched as investigators geared up for the hunt. His RC count was high thanks to the enhancers Shiba had injected earlier, and he could feel the powerful cells racing through his body. Arima felt alive with anticipation.

Matsuri Washuu stood beside Arima, cold eyes rested upon the people armouring up. Some of them looked anxious. They didn't want to fight against people they had seen as comrades, and perhaps feared why so many investigators were needed to track down only two of them. But orders were orders. If Matsuri told them to lay down their lives, he expected them to do so.

"Arima!" Suzuya ran up, carrying his quinque. He saluted. "We saw the warrant, and decided to help!"

Arima noted the rest of Suzuya's squad approaching at the rear. "Good. We can use you." Not so much the rest of the squad, he thought. They were expendable. But Suzuya had a lot of skill. He would be useful.

"Excellent. Your squad can join the teams tracking down Haise Sasaki," Matsuri spoke up, adjusting his glasses. "Arima is in charge. I am leading the hunt for Akira Mado."

At that moment. Yoshitoki Washuu strode into the room. "What is going on?" he demanded of his son.

"The bureau clean-up that should have been carried out two years ago, _sir_." Matsuri saluted his father, though his manner was mocking.

"This is too big an operation. I expected something more discreet, Matsuri. You are only looking for two people."

Matsuri crossed his arms. "You know _who_ we're looking for..."

Glancing around the room, Yoshitoki noticed several investigators pretending not to listen. "Let's discuss this privately. Come along."

The pair left, and the investigators immediately began to murmur among themselves.

"Focus!" Arima called out. "We have no time for gossip!"

The groups turned their attentions back to putting on armour or checking over their weapons, but the susurrus of conversation didn't quite die away.

"Alright, remember your briefing," Arima spoke up. "Seek and arrest Mado. Sasaki must be approached with caution. If he puts up a fight, erase him."

Despite his words, Arima had no intention of letting anybody else get to Sasaki first. Sasaki was his prize, and his alone.

Matsuri Washuu returned, frowning, and soon the investigators were deployed. The city borders had been closed, tip-offs were already rolling in, and with the intense search that had been planned, their targets had no hope of escape.

 

Sasaki awoke slowly, body heavy with sleep and light with contentment all at the same time. He stretched out languidly on the bed and smiled at the man beside him.

"Do you never sleep?" he asked Hide softly.

"I slept," Hide replied, smiling as his fingers drifted lightly over Sasaki's chest. "But I woke with the dawn. You look beautiful as you sleep, Haise."

Sasaki leaned up for a kiss. "Mm. What time is it?"

"Don't know. The clock has stopped."

Yawning, Sasaki sat up. "I'll get my phone..." The device was still on the coffee table, switched off. They'd left the couch shortly after waking from their nap, and squeezed into the tiny shower together, washing sleepily. Sasaki had sent Hide straight to bed after that, noticing the awkward way in which his lover walked. Sore from their love-making, Hide had been thankful to relax into the soft mattress, but hadn't slept until Sasaki returned from tidying up. Sasaki had folded up their clothes and left them beside the bed, but had forgotten about his phone.

"Wait a moment," Hide sat up behind him, wincing. "I'm not ready to let you go yet, Haise." He wrapped his arms around Sasaki and kissed his shoulder, hands brushing over Sasaki's nipples.

Sasaki shivered. "Hide..." he bit his lip as Hide's hands wandered lower.

"Hm?"

"Akira might show up at any moment."

Hide's hands stilled. "You're right." He pulled away, disappointed.

Sasaki got to his feet and collected his phone, not noticing Hide's expression until he returned to the bed. "...I'm sorry, Hide."

"It's fine," Hide pouted, finger-combing his hair. "We should probably get dressed."

"Hey." Sasaki dropped his phone on the bed and took Hide's face in his hands, kissing him. "It doesn't mean I don't _want_ it, Hide."

Hide nodded, sighing. "I just hoped to have you a little longer."

"When it's over, you can have me as long as you want," Sasaki reassured him.

"Yeah," Hide sighed again and reached for his clothes, wincing as he bent.

"I hurt you yesterday..." Sasaki rested a hand on Hide's back, guilty.

"Yeah," Hide repeated. He looked back and smiled a little. "It was wonderful, though. It will hurt less in time..." Hide trailed off, pensive.

Sasaki shifted closer and slipped an arm around him. "What's wrong?"

Sighing again, Hide rested his head against Sasaki's. "We don't know how this is going to turn out, Haise. My life changes every time Arima is involved--so does yours. I lost my best friend because of him, I lost my freedom as a human because of him. I don't want to lose you, too."

Sasaki squeezed Hide gently, understanding. He wished he could promise that they would come out of this okay, but Hide was right. Arima had a devastating effect on people's lives. "Let's do our best, Hide," Sasaki murmured. "I'll protect you."

Hide rested his hand over Sasaki's and lifted his head, kissing him. "Thank you," he murmured. "For not pretending everything will be alright."

"You deserve better than that," Sasaki's voice was gentle, longing. "Maybe we could spend a little more time, before Akira arrives..."

Hide blinked. "What _is_ the time?" He smiled sheepishly. "I really don't want her to walk in on us."

Sasaki switched on his phone, brows raising at the time displayed on the clock. "Nearly nine forty-five...?!" Two messages popped upon on the screen, and Sasaki's expression darkened. "Hide. We need to start moving."

"What?" Hide peered at the screen.

"Last night Akira realised she was being followed again. The Chateau was attacked by snipers. Shirazu and Mutsuki are missing. As of this morning, Akira and I are wanted. Arima has made me a target, Hide. If I'm caught, I'll be killed on the spot."

"...we aren't safe here, are we?" Hide recalled Akira telling them that other members of the CCG lived in the building. If they'd been seen, or heard, they would be in trouble.

Sasaki shook his head. "We need to figure out where to go--and how we're going to get there." Judging from the messages sent by Akira and Saiko, they could no longer rely on anybody else to help. Akira and the Quinx Squad had their own problems to deal with.

 

"She isn't here." Arms folded and eyes narrowed into a glare, Shirazu blocked the entrance to the Chateau. Mutsuki stood just behind him, expression equally fierce. They had returned to the Chateau only half an hour ago to find out about the bureau's warrants for Akira and Sasaki. It hadn't been a surprise, but it was worrying. Akira's plan to hand herself in was also worrying. It didn't really make sense, and could easily go wrong.

Then a team of armed investigators had shown up. They knew Akira was there--she'd been witnessed entering the building the night before, but nobody had seen her leave. Arima's spies had certainly done a good job.

"We believe her to be within the premises. Stand aside."

Due to the armed man's helmet, Shirazu couldn't see his face, which was just as well because he wanted to punch it. "I told you, Mado isn't here."

"That's it," the investigator had lost his patience. "Out of the way." He barged past Shirazu and knocked Mutsuki aside too before either could react. A line of investigators followed suit, and the two Quinx raced after them.

"Akira Mado isn't here!" Mutsuki shouted, following them upstairs. "Search all you want, but you won't find her!"

"Oh won't we?" The leader had stopped at the bathroom door, and signalled for quiet. The sound of running water could be heard as he crept stealthily inside. What a coup it would be to not only capture Mado, but to capture her in such a compromising position... He smirked, watching the shadow switch off the water and grab the towel that hung just outside the shower. He reached for the shower curtain and yanked it back.

Saiko screamed, tugging the towel tighter around herself.

"I told you she isn't here," Shirazu stood in the doorway, arms crossed. "You're harassing my squad. Get out."

Red-faced, the team leader shoved past him. "Fall back! No sign of Mado here!"

Shirazu stomped after them to make sure everybody left. He felt stronger today, as if the night before had given him the boost he needed. Once the investigators had gone, he slammed and locked the door behind them and returned upstairs.

Mutsuki was leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. He smirked when their eyes met. "You were pretty tough just then. You looked ready to kick their asses."

"I was, wasn't I?" Shirazu grinned. "I _would_ have kicked their asses, but there are ladies present." He peeped into the bathroom, where Saiko had just finished dressing. "Coast is clear."

The lid of the bath rolled back and Akira sat up with a sigh. "Geez! Those assholes!"

Urie was squashed into the bath with her, a gun in his hands. He climbed out silently, holstering the weapon. Shirazu couldn't help noticing that Urie's cheeks were a little pink.

"Can we get on with this now?" Urie frowned and left the room.

Stepping out of the bath, Akira reached back in for her bag and shoes. "Nice one, Saiko. I wasn't sure it was going to work."

"Men are perverts," Saiko stated, matter-of-fact. "At mother's bar, they were always trying to look. It happened at school as well." She sighed. The squad had thought on their feet with this one. Saiko hadn't wanted anybody to see her like that, but with Akira still in the house, there hadn't been time to think of another plan. It made Saiko feel dirty, and the worst thing was, it had been her own plan. She really wanted another shower.

"Sucks being a woman, doesn't it?" Akira patted Saiko on the head. "Guys were always trying to peep on me at the academy. I started taking pepper spray into the showers with me. They soon learnt not to peep."

Saiko hugged Akira tightly, pouting.

"You're really brave," Akira murmured, stroking Saiko's hair. "I'm so proud of you. Haise will be, too. Thank you, Saiko."

Feeling awkward, and sensing it was a moment when the two women needed to be alone, Shirazu withdrew from the room and pulled the door shut.

"I know how Saiko feels," Mutsuki murmured. "Being stared at isn't nice."

Shirazu nodded, knowing he'd never fully understand. He'd never had to put up with that kind of behaviour from anyone. "You okay, Tooru?" he held a hand out to his partner.

"Yeah," Mutsuki grasped his hand and smiled remorsefully. "I feel bad for Saiko. We totally used her. If only I had been the one in the shower..."

"No, Tooru. I wouldn't let you reveal yourself like that."

"But Saiko--"

"I'm okay, Tooru," Saiko stepped out of the bathroom. She smiled cutely. "I'll find out who it was, and get revenge."

Shirazu lifted his gaze from Saiko to Akira, who grinned like a proud parent. The pair had spent a lot of time together recently, and Akira was certainly having an influence on Saiko. Whether it was a good or bad influence he couldn't yet tell.

Mutsuki patted Saiko's shoulder. "We'll help you."

"Damn right we will," Shirazu nodded.

"But first we've got a plan to carry out." Akira shouldered her bag. "Urie and I will be leaving now. Take care of each other."

Saiko hugged Akira again. "Be careful, Papa."

"Papa?" Akira chuckled. "I suppose I could be Papa." She kissed Saiko's forehead. "Keep being brave. And remember the pepper spray."

Akira bid the others goodbye, and went to seek out Urie.

This plan had only a slim chance of working, but it was the best chance they had.

 

Suzuya had ended up heading a team deployed to the 20th Ward. A tip-off had come in from a fellow investigator, certain she had witnessed Haise Sasaki, Akira Mado, and another man in the stairwell of her apartment building. Arima was on his way--he'd pulled up a list of residents and discovered that one of the apartments had belonged to Kureo Mado. "That's where he'll be," he had said over the radio. "Hold back until I'm there."

Suzuya had no intention of obeying. He divided up the team swiftly into sub-teams, leaving a member of his squad with each one and ordering them to cover the exits. Hanbee was the exception. Suzuya assigned Hanbee to his own team, and strolled into the building with ten more investigators behind him. He left two guarding the elevators, and led the way to the stairs.

"Is Haise Sasaki really here?"

"I heard a rumour that he's actually Eyepatch..."

"Whatever he is, we'll get him."

Suzuya smirked at the murmured conversation, and turned around, holding a finger to his lips, eyes wide. "Shh. He'll hear you."

The team fell quiet, and followed Suzuya noiselessly up the stairs.

Suzuya grinned to himself. This fight was going to be fun.

 

Akira walked calmly into the CCG headquarters, shoulders back, head high.

She was immediately surrounded.

"Akira Mado..."

Akira smiled pleasantly at the approaching investigator, and put her hands on her head. "I believe I'm wanted?" She continued through the lobby, handbag swinging almost jauntily from her shoulder as she stepped through the alarms.

The armed investigators followed her cautiously, but none tried to approach her, too perplexed by her behaviour. Akira smirked. She'd been banking on this wariness.

One of the investigators spoke into his radio. "Akira Mado has been found, sir. She's in the lobby."

Before a reply could come, an explosion ripped through the front of the building, sending shards of glass and metal flying through the air.

Taking advantage of the ensuing confusion, Akira ran for the stairs. She glanced back to see her would-be captors either sprawled on the ground or racing through the smoke and debris to escape the building. Akira grinned. She knew she could rely on Urie. Now she was free to get to Chairman Washuu.

Suddenly Akira found herself face-down on the floor, pain spreading through her back from a well-aimed kick. Winded, she struggled to get up as heavy, purposeful footsteps approached.

Matsuri Washuu loomed over her. "Mado, you decided to join us." He smiled malevolently, and grasped her arm in an iron grip. "Come with me."

Dragging Akira to her feet, he forced her into the waiting elevator.

 

A map was spread out across the coffee table, alongside a schematic of the 20th Ward's sewer system. Hide had found them amongst the papers on Kureo's desk, and he and Sasaki studied them hurriedly.

"We must be about here," Sasaki pointed to a place on the map. "Since the 20th Branch is just here," he pointed to another place. "Which we can see from the window. The nearest access to the sewers is..." he trailed off, looking between the two diagrams. It was difficult to compare the two, especially since the map was drawn to scale whilst the schematic was a simplification of the sewer layout.

Hide blinked, and pointed to a place on the map. "Here. Entrance to a storm drain." It was only two streets away, not far if they ran.

Sasaki nodded. "Hide..." he began, faltering. "I-I know things happened down there before. If I suffer flashbacks, I'll need--"

"I'll take care of you," Hide said quickly. He wasn't a great fighter, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that. "We'll find a place to hide. We'll get away."

Sasaki linked hands with Hide. "Let's go."

"Haise--" Hide paused, eyes widening. "I hear someone," he whispered.

Frowning, Sasaki concentrated and realised he was right. There were footsteps outside.

A moment later, Suzuya burst through the door.

"Hi Haise! Hi Hide!" Suzuya grinned, spinning his quinque as investigators fanned out behind him. "You'd better start running."


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Sasaki are on the run from the CCG, but Arima isn't going to let them get away so easily. As Mutsuki and Shirazu race to their aid, guided by Saiko, Urie is on a mission of his own, and Akira awaits interrogation at the hands of Matsuri.

Sasaki stepped in front of Hide as they backed away from the intruders. It was a shock to see Suzuya there. They'd almost been friends, but now Suzuya was against him. Sasaki was confident he could take on the average investigator in a fight, but he wasn't so sure about Suzuya. Suzuya was too unpredictable, and his grin suggested he'd been looking forward to this.

"Hide, run!" Sasaki turned and pushed Hide towards the window. Hide tore off the rusted-shut latch and shoved the window open, climbing onto the ledge. The apartment was high up, but jumping was the only option. At least the roof wasn't far for a ghoul.

Sasaki turned back, ready to protect Hide. If Hide could escape, he'd done his job.

Suzuya grinned at Hanbee. "Do it."

Releasing his quinque, Hanbee took a step forward--and abruptly whirled around on his heel, running the nearest investigator through. The man slumped forward, an expression of shock forever frozen on his face.

Sasaki stared. Was Hanbee a defector?

Suzuya's grin widened as the gasps of his team met his ears. He eyed Sasaki. "I told you to run, Haise."

"Take this," Hanbee threw something towards Sasaki, who caught it in surprise. It was a black mask with a grinning mouth, and one eye covered. Eyepatch's mask.

Finally understanding, Sasaki raced to the window.

Behind him, Suzuya turned on the team. "Now then," he grinned menacingly. "Who wants to go first?"

Sasaki leapt for the roof, leaving the shouts of dying men behind him.

"Haise! You're alive!" Hide gasped and ran from where he was hiding.

"Suzuya and Hanbee are on our side." Sasaki held up the mask. "They're helping. We can escape."

"But the building is surrounded," Hide pointed out.

Sasaki peered over the edge, seeing the multiple investigators gathered around the exits. "...then we jump to the next roof."

"I don't know if I can..." Hide looked uncertain. He hated heights, and his lower body still ached. Even his leap to the roof had been painful.

"Hide," Sasaki tugged on Hide's collar and kissed him forcefully. "You're a half-ghoul. You can do it."

Hide closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Yes, he was half-ghoul. Of course he could do this. He opened his eyes again and took his mask from his pocket. "Okay. Let's get to that storm drain."

Moments later, Eyepatch and Sunflower leapt from the roof.

Arima watched them go. "Fall back," he called out to the teams before him. "Haise Sasaki has escaped the building. We have an additional target: Hideyoshi Nagachika, aka Sunflower. Come with me, we'll cut them off."

"What about Suzuya and the team inside?" Keijin Nakarai spoke up, concerned for his leader. Suzuya had given them strict orders: obstruct this operation in any way possible. Aid the targets.

Arima eyed the investigator. "They will be dead. You're squad leader now. Gather the team and rendezvous at Point B for further instruction."

Point B was the entrance to a storm drain nearby. Keijin had a bad feeling about this. The situation seemed all too familiar. "Yes sir," he said quietly, saluting.

Arima walked off quickly, quinque ready in his hand. He knew where Sasaki was going. With any luck he'd have both Sasaki and Nagachika hunted down before the team arrived there. Such a shame that Sasaki became a ghoul, he thought. Now he'd have to kill him.

 

A motorcycle raced through the streets. Shirazu leaned forward as he rode, frowning into the wind.

"Nearly there," he called out to Mutsuki, who clung on behind.

They were in the 20th Ward. It had been one hell of a ride and police had tried to stop them twice, only letting them pass after Mutsuki signalled that they were in pursuit of a ghoul.

Mutsuki nodded and touched his earpiece. "Saiko, any news?"

Back at the Chateau, Saiko sat with her feet up on the desk, watching the little red dot move along on the monitor. A radio set stood beside the computer, carefully tuned in to the bureau's frequency.

"Maman and Hide escaped," Saiko replied, eyes fixed on the screen. "Arima is heading to a storm drain--take the next left."

"Go left, Ginshi!" Mutsuki called above the roar of the motorcycle, and clung on as Shirazu made the turn. "Has Urie checked in, Saiko?"

"Nuh-uh. But Suzuya Squad is in the 20th Ward. Arima thinks Suzuya is dead. After he left Mado's apartment building, Nakarai radioed to Suzuya. Suzuya is on Maman's side. I think he killed some people."

Mutsuki listened grimly. "Can you contact Suzuya? If we--"

"Wait a minute."

In the background, Mutsuki could hear the radio set, but couldn't make out the words.

"Okay," Saiko spoke again, "Base knows Suzuya Squad defected. There's a big fight at the building. Take a right, third left, then go straight ahead at the crossroads, and you'll be there."

Mutsuki relayed the information to Shirazu, and heard Saiko gasp. "Saiko?"

"Arima's men are headed your way. He called another squad to the storm drain."

Mutsuki grimaced. "...Send Urie over when you can contact him," he sighed. "Keep safe, Saiko."

"What's happening?" Shirazu asked.

"Suzuya Squad is an ally. Arima has summoned more men to the storm drain. We'll have to fight."

Shirazu slowed the bike to a stop as he neared the crossroads. "Let's walk from here," he said softly. "It will attract less attention. If Sasaki and Hide are in there, I sure hope we get there before Arima."

They dismounted the bike and began to walk. Mutsuki looked at Shirazu's worried expression and linked hands with him. He understood that anxiety. They were the last line of defence between Arima and Sasaki. They would buy their mentor some time, even though they knew that against Arima, they didn't stand a chance.

Shirazu squeezed Mutsuki's hand, not daring to meet his eye. His heart pounded with fear. There was so much they'd never done in this life. At least they would be together.

 

The atmosphere at :re was quiet and peaceful. Few people had come in that morning, which meant Nishiki was bored and even more annoying than usual. Touka had ended up banishing him to the back room to do some stock-taking. Yomo had disappeared into the kitchen, and Touka had set to work cleaning the tables. She wished they had some customers. She didn't like it when the coffee shop was this quiet; it gave her too much time to think.

As if answering her wish, the shop bell jingled as someone stepped inside.

"Welcome to--" The words died on Touka's lips as she stared at the investigator in the doorway.

Urie glared back and walked towards her. "Ghoul..."

Touka dropped her cleaning cloth, ready to fight. "Dove!" she shouted, alerting the others.

"Pathetic," Urie wrinkled his nose and sat down, as Yomo and Nishiki ran in. "It isn't _me_ you want to fight."

"Acting like that, I'd say you're asking for a fight," Nishiki glared.

"I'd hold your tongue if I were you, _Serpent_ ," Urie gazed at him levelly. "I'm willing to leave you guys alone, much as it sickens me to do so."

Touka took a step forward. "...why?"

"It was you who cleaned up the bodies last night. Specifically you two." Urie motioned to Touka and Yomo. "Pretty far to go for some food."

Yomo eyed Urie, expression stern. "You've very sure of yourself."

"Good nose," Urie tapped his nose. "I've been watching this place ever since Sasaki came here. Though you'd know him as Ken Kaneki." Urie smirked at their expressions. "I told you, I'm willing to leave you guys alone. You're useful."

"And if we stop being useful?" Nishiki crossed his arms.

"You'll have to continue to be useful, won't you?" Urie rested one elbow on the table. "As we speak, Haise Sasaki is in danger. The man pursuing him is named Kishou Arima. He's the man who killed Ken Kaneki."

Touka's scowled. "Tell me where he is."

"20th Ward, but you'd be more useful elsewhere," Urie stood up, setting a piece of paper on the table. "I'll leave this here. You may find it an interesting read."

Urie smirked at their shocked faces, and strode out of the door.

Touka picked up the piece of paper. "Persons Involved in Heinous Experimentation on Human and Ghoul-kind..." she read aloud. As her eyes travelled down the list - annotated with offences committed - her expression darkened. Touka handed the page wordlessly to Yomo, and walked out of the shop.

Urie was waiting outside.

 

Akira sat in an interrogation room, handcuffs chafing her wrists. Matsuri had left her there an hour ago, and not returned. He'd taken away her bag, too, no doubt to remove any evidence. She was beginning to wonder if she'd been forgotten about when the door opened and Matsuri stepped inside, Saiko's portable drive in his hand.

"Interesting case you've been working on," he commented, sitting down opposite her. "You've been wasted, Mado. I could have done with somebody like you."

Akira eyed him impassively.

Matsuri set the drive on the table and steepled his fingers. "What I'm interested in is what you intended to do with all that information. Who did you honestly think you could go to? Now, how did Amon put it in his notes? _They're all in on it_."

Akira pursed her lips and looked away. It was hard to tell if Matsuri was bluffing, or whether her plan had gone horribly wrong. If this spread right to the top, she was as good as dead. Amon had found out, no doubt Shinohara had found out, too--and they were missing and comatose, respectively. Things didn't look so good.

"Are you not going to answer your superior?" Matsuri demanded, glaring.

The door opened behind him, and Yoshitoki walked in, expression grave. "Matsuri..."

"I'm in the middle of an interrogation," Matsuri didn't rise for his father, or even look up from Akira. "An interrogation of a known CCG defector, thought to have aided the dangerous ghoul Haise Sasaki."

"The Chairman wants to see her."

"That old fart..." Matsuri muttered. "Now?"

"Now," Yoshitoki replied. "You're to come too. Family meeting."

As Matsuri led Akira from the room, she glanced back and saw Yoshitoki pocket the hard drive. Her plan had definitely failed.

 

The storm drain was in sight. Sasaki and Hide raced towards it desperately. Once they were underground, they could hopefully evade detection--though they would have to be careful. They were fifty metres from the entrance, twenty metres, ten...

Neither noticed Arima until it was too late.

"Eyepatch--and Sunflower, what a surprise," Arima jumped down from the bridge across the drain, blocking the entrance. His smile was anything but pleasant.

All around, bureau investigators stepped out of the shadows.

Sasaki's vision blurred and he swayed slightly, a flashback racing before his eyes. Kaneki had faced off with Arima like this before, only it had been underground. It hadn't ended well.

"Haise!" Hide grasped Sasaki's arm, steadying him. "Hold on there. Fight it."

"I'd always hoped for a reunion," Arima spoke up, passing his quinque from hand to hand.

Sasaki groaned, feeling sick as he tried to push the flashback away.

Frowning, Hide let out his kagune. It slid from his shoulder, spreading and curving like a shield. Hide pulled Sasaki closer, guarding him.

"Well isn't that nice," Arima chuckled. "My defective Sunflower trying to protect my own prized Eyepatch." His expression hardened, and he signalled to the men. "Do what you like with Sunflower. Eyepatch is mine."

The investigators closed in, quinques seeming to cry out for bloodshed.

"I'm okay," Sasaki murmured, squeezing Hide's hand.

The seconds stretched on and nobody seemed to move. Then everybody leapt into action at once. Arima bounded towards them; Sasaki pushed Hide aside and jumped, delivering a swift kick to Arima's face. But Arima grabbed his foot and twisted, toppling Sasaki to the ground. Sasaki rolled as Arima thrust his quinque downward, back on his feet near where Hide struggled against his opponents.

Hide was no fighter. No matter how much training Touka and Yomo had given him, he'd never match up to their skills. Yet Hide fought hard. Dying was not an option. His pulse raced as he defended against an ukaku-type quinque, and he staggered backwards when his kagune was hit. He grimaced, clenching his fists, and launched an attack on the man responsible. The investigator fired a blast from his quinque and Hide dodged, feeling the attack rip away the side of his mask, biting into his skin. He threw the investigator aside, panting and looking about wildly for the next attack. He felt winded, disoriented, already exhausted.

Another investigator raced towards Hide, but was held back by a sudden barrage of what looked like missiles.

"Shirazu!" Sasaki shouted out, ducking under Arima's arm and whirling around for the man's next attack. "Protect Hide!"

"So chivalrous," Arima smirked, energy bursts from his quinque pulsating rapidly toward Sasaki, who leapt aside.

Shirazu fought his way through the armed investigators, expression ferocious. Mutsuki battled beside him, a quinque blade in each hand. Unlike Shirazu, he hadn't yet released his kagune, but with the quinque, he fought like an angry demon.

Mutsuki reached Hide, blades covered in blood. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Hide replied, breathless. "We were ambushed..."

Shirazu launched himself at a fellow investigator, tackling the man to the ground. "Grab Sasaki and run, already!"

"But..." Hide ducked an attack and glanced over at Sasaki, who still fought Arima. Sasaki was evenly matched with Arima, and he hadn't even released his kagune yet. Could they defeat him, together?

"Get moving!" Mutsuki yelled as he fended off another investigator. "We'll hold the others back!"

Hide turned and took off towards Sasaki.

Arima swung a leg towards Sasaki in a move that would shatter most people's bones. Sasaki ducked. Arima grinned. He was enjoying this. He'd put time and effort into training Sasaki for such a fight. The grin faded when Sasaki twisted around and delivered a swift blow to his quinque arm. Attacking from behind: Sasaki was playing dirty.

Arima smirked. He could do that, too. He lifted his quinque and prepared to attack.

Leaping backwards, Sasaki released his kagune, gaze almost feral.

"Haise!" Hide ran towards them.

Without warning, Arima changed his mark.

The blast pulsated through the air, and Hide let out a cry of agony as it hit him. Hide pitched forward, his blood spattering across the ground.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth behind the CCG is revealed, and Sasaki gears up for one final fight against Arima. If he should fail, then all is lost...

Chairman Tsuneyoshi Washuu spent some time studying the silent, angry-looking investigator before he spoke.

"Akira Mado. You've worked hard."

Akira stared at him, lips pursed tightly. Matsuri and Yoshitoki had brought her to a room on the top floor of the CCG headquarters, which appeared to be more like a private apartment. Tsuneyoshi sat in an armchair in the spacious living room, his age-thinned face and stern eyes unreadable. Matsuri stood beside him, hands on his hips. His was the coldest, most calculating gaze in the room, and Akira tried her best not to meet his eyes.

Nearby, Yoshitoki had linked the hard drive up to a computer and was scrolling through the files.

"This is quite a comprehensive collection of data..." he spoke up.

The Chairman nodded, closing his eyes. "I'm sure it is. Like father, like daughter." His eyes opened again, and he peered at Akira. "I suspect it is from him that you gained your first lead?"

Akira didn't answer. It seemed pointless, when everybody in the room seemed to know as much as she did.

"Answer the chairman, Mado," Matsuri ordered.

"Chairman Washuu, you knew...?" Akira had to know for sure.

"Yes," Tsuneyoshi got to his feet. It was clear he was unable to straighten his back or legs properly anymore, and he waved Matsuri away when the man tried to help him. "I knew the bureau has been working for a long time to develop weapons that could be used against ghouls. My own father was heavily involved in the creation of the quinques you use today."

Akira frowned. "But--"

Tsuneyoshi held up a hand, silencing her. "I asked my grandson to spare me the details. I no longer care to hear of them. Your meddling has made me very angry, Akira Mado. I understood that my investigators were loyal, hard-working, and brave. I expected discretion...Matsuri."

"Grandfather?" Matsuri tilted his head, surprised. "I've done my best to keep everything quiet. Arima and I haven't even--"

"I chose you over your father, believing you were the stronger, more intelligent heir to my seat. I see now that I was wrong. You disappointed me, Matsuri." Tsuneyoshi's voice was regretful.

"But I--"

Tsuneyoshi swiftly raised his hand, and words ceased from Matsuri's lips. Instead came forth blood, thick and arterial.

Akira stared as Matsuri's body toppled to the floor. Tsuneyoshi hadn't only lifted his hand, she realised. He'd released a kagune.

"Matsuri!" Yoshitoki leapt from the computer and dropped to his knees beside the body. "He may have done wrong, but you didn't need to kill him! He was my son! Your own grandson!"

Tsuneyoshi withdrew his kagune and returned to his seat. "Matsuri was a danger to the bureau's security," he replied coolly. "I could never allow him to succeed me. You, instead, shall take my seat when I am gone. However, you must learn to steel your heart."

Yoshitoki bowed his head and stroked Matsuri's hair with a trembling hand.

Akira looked on in confusion. Was this real? Was the Commission of Counter Ghoul run by...ghouls?

 

"Hide!" Sasaki screamed, darting forward as his lover toppled. He caught Hide in his arms, forgetting about Arima and the danger they were in.

"I'll...I'll be okay..." Hide gulped. Blood dripped from his stomach and Sasaki grimaced at an unexpected flashback: the last time Kaneki saw Hide. That time, Hide had been injured the same way.

"Hold on," Sasaki murmured gently, mentally fighting off the sick feeling. "I'll protect you, Hide."

Arima let out another electric attack from his quinque. Sasaki dived aside with Hide, who let out a quiet groan of pain.

"Didn't I teach you to never let down your guard?" Arima stood only metres away, smirking. "You can do better than that."

He raised his quinque again, only for a large, scythe-shaped quinque to push it aside.

"This isn't a fair fight, Arima," Suzuya chastised, peering up at him. Suzuya and his quinque were covered in blood. He licked a splatter of it from his hand, expression brightening. "So I brought my squad to play, too."

Arima narrowed his eyes. Suzuya's squad had already joined the battle.

Taking advantage of Arima's distraction, Sasaki lifted Hide and ran into the storm drain.

 

Matsuri Washuu's blood was spreading in a pool on the floor.

Seeming oblivious, Tsuneyoshi smiled pleasantly. "Now that has been dealt with, I expect you want to know the truth, Mado."

Akira nodded dumbly, tearing her gaze from the body on the floor. "You're ghouls...?"

"Well spotted," Tsuneyoshi chuckled. "Let me tell you the true history behind the CCG, for what you learned at the academy is false." He settled back, eyes closing as he spoke, as though he were remembering.

"In the year that Daikichi Washuu founded the CCG, the human population was dwindling. Ghouls were breeding rapidly, spreading further afield from the towns and villages that are now our cities and suburbs. The human race was in danger of dying out; rival ghoul clans were at war, and it was clear that unless something was done, our world would die. Ghouls would snuff out the human race and then cannibalise themselves into extinction.

"And so Daikichi Washuu gathered the strongest ghouls and humans, and started the CCG as a way of controlling the ghoul population. The organisation was adopted as a government agency with the understanding that all ghoul operatives would charade as humans. Within two years, the ghoul and human populations had stabilised. For the most part, the two races lived in harmony."

Akira stared, barely believing her ears.

"But the human race grew faster than expected," Tsuneyoshi continued. "Soon they outnumbered ghouls within the ranks of the CCG. By that time, the Washuus had perfected the art of appearing human. But my ancestors knew that some day, there might no longer be ghouls at the CCG. Humans would take over, and it would be the ghoul population that found itself in danger of dying out."

"Yet Yoshiu Washuu developed quinque...?" Akira shook her head. It didn't make sense.

"Yes. The ghoul portion of the CCG grew too small; they could no longer openly deploy their kagune for fear of attack from their human comrades. Many rebel ghoul factions had sprung up in the wake of the CCG, and committed atrocities that caused the human race to despise all ghouls, friend or foe. Soon enough, no ghoul dared enter the ranks of the CCG for fear of being discovered, and memory of there ever being such investigators died out. Humans could not eradicate rebels ghouls without aid, so my father, along with a human scientist from Germany, developed the quinques. Since then, the CCG and its worldwide counterparts have always striven to discover new methods of maintaining the status quo between our two races. I'm sure you're aware that we already have true ghouls back within our ranks."

"Kishou Arima..." murmured Akira, recalling the list. "...Hanbee Abara..." The latter had undergone even more surgery than Arima, with complete kakuhou removal and multiple organ transplants. It was a small wonder he was still alive.

Tsuneyoshi nodded. "So you must understand that whilst much of what you have found is shocking, it has been necessary."

Akira stared at him, incredulous. "Understand? The bureau has taken people against their will, killed innocents to make their weapons, destroyed lives in an attempt to make super-investigators..."

"Haise Sasaki has a long way to go, yet."

"If Arima doesn't kill him."

"We can always rebuild him." Tsuneyoshi sighed in a bored manner, and glanced at his son. "Get up, Yoshitoki. You two never got along. It was very tiresome. You should be glad."

"Sorry, father," Yoshitoki rose to his feet and stood beside Tsuneyoshi's chair. "I'll announce his death after the current operation. Killed in action. To be buried with full honours."

"Excellent. We'll make a future chairman of you yet," Tsuneyoshi chuckled. "Now, Mado. I need you to keep quiet about this. Can you do that?"

Akira pursed her lips.

"Of course," the chairman smiled and rose again, walking towards her. "You will have to erase all of those who know, in order to prove your loyalty. Remember that you're a wanted woman. I can very easily make that warrant disappear...and that of Haise Sasaki, provided he cooperates."

Akira thought of all the people she had worked with to discover what had brought her here: first, trustworthy Haise, then the Quinx - each hard-working in their own way, each with their faults and their talents - and Hide, once a CCG assistant himself, so upbeat on the outside, so damaged inside, yet so determined. She couldn't let them down, wouldn't betray them, refused to kill them. If she never returned, they would know she had failed. They would know to flee for safety.

Akira looked Tsuneyoshi dead in the eye, seeing no empathy there, only cunning and cold. "No, I won't," she said softly.

Tsuneyoshi sighed. "We had this issue with Koutarou Amon, too. Are you certain that is your answer?"

Akira scowled at the mention of Amon's name. "I said no," she uttered, as angry as she was terrified. "And I mean no."

"In that case, it is time you joined your father." Tsuneyoshi reached for her. A kagune suddenly punctured through his forehead, spattering Akira with blood. She looked on in shock as the chairman's body was tossed aside.

Yoshitoki Washuu relaxed his kagune and smiled regretfully. "The CCG has overlooked these wrongdoings for far too long." He stepped forward and, producing a handkerchief, wiped the blood from her face. "Let's remove those handcuffs, and you and I can take a good look at your findings. I've always been rather out of the loop on these things. As the new chairman, I am none too happy about what I've discovered so far." He fiddled with the handcuffs as he spoke, and broke them from her wrists.

Akira's eyes filled with tears. Did this mean the plan had succeeded...?

"Please don't cry," Yoshitoki pressed the handkerchief into her hand. "I need you to be strong right now."

"Amon..." Akira choked back a sob. She'd spent so long holding on to the thought that he might somehow still be alive. From the sound of it, Tsuneyoshi had killed him. "He's really dead..."

"I don't know," Yoshitoki admitted softly. "He agreed to stay quiet, when the former chairman threatened him. But he really did disappear. The bureau doesn't know what happened to him."

Akira wiped her eyes on the blood-specked handkerchief and took a shaky breath, trying to quell her tears. "How many others...?"

"Just you and Amon, to my memory," Yoshitoki smiled. "No others noticed the discrepancies. Nobody else asked the right questions. You should have been promoted a long time ago." He held out a hand. "Now, come. We have work to do--Special Class Investigator Akira Mado."

Akira blinked back the last of her tears. A promotion, at a time like this? She took Yoshitoki's hand and rose to her feet. Akira saluted, unsteady but with renewed energy flooding through her body. "Awaiting orders, Chairman."

 

The sound of battle had faded minutes ago. Sasaki had slogged through the shallow water of the storm drain and into the sewer system, carrying Hide in his arms. They were far from the entrance now, out of danger. They could escape.

"Let me down, Haise," Hide said quietly. "I can walk."

Sasaki stopped and let Hide stand. Hide grimaced and nearly fell, and Sasaki caught hold of him. "I'll carry you."

"No, it will slow you down. I'll walk." Hide pulled off what remained of his mask. The black portion of the yin-yang had torn away almost entirely. He dropped the ruined mask into the water and they continued on their way, unaware that they were followed.

 

Mutsuki was exhausted. In the past, he'd battled ghouls a thousand times stronger than the human investigators around him, but his former comrades kept on coming. Mutsuki hadn't expected there to be so many. His muscles ached and his hands felt as though they were frozen in position on the handles of his quinque. Mutsuki had lost track of where Shirazu was; occasionally he heard his partner's angry yell and nearly pitied whoever Shirazu was laying into. The arrival of Suzuya Squad had been a relief, but the fight was still against them.

Would this battle never end?

Hearing Shirazu let out a shout of surprise, Mutsuki whirled around and saw his partner thrown to the ground, a quinque aimed at his chest. Mutsuki didn't even think about it--he threw one of his blades, hitting Shirazu's opponent square between the eyes.

Then he realised what he'd done. Everyone had been holding back, not wanting to kill a fellow investigator. But he had done just that.

Mutsuki sank to the ground, hand over his mouth in horror. Then something hit him in the back, and he knew no more.

"Cease fire!" An armoured truck drew up, a commanding voice booming through the loudspeaker mounted on the roof. "All parties, cease fire, by order of Chairman Washuu!"

Slowly, quinques were lowered. Investigators stood sheepishly on the scuffed, blood-spattered ground, beside enemies, beside comrades.

The passenger door of the truck opened, and Iwao Kuroiwa stepped out, still speaking through the loudspeaker. "The warrants for Haise Sasaki and Akira Mado have been withdrawn, with proof of their innocence. Chairman Washuu has issued a new warrant, for the capture of the SS-rated ghoul Kishou Arima, in connection with conspiracy to compromise the integrity of the CCG."

"Arima is a ghoul...?" Investigators exchanged confused glances. All but Shirazu, who hadn't even heard. He had just discovered Mutsuki on the ground, covered in blood.

"Tooru," he murmured, pulling him into his arms. "Open your eyes. It's over. Tooru...?"

When Mutsuki didn't reply, Shirazu bowed his head and began to sob.

 

"How much further?" Hide's eyes were half-closed, his face pale.

Sasaki shook his head. "Don't think about that." He wrapped his arm more tightly around Hide, supporting him as they hurried through the sewers. They had miles to cover yet. Sasaki couldn't tell Hide that, but he couldn't lie to him, either.

Hide smiled faintly. "Last time it was me that carried Kaneki..."

"Don't think about that, either." Sasaki stopped walking and rested his head against Hide's. "Think about right here, right now. Only that. It's the only way to move forward."

"I'm tired, Haise," Hide said quietly. "We've been trying to escape for so long."

Sasaki knew that Hide didn't only mean today. For Hide, this nightmare had stretched on for years. "I know," Sasaki murmured. He pulled off his mask and pressed a soft kiss against Hide's lips. "But we're nearly done. Just a little further."

Hide sighed and wrapped his arms around Sasaki. "It's always a little further."

"That means we're still alive," Sasaki replied gently. He held Hide against his chest, closing his eyes for a moment and gathering his thoughts. Hide's injuries needed attention, but he couldn't do that here. They needed to reach the surface--but they had to get out of the 20th Ward, first.

"I love you, Haise." Hide nuzzled Sasaki's neck. "So tired..."

"Stay awake, Hide." Sasaki took a step back, hands resting on Hide's shoulders. "I love you too," he murmured, heart fluttering as he looked into Hide's eyes. "So stay awake for me, okay?"

Hide smiled faintly. "Yeah. I don't want to miss a moment with you."

Sasaki brought their lips together in a soft kiss, holding Hide close.

The first indication they had of Arima's arrival was when an explosion of energy knocked them both down.

Hide let out a moan. He ached all over, disoriented from the blast, and too weak to stand.

"Sorry to interrupt such a heart-warming confession," Arima smirked as he approached. "But you and I have something to finish, Haise."

Sasaki touched Hide's hand. "Stay there," he whispered. Getting to his feet, another flashback sped through his brain: fear, disgust, confusion, fighting Arima, thrown down, defenceless, that quinque--and nothing. Sasaki swayed. "Not now," he mumbled to himself, keeping his eyes on Arima.

Sasaki realised that he had never beaten Arima. When Kaneki battled him, Arima had won. Whenever Sasaki sparred with him, Arima won. But Sasaki couldn't lose this time. Hide was relying on him.

Sasaki released his kagune, and let out a battle cry.

 

"Sir!" An assistant ran into Yoshitoki's office, saluting. "Another report, sir. Ghouls attacked a shop belonging to the brother of Dr Shiba. Shiba was there, and has been killed."

Yoshitoki stopped pacing, and nodded. "Thank you."

"Sir, human remains were found there. Their deaths weren't caused by ghouls."

"Have a team investigate, thank you," Yoshitoki dismissed the assistant and turned to Akira. "How many is that?"

Akira looked up from the desk, pen poised over a printed list. "Five, Chairman." Whoever was responsible for the killings seemed to have the same list she did. With the exception of Arima, who was currently missing, they were working their way down the list. She didn't tell Yoshitoki. It seemed more trouble than it was worth--and whoever was responsible had to be someone close to her.

"Chigyou next, hm?" Yoshitoki was suddenly beside Akira, looking at her list. "I wonder if we should warn him. He's a clever man, for his faults." He eyed her thoughtfully, catching the wary expression in her eyes, and smiled. "There are good ghouls and bad ghouls. We appear to have a team of good ones on our side. Any idea how we might contact them? I'd like to give Chigyou a second chance, if possible."

Akira shook her head. "I don't know who it is, Chairman..." she trailed off, mind racing. "I might be able to find out who does. Can I step out for a moment?"

Yoshitoki nodded. "Off you go."

Akira hurried out of the office, dialling Urie.

 

The sewer echoed with the splash of feet in water and Sasaki's angry yells. Slumped against a wall, Hide watched the fight blearily. Sasaki's breathing was heavy and his kagune twitched dangerously. Neither Sasaki nor Arima was gaining any ground in this fight. They were too evenly matched. Arima looked cool and unruffled, a slight smirk upon his face. Sasaki was the opposite: red-faced, furious, an animalistic glint in his eyes.

Arima fired a blast from his quinque. Sasaki somersaulted backwards to avoid the blast, and skidded on the slimy floor. His kagune shot forward, four deadly, spiked tentacles hurtling towards Arima.

Another blast from the quinque drove off the attack, and Sasaki fell backwards. He landed beside Hide, head smashing into the wall. Blood began to stain his hair.

Arima stepped closer and fired again.

"Haise!" Hide threw up an arm to cover Sasaki. His kagune rushed from his shoulder, shielding them. Hide grimaced: the attack had been powerful. Painful.

"I'm fine," Sasaki squeezed Hide's arm briefly and quickly kissed his forehead under the cover of his kagune.

Jumping back to his feet, Sasaki charged towards Arima. He leapt into the air, kagune flying towards his foe, feet aimed to kick.

Arima was beneath Sasaki in an instant, firing upwards.

Hit by the attack, Sasaki fell into the water, kagune drooping.

"Haise!" Hide struggled to his feet, face pale.

"It always ends this way," Arima sighed with boredom. "Did you learn nothing?" He walked away from Sasaki's prone form, towards Hide.

Terrified, Hide braced himself against the wall, kagune ready to defend. Fighting Arima was futile.

"Watch, Haise," Arima turned back, glaring at the still body. "I want you to see Nagachika die. He will show you how it's done."

Hide saw his chance. He sprang at Arima from behind, teeth bared.

Arima didn't look, barely even moved. But suddenly Hide was stumbling backwards, coughing up blood, as Arima's quinque crackled with energy.

Arima stalked toward Hide, gaze predatory. "You are weak. You were always a failure."

Vision blurring, Hide saw Sasaki struggle to his feet.

"Arima..." Sasaki growled.

"Haven't you had enough?" Arima faced Sasaki. "Or did you rise to watch him die?"

Sasaki took a step forward and swayed dizzily. He saw Arima, armed and smirking. He saw Hide, covered in his own blood and barely conscious.

Sasaki blinked.

He was in the room with the chequered floor again. White-hared Kaneki stood there, hand in hand with his black-haired counterpart. Their heads, so close together, reminded him of Hide's mask.

"You need us," said white-haired Kaneki.

Black-haired Kaneki held out a hand. "Accept us."

White-haired Kaneki smiled, an expression that Sasaki had never seen upon his face before. He, too, held out a hand towards Sasaki.

Distantly, Sasaki saw Hide's bloodied form cower at Arima's feet.

"He needs you," the pair spoke in tandem.

Sasaki grasped their hands, and the room filled with a blindingly bright light.

When Sasaki's vision returned, he was back in the sewer.

Arima raised his quinque, aiming at Sasaki's dazed face.

Kagune poised to strike, Sasaki rushed forward as Arima attacked.

Arima lowered his quinque, a puzzled expression upon his face. What should have been a direct hit had...missed? Blood dripped from Arima's chest and he looked down at himself in amazement. Why was he bleeding? Where was Sasaki?

Turning slowly, Arima discovered Sasaki behind him. Sasaki's eyes were glazed, deadly. With a snarl, he let out his kakuja form.

"Centipede..." Arima uttered, brows raising. Sasaki shouldn't have been able to do that. He'd made sure of it when Chigyou and Shiba were working on him.

Sasaki attacked with a bloodthirsty shriek.

Arima blocked him, counterattacking immediately after with a blow of his quinque. It should have stunned Sasaki enough to finish him, but instead he let out a wild howl and lunged for Arima's throat.

Flesh tore, blood splashed, and Arima's quinque slipped from his grasp. He fell backwards, an expression of surprise frozen onto his face. Sasaki was immediately on top of him, growling, feral, his fingers tearing into Arima's chest.

Voices echoed along the tunnel, and multiple pairs of feet could be heard splashing through the water.

Sasaki looked up as Suzuya rounded the bend.

Suzuya's eyes widened with shock at the sight before him. He gripped his quinque tightly, prepared to fight. Sasaki looked crazy. Out of control.

"Haise..." Hide's weak groan was almost lost amidst the sound of water.

But Sasaki heard it. His head snapped around toward the blood-covered half-ghoul, and in an instant Sasaki bounded toward him, reaching out.

"No!" Suzuya rushed forward, quinque raised.

Then Hide was in Sasaki's arms. Everything ghoul about Sasaki retracted in the blink of an eye. He looked up, cradling Hide protectively to his chest. "I'd never hurt him, Suzuya," he said softly. His gaze was completely lucid.

Suzuya lowered his weapon and called down the tunnel. "Here! They're hurt!" He smiled at Sasaki. "It's over, Haise. Washuu retracted your warrant. Arima became a target. You're safe."

"You hear that, Hide?" Sasaki's rubbed Hide's back. "We're safe."

Hide didn't answer.

"Hide?" Sasaki peered at his lover. Hide was unconscious, his pulse weak. Blood trickled from his mouth in a steady stream.

 

Sasaki didn't let anyone help him transfer Hide from the sewer to the truck that waited in the street. He was distantly aware of seeing Mutsuki loaded onto another truck, and Shirazu being supported by Hanbee, sobbing. And Arima, unconscious and restrained, thrust into the back of a prison van.

As they travelled away from the site of the battle, Suzuya tried to fill Sasaki in on what had happened, but Sasaki wasn't really listening. The only thing he heard was the most important detail: they were safe. It was over.

All he needed now was for Hide to be okay.

Sasaki closed his eyes and silently prayed.

 

"Arima has been apprehended, sir. He is being taken to Cochlea as we speak."

"And Haise Sasaki? Hideyoshi Nagachika?" Yoshitoki strolled up and down his office.

"Sasaki brought down Arima. Nagachika is badly injured."

"See that Nagachika gets the care he needs. Send Sasaki to me."

"Sir, he's refusing to leave Nagachika's side."

Akira looked up tiredly. "Chairman..."

Yoshitoki stopped beside the desk. "I understand," he said quietly. "Let him do as he will. Ask him to stop by my office when he is ready."

"Yes sir."

"Thank you." Yoshitoki ended the call and looked at Akira. "How are we doing with that list, Mado?"

The assassination reports had come in fast over the last two hours. Akira had crossed out nearly every name. "Arima apprehended, Chigyou imprisoned by the bureau, Kanou unknown, likely still with Aogiri. The rest are dead."

Yoshitoki let out a deep sigh. "Then we're done. Any cleanup can be left until tomorrow." He placed a hand on Akira's shoulder. "Go home, Mado. You look like you need some rest."

Grateful, Akira slipped out of the office.

She'd just stepped outside when Saiko called.

"Akira!" Saiko sounded worried.

"What's wrong? It's finished, Saiko. We won."

"Akira, Shirazu called. It's Tooru. He--" Saiko started to cry.

 

Slumped in a chair beside the bed, Sasaki watched the gentle rise and fall of Hide's chest. Hide's condition was stable, but it would take a while for him to recover from Arima's attack, despite having a ghoul's healing ability.

As he sat there, Sasaki reflected on the last time he'd sat beside Hide's bed, after Hide had been injured at the convenience store. It seemed like a lifetime away. So much had changed since then.

Hide's forehead creased into a frown as he dreamt. He whimpered, trembling beneath the covers. Sasaki pulled back the blanket and slipped into bed with his partner, careful of Hide's injuries as he wrapped his arms around him. Hide stilled and let out a sigh, expression becoming serene. Sasaki kissed the scar on Hide's bare shoulder, and held him.

He must have fallen asleep, for when Sasaki next opened his eyes, Hide had turned in his sleep and was now pressed against him, clinging on with need. As Hide continued to slumber, Sasaki noticed the two figures at the end of the bed. Gently untangling himself from Hide's embrace, Sasaki sat up.

The pair smiled when Sasaki laid eyes on them.

"You belong to him now," the black-haired Kaneki uttered softly.

The white-haired Kaneki nodded. "Take care of him."

The pair turned and walked away, merging and fading until all Sasaki saw was his own reflection in the dressing table mirror.

Sasaki knew he would never see them again.

From the bed, a pair of warm brown eyes fluttered open. "Haise...?"

Sasaki smiled, heart soaring. "You're awake," he murmured happily, gaze filled with relief. Leaning over Hide, Sasaki kissed him affectionately.

"Mm..." Hide's lips were parted, eyes bright with adoration. "I love you, Haise."

"I love you too, Hide. Always."

As Hide smiled, the first golden rays of dawn crept through the curtains.

A new day had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY ABOUT OUR SMOL SON OK??????
> 
> Final chapter tomorrow!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's two years since Arima was defeated. Some changes have occurred...

"More chocolate please, Hide!"

"More? What happened to your diet?"

Saiko shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table. "Today is a special day. Diets don't happen on special days."

Laughing, Hide loaded more chocolate onto the crepe and set the plate before her. "Alright, I'll let you off."

"You're even softer on her than I am," Sasaki wrapped his arms around Hide from behind, and nuzzled his shoulder.

Hide smiled, resting his hands over Sasaki's. "I can't help it. She's like a cute little kitten."

"Nya~" Saiko mewed in between mouthfuls of crepe, and grinned. "You two are the cute ones."

"Hm..." Sasaki inhaled Hide's scent and sighed deeply. A little over two years had passed since he defeated Arima, and Sasaki still found it hard to believe that Hide was alive. Arima had done a lot of damage and Hide had nearly died. Hide had suffered nightmares for months, even after his physical wounds had healed.

"Stop thinking about it," Hide spoke softly, interrupting Sasaki's reverie. He turned in the embrace, hands finding their way to Sasaki's hips. "I'm here, Haise. Don't think about all that stuff."

"I was thinking how lucky I am," Sasaki smiled. "We got through so much."

"We did..." Hide kissed Sasaki gently.

"If you guys are done making out, the crepes are burning," Akira called out.

"Aw crap!" Hide leapt over to the hob and grabbed the pan of blackened crepes from the flame.

Sasaki chuckled. "You could have dealt with them yourself, Akira."

"Nope. Today is a _special_ day," Akira echoed Saiko's words, grinning. "Anyway, I'm comfortable." She stretched lazily on the couch, feet in Urie's lap.

At first glance Urie looked his usual stoic self, studiously ignoring his superior by concentrating on his book. But on closer inspection, Sasaki realised that Urie was gently massaging Akira's feet with his free hand.

Akira let out a dramatic sigh. "I could really use a crepe right now..."

"They're coming!" Hide glanced over and grinned. Akira and Urie: now there was something he never thought he'd see.

"Not coming fast enough! How come Saiko got hers first?"

Akira didn't get an answer, for at that moment there was a commotion at the front door, followed by the fumbling of a key in the lock.

The door swung open and Shirazu stepped inside. "Home at last!" he sighed. "What a goddamn horrible flight! I swear--"

"Oh shush, you slept through most of it." A rich voice interrupted Shirazu's grumbling. Mutsuki stepped inside and grinned at the others. "Hey, we're back!"

"Tooru!" Saiko ran over from the table and hugged him tightly. "How was America? Did you bring me any candy?"

"Don't I get a hug too?" Shirazu raised a brow.

"I think Saiko is busy," Akira had joined them, followed by Urie. She held out her arms. "Welcome home, Shirazu. You look exhausted."

Shirazu hugged her gratefully.

"It's good to see you," Urie commented, arms crossed. Despite his indifferent expression, Shirazu got the feeling Urie meant it.

"Thanks... You too," Shirazu nodded, smiling faintly.

Saiko finally let go of Mutsuki when Sasaki rested a hand on her head.

"Come on, Saiko, Don't hog him to yourself." Sasaki smiled at the newly-returned pair.

Mutsuki had been another to have a lucky escape from death. He'd been taken into surgery immediately after the battle, to remove a blot clot in the artery that fed his kakuhou. With Shiba and others dead, it had been up to one of Shiba's trainees to complete the surgery. Mutsuki nearly hadn't made it, but after several hours of surgery, the operation was declared a success.

Since then, Mutsuki had been for a lot more surgery, though that had been through choice, and completely life-affirming.

Of all the Quinx Squad, it was Mutsuki who had changed the most over the past two years. Though he looked tired from travelling, with creased clothes and messed up hair and a dark scuff of stubble across his jaw, Mutsuki now stood confidently, gaze bright and certain.

It had been six months since Sasaki had last seen Mutsuki and Shirazu. An American scientist had discovered a revolutionary new treatment for RC Cell Over-Secretion Disease. Shirazu had dropped everything - sold everything, too - to take his sister over there. Mutsuki hadn't thought twice about going with him, and Chairman Washuu had given them his blessing. He'd even approved funding for the treatment, though it wasn't common knowledge. Haru lived in America now, still fragile but steadily more able to do things for herself.

"Are you going to hug me or not?" Mutsuki stepped forward and hugged Sasaki tightly.

"Sorry," Sasaki chuckled, returning the hug and patting him on the back. "You look great, Mutsuki."

"Tooru always looks great," Shirazu smiled. Saiko had latched onto him now, and was mumbling questioningly about candy.

"Saiko, your crepe is going cold..." Hide warned, amused. She squeaked and ran back to the table.

Hide smiled at Shirazu. The man looked a lot less stressed than he had six months ago. "How is Haru doing?" he asked.

"Good, yeah!" Shirazu nodded. "She's living in an apartment belonging to the hospital. Still has to go for treatment once a week, but she's improving every day. I wanted to stay longer, but Haru said Tooru and I were so mushy it was sickening." Shirazu laughed and smiled fondly at his partner.

Mutsuki grinned as he stepped back from hugging Sasaki. "She said you fussed over her too much, too. She could barely lift a finger without you asking if she needed anything, Ginshi."

"I was worried..." Shirazu scratched his head sheepishly.

"You were cute," Mutsuki grinned.

Akira had been listening to the conversation in amusement, but as Shirazu lowered his hand, she let out a gasp and grabbed his wrist. "What's this?" she demanded, drawing everybody's attention to Shirazu's ring finger. A golden band glinted there, shiny enough to suggest it hadn't been there long, but worn enough to suggest it hadn't been taken off for a while, either.

Shirazu blushed. "Well, we'd taken Haru out one day, and there was this little chapel..."

"So I asked him to marry me," Mutsuki finished off, wrapping his arm around Shirazu's waist. Upon his hand was a ring identical to Shirazu's.

Saiko squealed in delight. "And he said yes?!"

Mutsuki chuckled. "He said yes. But he wouldn't let me carry him over the threshold just now..."

"It would have been totally embarrassing!" Shirazu protested, laughing as he slid his arm around Mutsuki's shoulders.

Sasaki looked at the couple. They seemed to glow with happiness, unable to stop smiling. "I'm really happy for you," he smiled.

Beside Sasaki, Hide nodded in agreement. "Congratulations, guys."

"So do you have any photos?" Akira pressed.

Urie eyed them thoughtfully. "...how long ago did you get married?" he asked suspiciously.

The couple exchanged guilty glances.

"Oh..." Shirazu raised his brows.

"...about three months ago?" Mutsuki mumbled.

"Three months and you didn't tell us?!" Sasaki stared.

"We wanted it to be a surprise," Shirazu grinned sheepishly, stupidly happy.

Hide chuckled. "We'll let you off--right, Haise?" He smiled, resting a hand lightly on Sasaki's back.

"Yeah, we'll let you off," Sasaki nodded. "But I expect to hear the full details."

The others nodded in agreement.

"Sure. And yes, Akira, we have some photos," Mutsuki smiled. "But we're pretty tired. We need to get freshened up, first."

Shirazu nodded. "Something to eat would be nice, too. Did I hear crepes mentioned?"

Hide chuckled. "Yes, I'm cooking crepes. Did you want your usual toppings?"

"Thanks!" Shirazu tugged Mutsuki up the stairs.

"Hey, what about my candy?" Saiko chased after the pair.

"I'm still waiting for _my_ crepes, Hide," Akira reminded him. "It's a special day, with those two having returned. I want my crepes. And more foot-rubs."

But before she could drag Urie back to the couch, her phone began to ring.

"Mado," she answered impatiently. Today was meant to be a day off, if such a thing existed in the CCG. "I'm just about to eat. Yes, they're home... What? You _knew?!_ And you didn't think to tell us? Ugh, I could strangle you!" Akira sighed heavily. "...yes, alright. We'll be right over." She hung up and looked at Urie. "There's been a possible sighting of Kanou. Yoshitoki wants us to check it out. And he knew about those two getting married! Sneaky bastard..."

Moments later, she was leaving, Urie at her side.

"Does she always speak to the chairman like that?" Hide arched a brow as he wandered back to the kitchen.

"She's the only one who gets away with it," Sasaki chuckled. He leaned against the counter and watched as Hide began to mix up more batter. "...crepes were what started it all," he realised.

"Hm?"

"If the squad hadn't wanted crepes that day, I wouldn't have met you..." Sasaki rested his hand over Hide's.

Hide set down the spoon and kissed Sasaki gently. "We would have met eventually."

"Yeah..." Eyes fluttering closed, Sasaki captured Hide's lips in another kiss. He knew they would have found each other somehow. Hide had spent a long time looking for him, after all. Now here they were, together.

From upstairs came the sound of joyous laughter, and footsteps running along the hall. Hide chuckled softly. "They're really happy, aren't they?"

"I'm glad for them," Sasaki smiled.

Pressing Sasaki against the counter, Hide kissed him affectionately. "Maybe we should go to America, too..." he murmured against Sasaki's lips, cheeks red.

"Hide..." Breath catching in his throat, Sasaki tightened his arms around him, his reply in the form of an ardent kiss.

When they broke apart, they shared a smile, breathless, blushing, happy. Heads rested together, they held each other, feeling each other's warmth, each other's heartbeats.

Sasaki lifted a hand to caress Hide's face, slowly melting beneath Hide's adoring gaze. He never had flashbacks anymore, never saw his past selves. The past was all gone, and the future was bathed in the brilliance of Hide's smile.

"That's a yes, if it wasn't obvious," Sasaki murmured softly.

Hide's smile brightened, and Sasaki found himself smiling back as he was tugged into another kiss. The future looked utterly beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SERIOUSLY I COULD NEVER KILL OFF PRECIOUS SMOL SON. Therefore he gets a cheesy happy ending instead.   
> ...they all do....
> 
> That's it folks!  
> ...almost. I'll be posting a short one-shot that slots in between chapters 20 and 21. And possibly writing some other side-fics. Because I realised I ship Suzubee. And Akira/Urie...? What is even the ship name for that? I probably won't write much of that pairing though...   
> However, there will be more ShiraMu, and of _course_ more Sasahide/Hidekane!


End file.
